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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
amother
NeonBlue
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:20 pm
If you're buying me a $25 paci clip, you're throwing $ in the garbage. Well, not really because you're supporting a local frum business.
But it definitely won't get used.
If you get me a stretchie from TJ Maxx, it's likely to be used and even if it's not good for the baby, I can exchange it for something else that is good for him or someone else.
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amother
Outerspace
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:42 pm
amother NeonBlue wrote: | If you're buying me a $25 paci clip, you're throwing $ in the garbage. Well, not really because you're supporting a local frum business.
But it definitely won't get used.
If you get me a stretchie from TJ Maxx, it's likely to be used and even if it's not good for the baby, I can exchange it for something else that is good for him or someone else. |
So it helps to know your audience. I don’t get many gifts altogether but the one or two that come beautifully wrapped give me butterflies:)
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amother
Diamond
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:49 pm
Is it because of the wrapping?
Learn to wrap yourself.
You can do just as good as a job
And get them something useful as well.
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amother
Snowdrop
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:54 pm
amother Outerspace wrote: | So it helps to know your audience. I don’t get many gifts altogether but the one or two that come beautifully wrapped give me butterflies:) |
You don't get gifts if there are these obscene expectations.
I wrap all gifts myself. So I buy the pretty wrapping and do my best. But honestly- the wrapping gets thrown out. What gives me butterflies is knowing someone took the time to think of me, want to share in my Simcha, and give me a gift.
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amother
Midnight
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:58 pm
I totally get this and I would cut off the tag. Unless your friend is extremely not snobby
I bought my friend who had her third matching outfits for all 3 kids from shein and I told her to lmk if she wanted to return anything. Her kids never wear anything fancy. My other friend who had her 3rd girl got matching hairbands because that's all I could afford from a Jewish store and I knew I couldn't get away with Shein for her - her kids wouldn't be caught dead in that (this was before the war, I'm not talking about Palestine, I'm talking about cheapwise)
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michimochi
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:58 pm
Side note, what's a stretchie?
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Trademark
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:01 pm
amother NeonBlue wrote: | If you're buying me a $25 paci clip, you're throwing $ in the garbage. Well, not really because you're supporting a local frum business.
But it definitely won't get used.
If you get me a stretchie from TJ Maxx, it's likely to be used and even if it's not good for the baby, I can exchange it for something else that is good for him or someone else. |
If you need a pacifier clip and got one as a gift why wouldn't you use it? And how would you know the price anyways?
I'm not the type to buy this expensive items for myself but if I get one as a gift I would use it.
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amother
Chestnut
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:02 pm
amother Outerspace wrote: | I see nothing wrong with gifting from tjs and I’m happy to get anything but I realized I feel better giving a 25$ paci clip from the local store (prettt bag and exchange slip included then a stretchie set from a discount store. |
Wow.
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Ema of 5
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:04 pm
amother Snowdrop wrote: | Personally I would not mind a TJ Maxx gift. Or a regift. I do it and got them and loved those gifts. Sorry but what am I to do with a baby gift given after my son outgrew it? I would rather another baby enjoy it now before it goes out of style than to collect dust in my closet until one day maybe I have another baby boy... plus I am happy someone thought of me and gave me anything.
But for those from those circles where it is unheard off (I can't imagine) leave the tag but rip it in a way so they can't see the store name. So they know it is new. |
That I would just give away, I wouldn’t give it as a baby gift. I would only regift something that was never used.
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amother
Brunette
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:06 pm
As per the answers on this thread you see it depends who you are and who you are gifting to.
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amother
Powderblue
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:13 pm
Stretchies are footed pajamas.
Onesies are undershirts with snaps by the crotch.
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amother
NeonBlue
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:24 pm
Trademark wrote: | If you need a pacifier clip and got one as a gift why wouldn't you use it? And how would you know the price anyways?
I'm not the type to buy this expensive items for myself but if I get one as a gift I would use it. |
Because my babies don't take pacifiers.
It's not that I won't use it because of the price, but I just don't find it useful for me at all, even in the cheaper version. And if I did, a plain one would be fine too.
