Seminary Tuition - Help! Will I get a partial scholarship??

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 1:06 pm

Chayalle wrote:

My DD's went for two weeks with their local seminary.
I think what's not accepted is saying no to your kids when there's something you can't afford. Other than that, staying local is pretty accepted. Didn't hurt my DD's shidduch in the slightest BH.

I'm just curious, did you find that much less expensive? Because I keep hearing that local sems charge abt 15k + 5k for Israel trip + child is living at home so add that expense... it's also a lot of $$$$!!!! In my situation this has nothing to do with shidduchim, it is purely bc DD wants to go. I can say no, and she is a good kid, will respect that, but I just don't feel that it is the right thing to do when this means SOOOO much to her.

amother

Begonia

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 1:36 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Depends which local seminary, not all go to EY. In Lakewood Migdal is not going. I think Bnos Chaim and Kerem are.

amother

Peach

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 1:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

I agree with you in theory BUT I believe that if a child asks for something which is "normal" in her circles then it is a parent's responsibility to provide it, not to say we can't afford it. This coming from someone who DOES live frugally and DD is very cost conscious and doesn't ask for a lot. But it is accepted that most girls go to sem (for better or for worse) so as a parent it's my responsibility to provide that for my child. Somehow, in these situations, Hashem always worked it out even when I was so nervous and just wanted to say "no" to my kids.
I do know someone who paid for half her sem herself (that was the only way she could go) but many yrs later she still feels hurt (although she would never tell her parents) that her parents did not meet her very "normal" needs.
Not saying every girl would feel this way, but it is normal for girls to earn their own spending money, so that is what we told DD she had to contribute.
But aaarghhh!!! It's just soooo much money!!!! And I have a bunch of girls bH!!!!
Hashem will help Smile

And it's years later and I feel bad and guilty that my parents stretched themselves so much for me to go. No, they never said a word or did anything to make me feel this way. But I grew up and realized what a big deal it really was for them. (And I did it as plainly as possible. No trip home for pesach or any extras.) I think, if a lot of other people would really be honest with themselves, they'd realize the same thing. It's just not something that everyone can, or should, be doing. And the schools should stop pushing it so heavily. There are other options these days that are perfectly acceptable. In my day, there really weren't--and I still think, looking back, that I shouldn't have gone.

amother

Magenta

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 1:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you’re local it’s more like 10K plus 2K for the trip. Living at home doesn’t really cost much, the rent is free and how much more are you spending on food with one additional mouth? You’re talking savings of close to 20K for a very comparable experience.

Between all American seminaries there are probably over a thousand girls enrolled. Can’t quite say it’s not a perfectly acceptable option any more. And while I understand your point about not wanting to say no to things that are “normal” while not giving extras, bear in mind one year of seminary is probably the financial equivalent of giving her all the extras in the world for her entire high school experience and then some.

amother

Aster

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 1:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sorry, I have to disagree, because you're talking about something that's tens of thousands of dollars not something that's a few hundred or less.

Sure, every single girl in someone's class is getting a certain briefcase or a certain watch and costs $100 for the briefcase, go ahead and get it. But to refuse to say no to something that's going to put you into debt and probably make you rely on the charity of others is not okay.

There are plenty of families where it is just not a thing that we go to Seminary in Israel.
If you actually compared the real price of spending including flying and extras to staying home and you see that it's pretty much exactly the same, that's one thing but it doesn't seem like that. Yes, I know some poorer families that sent and most of them did get an enormous scholarship and ended up paying less for their year in seminary than they did for High School tuition but that is not the reality for every single person and if it won't be that way for you then you need to look deep inside yourself and figure out exactly why you're saying yes.

little neshamala

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 1:54 pm

amother Peach wrote:

Completely agree

amother

Burntblack

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 11:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yup, isn't that amazing? PELL/FAFSA grants of 11-17k depending on the seminary + klei kodesh scholarship, adirei hatorah scholarship, probably MASA...I didn't ask exact details of grants they received.

As my accountant said, a typical lakewood family needs to make under 80k or over 400k. anywhere in the middle and they will be struggling.

even if the school only charged them 2k after all the grants, her plane tickets, health insurance, clothing, spending money and g-d knows what else also adds up.
I paid for all these things myself. everything except tuition
also not to be that person but dont people know that theyre daughter is getting close to seminary age and that this expense will be coming? dont you have to plan in advance?

amother

Burntblack

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 11:32 pm

amother Peach wrote:

im 23 so sem was fairly recently and I sometimes feel that it wasn't worth it...
honestly I hated having to deal with shabbos plans, I didnt love dorm life, it took me a while to make good friends but I dont keep up with most of them....I didnt marry a kollel boy which was their main goal ... kinda wish I had gone to college or worked that year and saved up some money for marriage

amother

Gladiolus

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 11:44 pm

amother Burntblack wrote:

Hm. But you also need to plan for weddings iyh and a shidduch wardrobe etc.

People can only save money that’s extra (op explained that she’s living frugally).

I k no w it’s been discussed endlessly, but ultimately like some Gemach/ kollel coupons etc. the fact that so many have seminary subsidies makes it harder for middle class families not to send. If no one besides for the very wealthy and a few wannabes would be sending it wouldn’t be a pressure.

amother

Acacia

Fri, Dec 29 2023, 12:25 am

The Pell grant (for which you fill out a form called FAFSA) for 2023-2024 is maximum of $7395.
There is no way any family can ever get more than that. So the post about the kollel family getting more is simply impossiblez
Furthermore, the only way to get a Pell grant is to go through another school that is based in the us, and all those schools have processing fees they have to pay, so parents only benefit between $4500-5000.

If a student is a NYHS graduate, she can get a TAP grant to which matches the Pell.

Masa gives a different amount every year so no guarantee.

Maybe max $2500 for this year

You might be able to get from
Some other places,
But even with $15000 in grants, you still
Have plenty left over to pay.
Please travel to/from EY.

If tuition is $30k and you have $5000 in extra expenses and you get lots of grants, you will still need $15000 cash to pay for this.

If you can’t do it, the earlier you tell your daughter, the better.

Before we allowed our daughters to apply, we went through our finances and made an assessment of our ability to pay for it or not.

We told our daughter, just bec we sent the oldest, doesn’t mean we can send the rest.

One at a time, each on in her time.

amother

Peach

Fri, Dec 29 2023, 12:31 am

amother Acacia wrote:

This is a helpful breakdown. I wonder if that specific family stretched the truth a bit regarding financial aid when explaining to op, because they got money via tzedaka or took out a loan and were embarrassed to say. I also don't know anyone who managed to get that much aid for seminary.

amother

DarkRed

Fri, Dec 29 2023, 1:00 pm

amother Acacia wrote:

According to your numbers, TAP, PELL, and MASA are around $17K.
Yeshivishe seminaries are $25-27K this year.
That leaves $10-12K tuition. Could well be they got a substantial "parents in chinuch" scholarship - 10K. It's not unheard of. Or the seminary really wanted their daughter.
The girl might have paid for her ticket and daily expenses.