Husband and I disagree

Brit in Israel

Thu, Oct 19 2023, 7:24 am

OP does your husband usually help chose clothing and you like it?
Or is this a first for him?
Did you try all the same styles in the store or different fabrics and shapes?
It really depends on what say he usually will have for clothing, If you decide to go with something he doesn't like make sure to double check with someone else it looks good on you

With me my husband has a better eye and fashion sense than me, and 99% of times will follow his advice and I love it that way.
If I want something he doesn't I still can and occasionally will.

amother

Thu, Oct 19 2023, 12:29 pm

NechaMom wrote:

How is this helpful?
What if she wants a different color, length or collar style than him?

I mean it didn't really tell me anything I didn't know already.

I don't really understand, the only person I have to "impress" with my appearance is my husband, why shouldn't his opinion matter? He may not understand most of women's fashion, but he's not completely clueless.

I have a figure that is hard to fit in today's fashion world where the secular world wants to show off a big bust, and frum clothing denies it exists, but it should be possible to get a dress that is flattering no matter what size. So I have to make myself something, but that means I get to incorporate elements that I want, but if my husband doesn't like it, then what's the point?

amother

Thu, Oct 19 2023, 12:30 pm

Brit in Israel wrote:

Not a first, and it was just a few dresses, I was more surprised when I thought there was something that I thought was VERY flattering, and he thought the exact opposite.

imaima

Thu, Oct 19 2023, 11:45 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

I understand what you are saying, but I am responding SPECIFICALLY to OP.

Do we want her to have a happy Shalom bayis, or to now be angry at her husband for "overstepping"?

What's our goal? it's a jewish site, we're not just a bunch of clucking yentas. let's help OP.

literally no one's marriage is the same. in this case, her husband had an opinion. too late, she asked for it and she got it. now she has to decide what to do.

So why should she davka go against his opinion now? let her be comfortable and JOYFUL that she's going to find another beautiful dress for her shalom bayis and look gorgeous!!

Because she will -- and I hope the fact that I do this on the regular will give her chizuk Smile

It doesn’t help op to always forego her own preferences in marriage especially when it comes to the way she looks.
It backfires in the long run and will make her feel resentful and it will ruin her shalom bayis in the end.

Because you don’t know for a fact that her dh will buy her expensive clothes that he likes, or will her give her a budget of 50 bucks but also nix all her options too. Because these husbands are out there too.

Brit in Israel

Thu, Oct 19 2023, 11:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Not a first, and it was just a few dresses, I was more surprised when I thought there was something that I thought was VERY flattering, and he thought the exact opposite.

If it's a matter of flattering ask someone else. If they go with you saying it's flattering and you really want that style then ask your husband if he will still be ok with you going ahead with it, as it will make you feel good with yourself.
It could be he is having difficulty imagining it all together if it's a custom piece.