Do you consider yourself poor, wealthy, or in between?

amother

Coffee

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 10:57 am

amother Caramel wrote:

We're comfortable financially now but squished in a small apartment.
Once we buy a house we will be poor.
Make 226k.

And we're the opposite. Live in a nice house bH, just finished a big extension. But we have debt from that which we're paying down. If we kept our house as it was (too small for our family, but could've managed at a pinch) then we'd be comfortable. So things are more tight now since we've done the renovations, but once we've paid it all off I hope for things to be easier.
Although this year has been the biggest jump in tuition for one of our kids, so until theyre all married now we'll probably have to be very careful with how we spend.
I'm very grateful we've sorted the house out now before expenses get even greater (kids wise) my oldest is almost 16.

amother

Melon

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 11:37 am

I wrote ok but people here would probably say we are wealthy. BH we have a nice income, but that also means we are in a high tax bracket. We have 4 tuitions (3 are close to 20k) which we pay in full. We also have NYC income tax that we need to pay.

amother

Oak

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 2:11 pm

I dont want to think I'm poor

however

I dont own a house or other assets
I have no savings
we have about 50k in debt
we live paycheck to paycheck and cant cover YomTov or simchas or large expenses

I'm WIPED out of any energy to think how to earn more money and dh is limited in ability to earn

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 8:33 pm

amother Oak wrote:

Same. Except B"H we own a house. Have been behind in mortgage though.

amother

Petunia

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 9:46 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

The poster you’re referring to, covers her tuition and has no cc debt. You thought her post is the poorest it gets?!
I wish I was that “rich”.

Exactly. frugal=poor. we have debt and not much savings. Dh earns peanuts but he lets me get new clothing , wigs , manicures I don't think twice about. No way I would be able to live Like the poster. I grew up frugal and started out marriage frugal learnt from dh and his family how to spend money on myself. He grew up with way less money but so much better emotionally because the weren't cheapskates.

amother

NeonPurple

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 9:51 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

I’m sorry but you’re misguided if you you think frugal = poor. You seem to think you’re rich based on how much you spend (instead of what it really means, how much you have) I was raised in a frugal home Bh and my dad was able to retire at 49. BH BH. My husband and I are frugal and we love debt free with our mortgage paid off and comfortable amount in savings. Frugal doesn’t mean cheap it means smart. It takes no seichal to spend spend spend. Saving takes thought, impulse control and determination.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Sep 21 2023, 9:53 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

So my dhs family is the same. But everything for myself goes on credit cards (it's not much because I'm too frugal but like before yomtov even just one manicure or whatever). Curious if this is in your budget or on credit cards. Ugh, such a hard balance and I think it's much more emotionally healthy to not be a tightwad. But also need to spend what we have. The only time I go over for myself is yomtov

amother

Rose

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 1:03 am

amother Oak wrote:

Do you receive from organizations?
It's okay to take to cover costs
Ppl with money also often can't afford simchas

amother

Forestgreen

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 1:28 am

amother Dill wrote:

My advice to you is to save and invest as much as possible because as your child gets older and if you’d like to grow your family, expenses climb like crazy

I agree with this. Until literally 6 months ago I would have considered myself in the same boat, I'd have said we were comfortable. Nice amount of savings, good salaries for us both, not much in childcare, big mortgage but easily paying it. Then my husband's job changed drastically- he's running his own business now instead of working for others and while it's doing well for a brand new business it's still very uncertain, there's no guarantee each month how much will come in. Also, we're now paying tuition, and childcare for our two other little kids, and a more expensive lease because we needed a minivan (the thought of buying used gave me way too much stress, I had no doubt we would somehow pick a lemon) so overall I'm way less certain about our financial status. The nice amount of savings we had just won't last all too long these days if we really needed to rely on it.

Basically, things can change really, really fast, and life only gets more expensive each year in this stage of life.

amother

White

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 1:19 pm

It’s all so relative. I don’t think anyone can put themselves in a box. I live in such an affluent neighborhood so even though we have a nice parnassah BH we are on the “poorer” end here because we live among a lot of “ new money”. We bought a bigger house so now we have an exorbitant mortgage and it’s stressful to the max. Plus 4 high tuitions. I don’t even try to keep up with the millionaires because that’s just not my life. My husband is a business owner and it fluctuates. Some months he makes a ton of $ and some barely a dime. I worry a lot because although we have no debt, we barely save and I worry about the future. I don’t think I’ll ever feel like we are comfortable. I have to work on my mindset and definitely emunah and bitachon

amother

Dill

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 1:23 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

If he earns peanuts how do you have money in your bank account for a new wig?

Also we are somewhat frugal because we have a goal to invest x amount each month and we do it automatically from the outset, not waiting to see what’s left at the end of the month. But we’re b”H not poor

amother

Petunia

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 2:58 pm

amother Firebrick wrote:

no we don't live on cc. Bh. He gets bonuses here and there. We have Medicaid (no food stamps ) somehow the money comes. We are saving a bit (for simchas) . I consider myself poor but I don't feel it as much because dh lets/encourages me spend on things that are important to me. I feel like my neighbors earn much more but kids are walking around jn nerdy hand me downs, filthy yards and houses because won't spend on cleaning help, old cars... They are probably saving for retirement but meantime live like gypsys

amother

Petunia

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 3:03 pm

amother Dill wrote:

I actually ordered a new wig with no money in the bank for it. Was davening so hard because was so important to me. Like a few days before I went to pick it up we got a nice check in the mail of covid money the govt owed us from 3 years ago -for one of the kids . We had totally forgotten about it ... We were shocked. Growing up we were so frugal .. Old clothing .... Old cars... Ugly furniture .. I was embarrassed to bring friends home. Later on in life I found out that my parents had more money than they showed . So ridiculous . Now they are living comfortably so good for them but I'm left with the trauma

giftedmom

Fri, Sep 22 2023, 3:14 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

In other words you’re playing the game