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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Gladiolus

Sat, Dec 23 2023, 10:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Since this is anonymous can you please elaborate a little more? I know no one there to ask...

Sure! this a large school which is bh growing every year. I would not necessarily consider it a ‘small OOT school’.

Also, when I was dealing with similar issues with one of my children we were offered very little if any resources from the school. I would do a lot more research on what help would be available for your daughter beforehand.

I wish you Hatzalah in finding the right place for her!

amother

Hosta

Sat, Dec 23 2023, 10:56 pm

If you were in NY, a lot of the services you are paying for would be provided by the board of education.

amother

Sat, Dec 23 2023, 11:43 pm

amother Royalblue wrote:

I do some of their graphics. Montessori is about - iiuc - independent learning at each child's own pace and level. They teach in a different way than a typical school to encourage that learning. There's also no 1st grade 2nd grade etc, they're in levels and each level is a few years.

Their website should have some info that might help, but I think you can call and talk to them and they'd be happy to answer all questions. The staff I've dealt with are really nice people.

And back to answer your Eta, it's very possible but it's also possible that they'll make one when the students there are ready for one. It's really worth talking to them to find out what they have to say.

And Eta that I messaged my client to ask what he thinks about if it would be a good fit, as well as to ask about any high school plans. I'll update if I can.

Thanks so much!!

amother

Sat, Dec 23 2023, 11:53 pm

amother Hosta wrote:

If you were in NY, a lot of the services you are paying for would be provided by the board of education.

I realize that but since I don't live in NY if I were to move there I want to make sure all the parts are aligned. I need for the schools for my different kids to work out...

amother

Cappuccino

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 12:03 am

The chedar or Hillel of passaic, Clifton might work .
Usually more out of town have less strict social rules

amother

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 12:20 am

amother Cappuccino wrote:

The chedar or Hillel of passaic, Clifton might work .
Usually more out of town have less strict social rules

Who said anything about social rules? My kid has social skills deficits so has trouble with peer interactions, trouble making friends. She is great at following school rules.

amother

Steelblue

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 12:55 am

I did not read all replies, excuse me if I'm repeating.
I worked as a shadow in a 4th grade class to help 1 specific girl with social issues. She was academically above average. But she had social issues. No one ever said a negative word to her when I was around and even when I wasn't there, because they got OUT of the habit that she can be bullied.
Maybe you can get a shadow to sit there the whole time and teach the other girls how to be nice to her and understanding.
The entire class came to like me. I worked in a very smart way. I sometimes took out the girl I was working with together with another classmate to play a game together. that was a major treat and only girls who were nice to her got a chance to come out during class to play with her. I sometimes bought for the whole class a treat for being nice.. Kids are kids, they can be very mean, but with positive reinforcement they learned to be nice to her and to include her in games they played during recess.

amother

Steel

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 1:31 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you!
Can you please tell me a little more about the school? Not too familiar with Montessori. Will it stop kids from being able to one day function in a classroom?

I am OK with out of town. As long as a shul, school for my kids, mikvah and food. I don't need a lot of amenities or huge community.

ETA- doesn't seem to be a frum high school 😕. Is that true?

Having dealt with many kids who started in Montessori, yes it's difficult for them to function in a regular classroom later on even at college level.

amother

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 2:12 am

amother Steelblue wrote:

Shadow is not an option...
What I really want is to find a new school...

TwinsMommy

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 2:18 am

I wish I had advice. I just have experience and sympathy. My son is almost 17 and EXTREMELY 2E. I have a daughter who is 2E also, but she's much closer to neurotypical both on the special ed side AND on the gifted side---- she's only taking one AP class at a time in high school and is challenged enough in most regular classes for example. Public school works well for her. Jewish schools wouldn't handle her, but she fits into the box that public school can serve. She has adhd and autism and some physical stuff but it's kind of under control at school--- she masks well.

My son----- we tried public school through the beginning of 4th grade. They were GREAT with the gifted aspect. In first grade they had him taking 4th grade math. They were able to do gifted pullout sessions with him as soon as official gifted services began and worked with him individually BEFORE that was even allowed. They couldn't handle his behaviors. They expelled him at the beginning of 4th.

