I’m chassidish and shouldn’t be on the internet AMA

amother

Papaya

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 12:46 am

amother PlumPink wrote:

that's 100% not true
I send to bobov, we write on the forms we have internet at home
as long as it's not a smartphone for the mother they are ok with it being filtered
it's really not so black & white

That is actually true. I send to bobov too and was told I must get rid of internet since not used for job , or else.....

amother

Bluebell

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 12:51 am

amother Marigold wrote:

A few points, as a fellow chassidishe woman with internet at home.

1) Al ta'amin b'atzmecha... Install a filter tomorrow. To protect yourself, your DH, and potentially your kids when they figure out how to access the internet when you're not home... Unfiltered internet is a really big nisayon which we daven every day not to come liday nisayon. A filter is a geder you can put. There's really no reason NOT to.

2) You don't need TAG. You can download Qustodio free of charge. It's a real basic filter. You can make the password where you know half of it and DH the other half so that neither of you can bypass it without the other. But honestly, I've never had a need to bypass it.

I'm chassidish with a laptop without a filter. I'd love to have a filter, but I don't want to have to beg the filter to open pages when I need to buy my daughter a bathing suit. I have zero taivah for schmutz and never watched anything I shouldn't.
Can you explain to me what's Qustodio and how much does it filter? Will it allow lingerie shop? Youtube? Baby Center?
I don't care if there is a filter in the background, and while I only have little kids, and my laptop is password/fingerprint protected, I feel it's the right thing to do. But not at the expense of my sanity.

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 1:40 am

amother Papaya wrote:

That is actually true. I send to bobov too and was told I must get rid of internet since not used for job , or else.....

I thought most chassidish schools are like this.
Internet only if need for work. Definitely not allowed for stam.

amother

Amber

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 1:47 am

amother Broom wrote:

I’m chassidish and have an unfiltered smartphone that my kids know about. We also have several laptops and a Nintendo switch. Don’t AMA because I have no time or patience for stupid questions or suggestions to send to different schools.

Lol same.

amother

Marigold

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 8:49 am

amother Bluebell wrote:

You can set the level of filtration. LIke I wrote earlier, mine is very basic and allows youtube (but no comments), lingerie shop, etc. There's no begging the filter to open pages; you're in control. In general, you can try it and if you're not happy, uninstall it.

amother

Beige

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 9:21 am

I feel like the schools won’t make an issue for certain people like the ones with money or the right last name- and those families can be “honest” and tell the schools that they have internet but the rest of us have to lie. I’m not chaseedish but I’m yeshivish and I just lie and sign the form. It’s no one’s business what I do at home. I’ve never used my internet or smartphone for anything bad but I am not interested in TAG or a filter that won’t let me look up something that I need. Ideally I want a filter for my kids and I want to find one soon- on my list of things to do but it’s harder because all we are preached about are these extreme kind of filters.

amother

Junglegreen

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 9:27 am

I don't like the point of this thread
Yes I'm chassidish and I have internet, not sure what I'm gonna do when my son starts cheder. Yes it's frustrating that we need to lie sometimes to do what we feel is right.
2 things
1. Don't ever fool yourself into thinking your kids don't know about your internet usage. They're not dumb( I hope!) And while they might not ask you outright, they know.
2. Why are you boasting? I try not to rub my phone or Internet access into anyone's faces. I know it's hard for some to tolerate so I try to keep the peace. True I'm allowed to do whatever I want, I'm not breaking Halacha, but why be so obnoxious about it?

amother

DarkPurple

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 9:40 am

same here.
I am older (not older, as in old, but older than the typical age around here, seemingly? ) and have had internet from before it was assured. I have zero interest in accessing [filth] or what not. my laptop is password protected. nobody else gets on it. My husband is an adult and even though he doesnt touch my computer, there is no way I feel that I need to be his watchdog.. if he wants to access things, he will.

Honesty is the best policy? Tell that to people who couldnt get into schools bec. they have WhatsApp. ridiculous new "prohibition" for what reason? sorry, the entire thing is idiotic.

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:16 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

I’m not boasting. It’s an AMA thread just like all others. The mom with double digit kids is boasting too? Or the BT one?
I hear you about the kids. Maybe yes, maybe no. In the long run I don’t care if they know in the end, I just don’t want the school to know.

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:17 am

amother DarkPurple wrote:

Agree. Once again, I hate that I was dishonest about it but nothing I can do.

amother

DarkYellow

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:39 am

amother OP wrote:

Kids repeat everything and can’t be trusted, believe me I know. I work in a school and you wouldn’t believe the things kids say…

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:49 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

Kids repeat everything and can’t be trusted, believe me I know. I work in a school and you wouldn’t believe the things kids say…

Agree. That’s why I don’t tell them and don’t use it in front of them. If they end up finding out when they’re older I’m okay with it. Since I don’t feel it’s wrong for a mature adult to use the internet so I don’t feel I’m doing anything wrong in yiddishkeit. It’s not like I’m mechalel Shabbos privately.