Which is why outfits from tjmaxx makes more sense for me. Because even if the particular outfit doesn't work, there's something else I can exchange for.
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Ema of 5
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:26 pm
I call the ones with arms and feet strechies (some call them pajamas) and the ones with short sleeves and no leg I call onesies- what you put under their clothes.
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amother
Outerspace
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:28 pm
amother Snowdrop wrote: | You don't get gifts if there are these obscene expectations.
I wrap all gifts myself. So I buy the pretty wrapping and do my best. But honestly- the wrapping gets thrown out. What gives me butterflies is knowing someone took the time to think of me, want to share in my Simcha, and give me a gift. |
lol. What’s the obscene expectations? Why are you getting nasty and worked up?
I genuinely appreciate any gift (randomly the way life worked out I didn’t get many even though I always give- we moved twice right before I had a baby bh. )
My babies were long awaited gifts so that’s all I ever needed. Zero expectations. But when a friend got me a sweet paci clip in a gorgeous wrapped bag- I enjoyed it.
No one ever made me supper either (again being new and not particularly needy cuz we were a small family). A neighbor sent muffins and another 2 containers of chicken soup, I can still taste both:)
But yes, everyone appreciates different things and we all can only guess what the other person would want.
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Trademark
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:29 pm
Ema of 5 wrote: | I call the ones with arms and feet strechies (some call them pajamas) and the ones with short sleeves and no leg I call onesies- what you put under their clothes. |
That's my mistake. I just call them undershirts.
Last edited by Trademark on Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sewsew_mom
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:29 pm
amother NeonBlue wrote: | Because my babies don't take pacifiers.
It's not that I won't use it because of the price, but I just don't find it useful for me at all, even in the cheaper version. And if I did, a plain one would be fine too.
Which is why outfits from tjmaxx makes more sense for me. Because even if the particular outfit doesn't work, there's something else I can exchange for. |
You can exchange a pacifier clip in the Jewish stores and you have $25 towards anything else you can use.
Seems the same to me. It's the gift receipt that the receiptient has value over.
I would be thankful with anything! I guess I don't get gifts much. And I think it's beautiful when anyone goes out of their way to think of another regardless what they get.
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Trademark
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:31 pm
amother NeonBlue wrote: | Because my babies don't take pacifiers.
It's not that I won't use it because of the price, but I just don't find it useful for me at all, even in the cheaper version. And if I did, a plain one would be fine too.
Which is why outfits from tjmaxx makes more sense for me. Because even if the particular outfit doesn't work, there's something else I can exchange for. |
But the gift giver wouldn't know that you don't need it. It's a pretty typical gift.
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amother
Steel
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:37 pm
amother Strawberry wrote: | Nooo.
Only have gift receipt etc if it’s from a regular store I would be so turned off if someone gifted me from tj maxx, but it could be we run in different circles |
If you have a baby, just tell everyone what you said here, or please put it on a sign outside your door. I promise I would not give you anything from tj maxx. Or anywhere else. And I would likely never talk to you again. But I would be happy that you were honest instead of being "so turned off" and thinking "we run in different circles."
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Ema of 5
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 8:38 pm
amother Outerspace wrote: | lol. What’s the obscene expectations? Why are you getting nasty and worked up?
I genuinely appreciate any gift (randomly the way life worked out I didn’t get many even though I always give- we moved twice right before I had a baby bh. )
My babies were long awaited gifts so that’s all I ever needed. Zero expectations. But when a friend got me a sweet paci clip in a gorgeous wrapped bag- I enjoyed it.
No one ever made me supper either (again being new and not particularly needy cuz we were a small family). A neighbor sent muffins and another 2 containers of chicken soup, I can still taste both:)
But yes, everyone appreciates different things and we all can only guess what the other person would want. |
I will rephrase for her. You don’t get gifts if there is an expectation. Period. End of sentence.
-wrap it
-get from a certain store/stores
-spend a certain amount of money minimum
(This is in general, not directed at you or anyone else specifically)
(These are just some expectations that there may be, there are many more)
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