We tried a behavior school (special ed but specifically for kids expelled from public for behaviors) from 4th through 10th. They were GREAT with the social skills/ behavioral aspect. They couldn't handle academics. Not only did they refuse to bring in higher curriculum, they wouldn't even have him doing regular grade level stuff. Using math as an example--- If the other 6th graders were doing "menu math" then he was doing "menu math". He was starting algebra at the beginning of 4th grade when he was expelled from public school---- from 4th through 10th he didn't progress much in math just getting easy A's so now in 11th grade he STRUGGLES to get a B in Algebra 2 honors. He never really took regular 7th, 8th, etc grade math classes. He should have been on a trajectory to be doing AP Calc by now. We pulled him out of that school at the end of 10th grade. He's finishing 11th and 12th online now. Not at all ideal but his behaviors can't go back to a regular public school and his academics aren't being served in a special ed environment.

GOOD LUCK finding a school that can handle both. It's impossible. Neither of my kids have ever been to a Jewish school, even the one who is only slightly 2E--- the Jewish schools in our area don't do behaviors at ALL but they do ok with academic support--- exactly what my kids don't need.

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 7:24 am

OP I’m so sorry for what you are going through

Are there no mainstream small schools with a 0 tolerance to bullying in Brooklyn so op doesn’t have to pay for all therapies out of pocket.

Are there no gifted Jewish schools.
Usually extremely gifted kids have social skills deficit.

blueiz

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 3:12 pm

No practical tips, but just want to say she's very lucky to be in a family that is trying so hard to meet her needs. The fact that you're willing to consider moving to anywhere in the US just to help one child is real dedication. May Hashem help you find the right place for her!

meyerlemon44

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 4:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks. I so appreciate the understanding. I just can't be criticized any more. I am doing my best. If someone tells me "well just get the kid OT/speech/social skills help/this item/do that" I am going to scream. Once I start to tell people everything I have done and advocated for they back off. But why do I need to defend myself?

I am willing to travel across the country and move to get her a school!! Does that say enough?!?
Hugs to you too!!

I just want to validate your frustration. I’ve had the same conversations with my kid’s teacher, as if we’re so daft we’re not already doing therapy/social skills/medication etc etc

amother

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 4:11 pm

blueiz wrote:

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. This is exactly what I needed to hear. You cannot even imagine it. I am almost crying I am so touched.

Please daven we do find it!! She is such a sweet neshama, she shouldn't be bullied or not have friends. She shouldn't have to struggle this way.

amother

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 4:15 pm

Out of town imamothers- any small schools that can work with us and give my daughter the attention she deserves?!? That she isn't one of 25 or so girls and gets ignored?

She does not need remediation or academic help.

amother

Lightcyan

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 4:16 pm

Look into Torah School of Greater Washington. This is not a special ed school by any means. There is a guidance counselor. They won't have social skills supports or anything like that- but it's a small, welcoming environment. I find the girls program to be very warm and supportive.

amother

Lightcyan

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 4:19 pm

amother Lightcyan wrote:

Following up- class sizes are very small - girls get a lot of attention. The school counselor works hard to help kids who maybe struggling, but no guarantees if your child really needs more help. That being said, they are pretty on top of any outright bullying. The teachers are very invested and caring.

amother

Canary

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 4:21 pm

I was also thinking to suggest TSGW. They aren't special ed. But they do have a very big emphasis on middos and its a school with an overall positive, warm feel. Depending if there are one or two (girls) classes in your daughter's grade, her class might be as small as 12-13 girls (though some classes have closer to twenty if it's just one combined class). There's another trending thread on Imamother about TSGW/Silver Spring so maybe check that out...

amother

Stonewash

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 4:34 pm

I would look at both schools in Baltimore-Bais Yaakov and Bnos Yisroel. They both have different flavors and sizes and resources. I have friends in both schools who have been very happy with how these types of situations have been handled. (obviously, it's not perfect and I also have friends that haven't been thrilled).
Baltimore itself is a very open and accepting community in many ways and I find it filters down to the kids also.

mha3484

Sun, Dec 24 2023, 4:40 pm

OP my son is the boy version of your daughter but a few years older. He had his bar mitzvah last week. His class hovers around 18 boys and I think thats a good size. I think a class of 12 means you really have to get along or you can find yourself lonely. If you want to commiserate feel free to PM. We have had a long journey but k”ah seen a lot of growth.

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