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Forum
-> Parenting our children
Would you send your child to a babysitter they don't know overnight?
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| Never |
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90% |
[ 192 ] |
| I have done this and would never do it again |
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2% |
[ 6 ] |
| Yes |
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6% |
[ 13 ] |
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| Total Votes : 211 |
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:25 am
Imamother posters have a strong opposition to sending a baby to an overnight babysitter who they are unfamiliar with, with most posters suggesting it is child cruelty.
While I understand that ideal, IRL people I know send their kids away after a baby, when they need to go away due to a family simcha or emergency, and sometimes for a vacation.
I wonder how rare that is.
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amother
Ghostwhite
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:29 am
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This might be community dependent. I’ve never heard of this before imamother, I don’t know anyone who’s done this and would never consider doing this. I’m RWMO
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8
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amother
NeonPurple
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:30 am
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Outside your community it is rare to the point of being unheard of and shocking.
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hodeez
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:31 am
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Never have, never had to. Wouldn't judge if it was absolutely necessary, but do think it's very hard for the child
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amother
Mulberry
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:35 am
My mother is traumatized from being dropped off at random people’s houses while her parents went on vacation. People she had never met before, some of whom the fathers really scared and intimidated her.
Her parents had 12 children and when they needed a mental health break, they’d just dump them at a babysitter they’d never met before. I would also do crazy things like that if I had 12 kids, you have to be a certain type of person to handle that many kids without losing your mind. That’s why I’m on birth control and plan to have way fewer kids spread apart, like my mother chose to do.
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giftedmom
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:37 am
I’ve done it with toddlers and one year olds. Wouldn’t do it again with a one year old but would with a two year old.
On the advice of a therapist the last time I did it I explained what was going to happen and the child really understood, to the babysitters amazement. They kept repeating “mommy is coming back”. It was an eye opening experience.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:37 am
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To clarify, I'm referring to a baby/toddler, not an older kid.
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amother
Offwhite
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:39 am
| hodeez wrote: | | Never have, never had to. Wouldn't judge if it was absolutely necessary, but do think it's very hard for the child |
Same here. I voted never as I was never in a situation that I had to do it bh. But never say never.
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notshanarishona
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:39 am
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Only had to do this when I was in the hospital but definitely last resort
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amother
Clover
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:39 am
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It’s not done in my community. People either come right home after the hospital or go to their parents- along with all of their other kids.
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amother
Jean
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:40 am
I would NEVER. Im chassidish.
(I know people who do.)
Eta: never as in out of my free will. Emergencies excluded.
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chatz
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:41 am
No I wouldn't.
But never is too strong. Life throws you curve balls. If there is a true emergency, possibly.
Vacation is not an emergency.
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amother
Sand
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:42 am
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When I was in high school I was a counselor in a camp of 2 yo and one of the mothers asked me to do an overnight babysitting job since her daughter knew who I was. It was an absolute disaster. Yes I had been her camp counselor for 2 weeks but she did not like me coming to her house and feeding her dinner, putting her to sleep and her parents weren't anywhere to be found. She basically cried the whole time and hated me for the rest of the summer. Before then she wasn't a particularly uptight kid. Not trying to scare anyone but I would be very hesitant to leave a little kid with anyone they don't know really well (grandparents, aunt, etc) or spend a lot of time in their house like a close neighbor
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amother
Offwhite
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:42 am
| chatz wrote: | No I wouldn't.
But never is too strong. Life throws you curve balls. If there is a true emergency, possibly.
Vacation is not an emergency. |
Vacation may very well be an emergency. May hashem never test you.
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amother
Clover
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:42 am
| chatz wrote: | No I wouldn't.
But never is too strong. Life throws you curve balls. If there is a true emergency, possibly.
Vacation is not an emergency. |
Right. I don’t think the OP is asking about emergency situations.
I mean there’s not really anything else you can do in an emergency. The responsible thing to do would be to leave them with a babysitter.
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amother
Natural
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:53 am
I'm MO and while it's considered totally fine to go away for a bit without your kids (including toddlers) I don't know anyone who would do it without extensive arrangements with family or VERY close friends. I know 2 families that did leave their kids with a babysitter for a few days, but in that case it was in their own home with the full time in-home nanny who had been taking care of the kids for years. It wasn't a random babysitter or even a daily drop off babysitter/daycare.
My mom watches my kids once a year so me and dh can get away for a few days. She always stays at our house and I do hire a babysitter to come every day to help her out.
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amother
Jasmine
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:54 am
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In an emergency like something life threatening.
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amother
Royalblue
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:56 am
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Iv’e only ever sent a toddler to an overnight babysitter when I was in the hospital and I didn’t send to a stranger. I would never do that I think it’s too scary for them.
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amother
Maroon
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 11:58 am
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Never... Although I am also wary of any babysitters, I try not to use anyone I don't know well, even if that means hardly getting a babysitter.
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honey36
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Tue, Dec 05 2023, 12:28 pm
Do people really send to a babysitter that child has no idea who they are overnight? Like never ever met them before? As I understood it from other threads regarding people who send kids away overnight, it's more commonly the same babysitter they use during the day so child is very familiar with them, or they will at the very very least have a few meetings with the child before the overnight sleepover etc.
Actually my babysitter does offer overnight services. I never used that service because didn't feel I need to, but not because I felt it would be traumatic to the baby. She was a great and loving sitter. Baby napped there during the day also, so familiar with the crib etc. I don't see a difference between this situation vs sending to a loving bubby/aunt overnight in terms of the babies view of things. I would actually prefer this than sending to my mom/sister since I am paying for the service so won't feel bad I'm taking a favor from someone.
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