Age appropriate? | Imamother

amother

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 11:13 am

DD 12 was playing house and I found her with pillows stuffed in her belly pretending she's pregnant. I feel like she's way too old for that. Is that age appropriate?

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 11:14 am

Yes I can see my same age DD doing that if she's playing with younger siblings. Not really something she would do with friends though.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 11:17 am

I remember my older sister standing in front of the mirror trying to look preg. I don't remember how old she was but she's five years older than me and I was old enough to understand that it was a bit funny. So she was most definitely older than 12.
It's a type. I would never do it, she would. She's totally normal Very Happy

amother

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 11:33 am

amother Slateblue wrote:

Yes I can see my same age DD doing that if she's playing with younger siblings. Not really something she would do with friends though.

She was with her friends, is that an issue?

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 12:09 pm

I think it depends on the context, what were her friends doing, and what other behaviors she exhibits.
Perhaps they were being nostalgic?
Or playing out a scene they were curious about?
I wouldnt say anything but keep eyes open..

amother

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 12:29 pm

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

I'm pregnant and she recently had a lot of questions about it, so she was just exploring. I guess I'm scared she's going to explore further, why should it stop there. I also found it odd that she was doing it with her friends, they were playing along.

amother

Dimgray

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 12:40 pm

My 11 year old does it all the time. I remember doing it even older Hiding

I don’t think it’s concerning at all. She’s a female and will iyh be expecting one day. It’s a natural curiosity.

amother

Purple

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 12:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

It sounds like you are concerned about 2 different things:
1. Her knowing about how pregnancy works.
2. Playing pregnant is age appropriate.

For the first, she is old enough to know how pregnancy works and if you havent taught her already then it might be time before she learns it elsewhere.
For the second, it is very normal and I don't really know why playing with her friends would be more concerning.

amother

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 1:01 pm

amother Purple wrote:

We've talked about how it works and I told her she can ask, she's been asking me a lot of questions lately and I answer them all. She told me when she sees my preg belly she thinks about what we've talked about and then she just has more questions.
I mean that I'm scared that if she's playing pregnancy I don't need her playing other things.

But if you're all pretty much saying that it's age appropriate then I'm calmer so thank you.

amother

Mimosa

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 2:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

As long as she knows she can come to you when she has questions then that sounds like normal exploring and normal play

amother

Darkblue

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 4:54 pm

I did it with friends until I was older than her (and I turned out normal). It is something normal for girls to see in their families or at friends (having a pregnant mom), so it is a normal thing to act out, just like playing house. I wouldn't worry at all.

amother

Catmint

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 5:01 pm

I did it plenty all through childhood. I really wanted to have kids!!! It was really just
... me wishing that it could come true some day. I don't see the worry🤷🏼‍♀️

amother

Mint

Sun, Nov 26 2023, 9:10 pm

It seems you’re worried they’ll end up playing doctor. Pretending to be pregnant is totally regular, playing doctor she’s too old for I think. You can always talk to her about the importance of keeping her body private. Don’t mention the fake pregnant belly though because it’s not at all related.

amother

Charcoal

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 12:00 am

My 12 year old daughter hasn't played house for a few years already, unless she's playing along with my toddlers. I could see her and her friends joking around and putting pillows under their shirt to look pregnant lol

amother

Currant

Mon, Nov 27 2023, 4:33 am

I agree with all of the above. Pregnancy is a pretty public thing, especially in communities where it's discussed (which is seems like yours is). So I think it's a normal part of playing. Sounds like you're worried she's going to also act out how the baby got there. But I don't think that's really connected for kids. Does she know about that? Were her questions recently related to that or to the pregnancy itself?

Or are you worried she's going to act out the baby coming out in an inappropriate way? If that's the case, I would think you can remind her to keep her body private, or however you usually discuss appropriate boundaries. But pillows in the shirt sounds perfectly acceptable to me.