Would you consider me frum if I listened to recorded music..

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Would you consider me frum if I listened to recorded music during the 3 weeks?

Yes

66%

[ 28 ]

[ 1 ]

Yes, but you need to grow

30%

[ 13 ]

Total Votes : 42

Zus

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 7:43 am

I would consider you not frum if you know something is *assur* and you davka choose to ignore it.

cassandra

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 7:53 am

mumoo wrote:

if a matter was a machlokes, wouldn't a Rov then tell you how he poskins? Isn't that why you ask your Rov?

I have gotten psakim like that before-- the Rav relies on the individual's feeling so he allows that person to determine for himself, in a specific situation, whether that person needs to rely on the kula. Not for everything of course, but occasionally.

costanza

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 9:51 am

Other than my kids and husband, music is one of the things that gives me the most pleasure. Every year I kvetch during sefirah and the 3 weeks (I often joke, oh, we can't do that - it's the 365 days!) about how hard it is. I hate switching to talk radio. But then someone pointed out to me that that is exactly the point of not listening. We are supposed to be focusing on the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash and are in a state of mourning. For me, not listening to music reminds me of that all the time. And it does affect my mood. And I hate it.

I don't think you're less frum.

amother

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 10:45 am

People shouldn't be judging you based on that.

Also, Chaim Berliners listen to recorded music.

amother

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 11:14 am

I cannot believe that everyone keeps answering this question. Did you READ it? shock

I, for one, would consider you "not frum" if you didn't keep Shabbos and Kosher (and other basic mitzvot); Not if you listened to music during the three weeks.

Frum
adj. religious; observant (Yes, years ago in Europe Frum meant Pious and Righteous, but now it is anyone who observes the mitzvot is frum)

Maybe something like "do you think I'm doing the wrong thing by listening to music during the 3 weeks?"

I am saddened that people think they have the right to decide when a person (aside from themselves) needs to work on themselves. I do understand that she gave it as an option, but it still saddens me. We need to learn to stop worrying about other people's religious level and worry about our own.

I just wanted to express this.

To the OP - good luck with whatever you decide.

(You are all welcome to bash me for posting anonymously)

Mrs. XYZ

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 11:24 am

Amother, I dont understand you.
The op asked a question. She obviously thinks there might be something wrong with it. Should nobody have answered her thread? Or only the people who think there is absolutely nothing wrong? Nobody (ok, besides for one) said that shes not frum.

amother

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 12:52 pm

Mrs XYZ

I'm sorry if it came out wrong. I didn't mean why are you answering this question. Rather, how could nobody be bothered by the phrasing.

Quote:

Maybe something like "do you think I'm doing the wrong thing by listening to music during the 3 weeks?"

My point was not to hurt the poster, but to make a very different point.

I apologize again if I have hurt anyone by my post.

amother

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 1:48 pm

But I am a BT who listens to music during the 3 weeks. Will people trust my kashrus?? I feel BTs are held to a higher standard and are judged harder than FTBs and FFBs!!

momto7

Mon, Aug 04 2008, 6:05 pm

how would anyone know if you listen to music or not?

Chocoholic

Mon, Aug 04 2008, 6:11 pm

I don't really care about What Other People (Might) Think. That's something I really don't like about modern day Judaism. I only really care about what Tatty thinks.

momto7

Mon, Aug 04 2008, 6:31 pm

I didn't mean to say that it's right or wrong because someone would or wouldn't know. you mentioned that FFB's and FTB's are looked upon differently and everyone judges BT's so I wanted to know how anyone can judge about this one?

amother

Thu, Aug 07 2008, 4:21 pm

THIS SHOULD BE DISCUSSED WITH A PROMINENT RAV Idea

.
NOT WOMEN.
WHAT DO U WANT TO HEAR?
YES, YOURE FRUM! YOURE A TZEDEKES!
NO! YOURE NOT CONSIDERED FRUM SO KEEP AWAY & START DOING THINGS WRONG.

cassandra

Thu, Aug 07 2008, 4:33 pm

She had a psak that it was ok, but she wanted to know if it was a cultural faux pas. Got it?

Clarissa

Thu, Aug 07 2008, 5:01 pm

I THINK IT WOULD BE MORE COMPREHENSIBLE IF YOU SCREAMED ALL IN CAPS.

cassandra

Thu, Aug 07 2008, 5:12 pm

DULY NOTED.

greenfire

Thu, Aug 07 2008, 6:06 pm

to be sure frum is between you and Hashem ... why would you even consider music as the segway to being frum or not anyways ?!?!?!

rainbow baby

Thu, Aug 07 2008, 6:54 pm

I was told by my Rov that if you need to listen to non live music to help you, you may but privately. Because for some people music is like a medicine and helps a person. I actually asked well my brother asked for me as he was learning with his Rov about the laws of the year of moarning wish we are going through at the moment. One week I was going through the worst week so far since my father died before he died I was a real music person would have it on so loud in the kitchen dancing and singing yeah you can laugh, well anyway I was so depressed after speaking to my brother he said that he had learned that if a person needs music to help them they can listen to it even during the year of moarning and even the three weeks as it is a medicine. Bh since then I have picked up and not needed to listen or had the urge to listen but it is a fall back if I need it for the next 6 months. Speak to your Rov that is my advice and to tell you the truth I would not worry about what other people think you know what you need and can cope with just speak to your Rov and explain to him how you are feeling and what you are going through, after all a Rov is not a mind reader so you need to be truthful. Hope this makes sense!!!!

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