Should schools allow in-class birthday parties?

elisecohen

Tue, Sep 27 2005, 2:46 pm

My children's school doesn't allow. It eats up instructional time is the rationale. OTOH, they have a rule that if you have a party at home, you have to invite the whole class. In a big class (20 kids for my 6 year old) that's a lot of kids to have over!

613

Tue, Sep 27 2005, 3:13 pm

when I was in school, there were parties in the pre-school. but once you reached 1st grade, all you did was bring in cupcakes for lunchtime.
I don't think it's right that you must invite the whole class to bday parties at home.

MMEC123

Tue, Sep 27 2005, 4:04 pm

In my class parties are allowed but only at certain times of day with specific rules (what to bring, what not to bring, etc.). I've heard a rule that at home parties must either be no more than 5 kids OR the whole class. It makes sense. How do you think it would be if you invite 18/20, even 15/20. How do you choose? It's hurtful. The kids come into school and talk about it and people feel left out. So the 5 or all makes a lot of sense.

shopaholic

Tue, Sep 27 2005, 5:05 pm

When I taught Pre 1A, we made 1 party a month for the birthday girls of that month. The class baked cupcakes or a cake for the party & all the parents had to do was come & bring party bags if they wanted. I think its important to allow birthday parties in school. As a summer birthday girl, I always wanted a party in school but it never happened. I think the school should think this over again. It's the accepted thing everywhere.

imaamy

Tue, Sep 27 2005, 11:51 pm

I like the idea of parties at school, but at our school most parents bring Krispy Kreme donuts. We are trying to get the school to offer less junk food (shabbat parties, rewards, Rosh Hashana dipping apples in CHOCOLATE, CANDY and COOKIES with SODA--has anyone heard of this custom?) so I don't like my kids getting Krispy Kreme or whatever when someone has a birthday.

Pearl

Wed, Sep 28 2005, 6:22 am

in israel bday parties are always on friday morning, 2 children celebrate together, there is a standard list of things to be bought and brought by the parents, who share in the costs.
it's really nice for children to celebrate their bday at school.
now, they just bring kibud to their class mates, and for the teachers, and we have a party at home, but we are not obliged to invite the entire class. I think it's very demanding to require inviting all the kids!

Tovah

Wed, Sep 28 2005, 7:28 am

it might be alot to have 20 or more kids in your house but the reason is b/c kids will talk in school the next day and the kids who weren't invite will feel left out.

we had parties in school till 2nd grade and I think after that it's not necessary.

Pearl

Wed, Sep 28 2005, 7:47 am

I know what the reason is, but I think it should be up to the parents/children who they want to invite to their bday party at home.
where we live now, it's an unwritten rule that a child invites as many friends as his/her age. this means if the child turns 6 s/he invites 6 friends.
I think it's a silly rule, but that's the way it works here. my kids can invite friends, but I do put a limit, like up to 15, because I can't afford to have more (re logistics and budget).
my children s/t don't get invited to parties, but they always get invited to their friends' parties, and that's what counts imho.

jewgal84

Wed, Sep 28 2005, 11:54 am

Growing up, we were only allowed to serve cupcakes or doughnuts in school and ordered through school as well ( the rule still applies). So I would make my bday parties at home, with everyone invited, our classes can reach up to 30 classmates. My mother's policy was, we're not serving supper and I would have to find someone (older) to help run it, I did and those bday parties were the best, untill today my classmates of elemnatry still remember them.

In a preschool I worked at, I found it hard especially in the younger ages, when the parents would come along with relatives. It would turn into a competition of which bday party was the coolest and who gave out better goodie bags etc

One parent brought in matching plates, matching cups, matching table cloths and a princess crown and helium balloons (the kid turned 3).

I definately agree that if bday parties are allowed in school, there should be guidelines on how and what to serve.

Meema2Kids

Wed, Sep 28 2005, 9:53 pm

I think in preschool it is nice to celebrate birthdays in school. Our school has only about 12 students total so it hasn't gotten out of hand as far as having them too often, lots of junk etc. I am not big into parties so it saves me from having to do one at home. But I love visiting their classroom and see my child with their crown on and everything! Queen

After preschool/kindy I don't think the kids need parties in school, maybe just bring treats to lunch or something.

Purple Hug Bunny

Mon, Oct 03 2005, 4:32 pm

I voted for no before reading through the replies, now I think I'd like to change my mind..
My original no was bec. I think it invites feeling of jealousy between kids, like one kid brings a simple nash and another kid brings matching plates and stuff.
I also thought you were talking about older kids.. with younger kids maybe it's not so bad..
so I think it should be allowed but like s/one said, with guidelines.
I also love momof3's idea of doing once a month for e/one who has a birthday that month, that way noone feels left out, and it dosent have to be s/thing grand..

lucky

Thu, Oct 06 2005, 8:15 am

What about the kid that has a birthday during summer vacation? How do you explain to a 4 yr old that she can never have a birthday party in school (,and even at home,some of her friends are away for summer vacation)

Pearl

Thu, Oct 06 2005, 8:43 am

isn't she allowed to celebrate when school begins again?
this was always the case in the schools I went to, and where my kids go to, and so it should be. a child deserves this (and I should know, my bday is in summer!)

jewgal84

Thu, Oct 06 2005, 12:51 pm

Quote:

Or make one big bday party b4 the end of the school year and celebrate all the summer bdays then!

Raisin

Sun, Nov 13 2005, 10:42 am

Wow, you should see what kids where I live do fo their parties (I am on shlichus so these are not frum kids with max 3 kids in the family. One party my kids went to recently the mother had a balloon artist (probably cost about $150) Bouncy castle/ moon bounce whatever it is called - also $150 at least, and a hired entertainer with bubble machine - don't know how much they cost. There were about thirty kids there (and each guest bought a gift costing $10 - $20 or so. Food was takeaway pizza (my kids bring their own food) and junk food and 2 birthday cakes, bought from a bakery. And this is when it is at home. Often parents make the party in a cinema/soft play centre/puppet theatre. Don't want to mess up their house!

Whe I was growing up there were 20 or so kids in my class and generally everyone was invited. Better spend less money on prizes etc and invite more kids. If you make an afternoon party, not at a mealtime so justr serve snacks you can keep it simple.

I just made my daughters party today (her birthday was on simchas torah) I wish there were 20 Jewish kids her age to invite!!!! Of course I am the only parent in town who does not hire expensive entertainers, but the kids had lots of fun (I hope)