Should kids be encouraged to be nosei ol

amother

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:03 pm

I am hearing speeches from rabbi in saying that we should encourage kids to abstain from treats or take on more davening due to the situation. I’m wondering how much this should be encouraged and other people’s opinions if this leads to more anxiety.

amother

Pear

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:04 pm

I think there's a value in teaching them they can help by davening or taking on a kabbalah, but to suffer for the sake of suffering is unnecessary

amother

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:06 pm

amother Pear wrote:

I think there's a value in teaching them they can help by davening or taking on a kabbalah, but to suffer for the sake of suffering is unnecessary

Exactly what I was thinking. Wondering if it’s a thing to tell kids less nosh because of war. Sounds mean to me. Maybe I myself will take this on but not to tell this to kids

amother

Rose

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:06 pm

I think davening is ok. Their tefillos are special and necessary at this time. Depending on the age maybe saying we should be in some sort of mourning is appropriate.

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:08 pm

I think it’s ok for *us* to have less gashmius in some area and share that with them. Be the model for when they’re older.
Let’s put our money where our mouth is.
I was so touched by Hodeez post about cutting nails short on motzei chag I’d share that with my kids. So impactful.

amother

Feverfew

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:24 pm

R Bender says they should take on something small that they decide on on their own like 1 pillow instead of 2 or 2 snacks instead of 3.
https://darchei.wistia.com/medias/7smbu6nmng

amother

Blushpink

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:31 pm

My kids school had a tehillim conference yesterday & today the principal introduced a tehillim & kabbalah tovah program. It has to be done in a smart way to not cause them anxiety.
The principal also spoke about that they shouldn't look at pictures or videos as sensitivity for the victims. She put it down in a child friendly sensitive way. I'm quite impressed.
I don't think having kids abstain from treats, gives over the right message.

amother

Magnolia

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:32 pm

I don’t understand that at all. Maybe to be more kind (even that I don’t see why we should be saying- Us adults should work on ourselves and lead by example) but to have less snacks???? How does that help anything at all? It can confuse kids. Makes it seem like there is some correlation between horrible things going on and too many snacks…

amother

Pansy

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:42 pm

A parent should be smart enough to know their child

some children (& adults ) take this concept next level and are super sensitive to the point where they start falling apart from carrying other people's stress

Some children can use a lesson seeing Beyond their own dolid omos

amother

Pewter

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:42 pm

It’s not a correlation between too many snacks and bad things. How do you explain the 3 weeks, etc to them?

I am treating it the same way. Not my little ones, but yes, the ones who can understand.

amother

Pewter

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 6:45 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

That sounds really bizarre to me . Encourage tehillim, mitzvos , being kind to others . No snacks ?? Scratching Head

Not “no snacks”. LESS snacks.

amother

Blushpink

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 7:03 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

It’s not a correlation between too many snacks and bad things. How do you explain the 3 weeks, etc to them?

I am treating it the same way. Not my little ones, but yes, the ones who can understand.

I don't make my kids have less snacks in the 3 weeks either.... to kids, this feels like a punishment & doesn't have anything to do with the situation in Israel.

amother

Blushpink

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 7:04 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

Not “no snacks”. LESS snacks.

To kids, it's a punishment & doesn't teach them anything regarding the situation.

amother

IndianRed

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 7:41 pm

Why would we have our kids suffer, why not empower them to help the situation, they can do any mitzvah they love to do and dedicate it

Good Friend

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 7:52 pm

amother IndianRed wrote:

Why would we have our kids suffer, why not empower them to help the situation, they can do any mitzvah they love to do and dedicate it

Exactly. We are fighting the war with our davening and Tehillim and the kids are doing the same. My kids have participated in several of the rallies organized for Torah Tfila and Tzedaka especially for kids. My own children and my students have each chosen a mitzva to do better in. When they davening they do it extra nicely and ask Hashem to make the way stop and Moshiach come. This is how we do our part.

cbsp

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 8:12 pm

It really must be a generational thing (not knocking, just observing)

Growing up we knew that in the 3 weeks and for sure tisha b'av we didn't get treats. It wasn't viewed as a punishment at all, it helped us feel as part of klal Yisroel (we also fasted after seudas hamafsekes till morning... I remember that as young as 4).

We weren't deprived, just not over treated. So pretzels, popcorn were most likely fine, but not actual candies or other exciting nosh.

I tried to have it in mind when sending snacks for school today. Not the fancy cake, rather a healthy muffin, etc.

mra01385

Tue, Oct 10 2023, 8:18 pm

The idea of having less snacks or less treats is to show that we are feeling the pain a little bit of those children in Israel who are currently suffering. Just like the children in Israel are suffering and scared from all that is going on and wish they too could have snacks and treats, our children should try feel a little bit of their pain as well and try to imagine and be aware what they are going through. No It’s not a punishment. It teaches kids empathy and to think about someone else’s pain.

It’s like if a child is allergic to dairy then if the class is having an ice cream party they should serve pareve ice cream so the child who is allergic to dairy won’t feel bad and singled out that he is the only one who has to have a different ice cream.