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amother

Leaf

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 4:04 pm

Op, after the excitement of your engagement wore off- were you and your friends petrified to actually get married to a strange man?

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 4:40 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

Op, after the excitement of your engagement wore off- were you and your friends petrified to actually get married to a strange man?

Most of my friends were still flying high until the wedding. The older we got we bacame mature and understanding of the big step we were taking.

I was not terrified but had a healthy dose of trepidation and excitement

YounginBP

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 4:53 pm

amother Firebrick wrote:

OP, based on your many comments, I think it is very clear you could be considered to be "Modern Satmar".

Thats funny. I'm a quite typical satmar graduate. I wear seams and a shoulder length wig. I agree with most, if not all, of what op says.
This is true about my BP family as well as my extended family in Monsey, Williamsburg and KJ

amother

Leaf

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 4:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Honestly, you sound like a very well balanced person 😊

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 4:56 pm

YounginBP wrote:

I actually am really curious what modern satmar means. I've never heard the term before.

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 5:01 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

Honestly, you sound like a very well balanced person 😊

Thanks, I try

amother

Oxfordblue

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 5:09 pm

OP, it sounds like your English education was subpar, but you communicate and write really well. How did you achieve this?

amother

Birch

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 5:15 pm

YounginBP wrote:

I agree.
I grew up in Williamsburg and now live In "gelilos" kj and wear a hat over my above shoulder / below chin length sheitel.

I mostly speak yiddish to my kids at home. But I speak enough english between my siblings and friends that my my 4 yo son understands conversational English perfectly. He also knows a lot of words that I started spelling out so that he doesn't understand
Its now useless at this point. 😅 he's figured it all out.
"c h a n y asked if s u r y can s l e e p over tonight. Would you be able to bring up the extra b e d?
Mammy, I farvus geit sury kimen tzee inzer hoize? Layg dee bet in man room!"
And I plotz cuz I wanted him to be sleep before sury comes.... LOL

but he can't speak it yet.

My dayghters teachers have asked me how my kids know English coming into first grade. My 8 yo corrected her teachers Grammer more than once. I told her it's but respectful to do it in class loudly but if she must she should do it quietly after class (she's a very "correct" kid)
Not that my Grammer or English is perfect at all. But I guess it was too off for her to tolerate. lol

I don't think I am such a unicorn. Maybe in kj it's less common but in Williamsburg, def more common. I'm not sure about bp or monsey. I'm assuming there too.

Re magazines, there are waaay more magazines in yiddish than English. The shelves are packed with a huge variety. And every few months there is a new one on the market.
We buy our kids 1 book per older kid for every shabbos mevarchim, so that's 3 per month plus for every yom tov and also yiddish magazines. The Blatt and Bina. (I rarely read the bina but my kids like the bunch) My kids read thru every single paper although yes the magazines are more geared towards boys. They still enjoy it. (Don't worry there is still enough time to bicker after that.....)

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 6:27 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

OP, it sounds like your English education was subpar, but you communicate and write really well. How did you achieve this?

I mentioned in a previous post that (atypical for the community) English was the spoken language in my home. We spoke yiddish to the little kids until about 3-4 years old, and then it was mostly English.

I also love to read and gained a lot of knowledge that way.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 9:31 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

Op, after the excitement of your engagement wore off- were you and your friends petrified to actually get married to a strange man?

Yeshivish couples are also strangers to each other when they get engaged.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 9:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

What is that supposed to mean?

It is the same idea as someone being referred to as "Modern Yeshivish". It means they are more modern than the normative Yeshivish person.

Same idea here.

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 9:51 pm

amother Firebrick wrote:

It is the same idea as someone being referred to as "Modern Yeshivish". It means they are more modern than the normative Yeshivish person.

Same idea here.

I think I'm really middle of the road Satmar. I really don't see how I'm modern. Can you please expound on how you came to this conclusion

amother

Starflower

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:07 pm

I’m also Satmar Chassidish. Satmar on this website feels like being an Orthodox Jew in the secular world. People think we’re fascinating at best or downright crazy. Anyone else Satmar chassidish or other chassidus feels this way?
In the big picture I think we’re not so different.
Yes I shave, my English is not perfect, I don’t drive, my husband wears a shtreimel and shoulder length peyos.
BUT
I try to be a good person, I love my family, friends and chocolate, I love Hashem and try to follow his will, I wish the best for the people I love, I make mistakes, I try to be honest, happy, see the good in other people and so much more just like most of you hear on the site.
Aren’t we similar after all?

amother

Taupe

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:22 pm

amother Starflower wrote:

100%
except for the chocolate;-)
and the shaving (though I do shave my legs) and the driving and the shtreimel (my husband wears a black hat - shtreimel is way more elegant)

amother

Cornsilk

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:47 pm

I might be biased (ok I am biased) but, it is well known in the heimish corporate world that Satmar girls have unique talent and ability.

I’ve heard this from bosses in BP, Williamsburg and Monsey.

Some are even runaway Satmar People but reverted to Satmar employees because of their capabilities.

Not writing this to flaunt anything
but to point out our education is just as good as anyone else’s if you want it to be.

amother

Starflower

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 10:56 pm

amother Cornsilk wrote:

Same for the men’s side of the room. My husband spoke English poorly when we got married. He opened a well grounded business in shana rishona and is doing great bh.

emee2

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:41 am

amother OP wrote:

I think I'm really middle of the road Satmar. I really don't see how I'm modern. Can you please expound on how you came to this conclusion

I am not the one that said that but I don’t think you are “modern satmar” I think ppl have an idea of what satmar is and since you are not that then you then you are modern. I personally consider myself “modern chassidish” I drive, I have Netflix and a smart phone, I went to university and encourage my children to do so too but at the same time we are very connected to our chassidus and live according to that derech. I do not consider modern chassidish to be negative but somehow the term modern satmar sounds bad to me 🤷🏽‍♀️.

amother

Trillium

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 5:56 am

My question went unanswered and garnered no sympathetic responses
So I will post again and hope to receive a response.
Is there a judgmental attitude in terms of tznius, especially towards others who aren’t chassidish?
Amongst each other you noted it’s “horror” if you wear black stockings, and that thin stockings aren’t acceptable. No problem but…
Regarding other Jews - are you ok with their level of tznius and aware of the standard basic Halacha in terms of what applies to them? Hold them as keeping “lower” than you?
My SIL is satmar and hurt me before when it came to tznius by calling me nebach. It was not appropriate especially as we were secluded in a place where there was a very slim chance of men coming.
No fake responses, please be real

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 8:08 am

emee2 wrote:

How is it possible to say you "live according to the derech" of your chasidus if you admit to watching movies, having unfiltered internet, going to non-Jewish schools and encouraging your children to do all of the same of these?! This sounds more like cognitive dissonance.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Oct 06 2023, 8:10 am

amother Trillium wrote:

How can one justify dropping their full level of tznius based on the idea that the chance men will see them is only slim? And, perhaps, what you are assuming is an okay but only a "lower" level of tznius is really not so okay objectively.

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