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Forum
-> Pregnancy & Childbirth
-> Baby Names
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:02 pm
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I just went through a very hard pregnancy, had baby, didn't really think of names before hand (which I now regret), mother gave me ideas right after birth, I wanted to do kibud aim, dh was fine with it, I so regret it now, it's so not fair! I'm having such a hard time bonding with baby as well because no connection to name, I should be so thankful, but I'm in tears!ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
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amother
Yellow
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Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:09 pm
I'm so so sorry. mazel tov on the baby. is this your first? mood swings, tears, disconnect is so normal in the early days postpartum.
I gave a name I really didnt like and I got so used to it and it suits my baby so well. it's very likely you will come to terms with it and learn to like or at least be ok with it.
is there any version or nickname you can use for now?
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amother
Chocolate
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Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:17 pm
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My mother tried guilting me into giving a name too. It’s very upsetting. Add to that sleep deprivation and hormones and it’s a recipe for disaster. I wish more people would realize that kibud av veim does not include baby names in any way.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:17 pm
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Not my first! Have a few at home!
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amother
DarkKhaki
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Fri, Sep 01 2023, 12:31 am
| amother Chocolate wrote: | | My mother tried guilting me into giving a name too. It’s very upsetting. Add to that sleep deprivation and hormones and it’s a recipe for disaster. I wish more people would realize that kibud av veim does not include baby names in any way. |
That's wrong.
Please stop spreading this erroneous message. It's incredibly self-centered.
Yes, the parents are the only ones who get to choose a name.
However, it's a minhag yisrael, by both Ashkenazim and Sephardim, to honor their relatives by naming after them, each group according to its custom.
You absolutely DO NOT have to name after a relative or to honor a parent, but if you do, you absolutely do fulfill the mitzvah of kibbud av v'eim.
Now back to the OP.
OP, you had no idea what to name your baby and you tried to figure that out as best as you could at the time you did. It was meant to be. You shouldn't feel guilty or sad.
I didn't love my baby's name right away. But the more I used it, the more I did. Also, the older she got, the more personality she gained and I associated it with her name. Now I love it.
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amother
Cherry
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Fri, Sep 01 2023, 2:27 am
| amother DarkKhaki wrote: | That's wrong.
Please stop spreading this erroneous message. It's incredibly self-centered.
Yes, the parents are the only ones who get to choose a name.
However, it's a minhag yisrael, by both Ashkenazim and Sephardim, to honor their relatives by naming after them, each group according to its custom.
You absolutely DO NOT have to name after a relative or to honor a parent, but if you do, you absolutely do fulfill the mitzvah of kibbud av v'eim.
Now back to the OP.
OP, you had no idea what to name your baby and you tried to figure that out as best as you could at the time you did. It was meant to be. You shouldn't feel guilty or sad.
I didn't love my baby's name right away. But the more I used it, the more I did. Also, the older she got, the more personality she gained and I associated it with her name. Now I love it. |
Chocolate wasn't saying that naming after relatives isn't kibud av vaeim. Shes saying that taking your parents advice/suggestion/idea about what to name your child is not included in kibud av vaeim. Which is true.
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LovesHashem
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Fri, Sep 01 2023, 2:46 am
| amother DarkKhaki wrote: | That's wrong.
Please stop spreading this erroneous message. It's incredibly self-centered.
Yes, the parents are the only ones who get to choose a name.
However, it's a minhag yisrael, by both Ashkenazim and Sephardim, to honor their relatives by naming after them, each group according to its custom.
You absolutely DO NOT have to name after a relative or to honor a parent, but if you do, you absolutely do fulfill the mitzvah of kibbud av v'eim.
Now back to the OP.
OP, you had no idea what to name your baby and you tried to figure that out as best as you could at the time you did. It was meant to be. You shouldn't feel guilty or sad.
I didn't love my baby's name right away. But the more I used it, the more I did. Also, the older she got, the more personality she gained and I associated it with her name. Now I love it. |
Please provide the source in halacha ans Gemara where the chiyuv of kibud am vaim includes baby names.
This is so so untrue. Parents have ruach hakodesh when naming a baby. They and Hashem are the only partners in having a baby
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amother
Aqua
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Mon, Oct 16 2023, 9:34 pm
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I have a name that makes me very emotional (I came up with it). My mother likes the name, but doesn’t know yet for sure that’s her name.
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