Does everyone give presents?

Tao

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:24 pm

We give presents because my kids are too young to understand money. To them money is something that goes in the tzedaka box. They don't understand that it has value to buy things.
If my kids were older I would do money.

amother

Wine

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:44 pm

We're out of town yeshivish/jpf...
Every night after we light we dance and then do something as a family before or after supper depending on what it is. One night is a food thing, one night is a family game, one night is a craft etc. So we usually have one night that's a new book and one night that's a new game/toy. The toy/game is not usually for each kid but something that they can all share. Our oldest is 6... it's not a "chanukah present" exactly... but just a way that we make chanukah family time extra special.

amother

Olive

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 8:47 pm

Yeshivish (from Lakewood) here.
We do presents, my husbands family and my family also all do presents

doctorima

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 9:00 pm

bsimcharabba wrote:

Any specific reason for 5th night?

I heard that Rav Chaim Kanievsky said he used to get Chanuka gelt on the 5th night (from his father the Steipler) because the 5th night never falls on Shabbos.

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 9:07 pm

Chassidish. My parents gave gifts and up to $5 gelt until bar/bas mitzvah. After bar/bas mitzvah, they only gave money but they gave more - starting at $20, going up to $50 depending on their financial situation that year

amother

Foxglove

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 9:07 pm

Chassidish. I don’t give Chanukah gifts. Mil does. My parents gave gelt to older kids. Gifts for younger elementary

effess

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 9:37 pm

Gelt here only.

We visited an old age home one Chanukah and these little old ladies who knew nothing about anything with menorah and dreidel knew that you give kids gelt.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 9:43 pm

I grew up with only gelt.

But when we had kids, to make it exciting we started with a combo of the two- whatever works best that year with that age.

Now we try for each night an activity or treat or gift or gelt etc. (all budgeted pretty low because my kids don't care about money anyway bh).

amother

Charcoal

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 10:03 pm

We do presents. Not one each night but when we see each side of the family they get and one night we give.

synthy

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 11:15 pm

Chassidish, we always got presents from our parents and grandmothers, and the grandfather gave gelt. I think most families in my circle give presents.

amother

Lemonlime ↓

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 11:42 pm

I just wanted to chime in here and say that I grew up with no gifts. BT parents who thought it was Chukas Hagoyim. But we didn’t get gelt. While I understood, it was always hard to feel on the sidelines.
When I got married DH and I felt the same way and didn’t do gifts for our kids, but we tried to make it fun each night. Then, one Chanukah, we saw someone we respect very much giving their kids gifts, and we asked them about the whole thing. They showed us a source for giving kids actual gifts on Chanukah. I have a picture of the Sefer somewhere. Since then we do try to give gifts. I’m happy for my kids to get and I’m happy that I’m doing so without doing something ‘wrong’.

shabbatiscoming ↓

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 11:45 pm

bsimcharabba wrote:

Does everyone give chanukah presents to their kids? I’m not asking from a financial standpoint… curious about hashkafa. Does anyone say it’s chukas hagoyim?
My husband mentioned that and it sounds interesting.
Chassidish?
Yeshivish?
I know modox does (or at least doesn’t have a problem with it)
Again, NOT talking financials here.

Grew up modox. Presents were not a thing. And we, my husband and I, are not ok with it.
Please dont assume.

I think presents became big in the last 15-20 years. It just was not a thing when I was growing up.

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Sun, Nov 05 2023, 11:47 pm

bsimcharabba wrote:

If you don’t give your kids presents, how do you explain it to them?

I would say its a x-mas thing, not a jewish thing. Thats it.
I dont really understand why presents became a thing for chanuka. Its not like that for any other chag.

amother

Cantaloupe

Mon, Nov 06 2023, 3:23 am

The root of chanukah is chinuch . We give kids money to encourage them to learn better as well as teachers to thank them for mechanchim our children..
Somone mentioned the fifth night.
The fifth night which can never fall on shabbos , hence the more " dark "it is . It Is a time to have family gatherings share words of Torah as well as kids share something they learn to light up that night more, therefor the custom is to give more on that day.

salt

Mon, Nov 06 2023, 4:22 am

We don't give chanuka presents. My kids get enough gifts, birthdays, etc.

They do usually get chanuka gelt from grandparents though.

↑ bsimcharabba ↓

Mon, Nov 06 2023, 7:31 am

amother Lemonlime wrote:

What Sefer is it in?

Mayflower

Mon, Nov 06 2023, 7:40 am

I'm so surprised so many people don't give presents. We usually give gelt for the older kids but presents for the younger ones. I hardly know anyone IRL who doesn't give any presents...

amother

Pearl

Mon, Nov 06 2023, 7:42 am

bsimcharabba wrote:

My great grandmother a"h told me that in Europe before the war, when she was a young girl, they had Chanukah parties with the whole extended family getting together, and the kids got presents, while the older kids got Chanukah gelt.
So this is not some new Americanized idea like many people think.
We are chassidish and this grandmother was from Hungary.