Inappropriate behavior in a 5 year old boy

mimivan

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 9:39 pm

amother wrote:

No God Forbid he has not been exposed to [filth]-y on earth would you even suggest that?
I went online to medical websites where they quoted non jewish proffesionals how they would deal with the problem and they all said to ignore it completely.

They said that children dont understand the concept of privacy until they reach age 7.

why on earth would I ever suggest that?
Well..first off you are anonymous, so I don't know you..and it is a growing problem in society. Also, in this case, it sounds a bit obsessive...
second..do you see how many complaints there are on this site alone and worries about people being exposed to [filth]? If I had a shekel for every thread about [filth]...but never mind..
third, there was [filth] discovered at a frum boys school lately in our area (don't remember which age but shockingly young). We are not sending our son there..

of course non-Jewish professionals said to ignore the problem completely....they aren't frum and don't consider m@sturbation to be a problem!! I wouldn't leave the chinuch of my kids to non-Jewish professionals on line , but then again, that's my opinion...

But I agree with Motek and others who say let the father deal with it..

mommalah

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 9:48 pm

amother wrote:

ok ive got a problem. My 5 and a half year old son is constatnly playing with his "thing" when hes alone or after a bath before putting on his pajamas.
Ive tried to tell him that it is private and he should not do it in front of ppl or show it to anyone, but it is not getting through to him and I am getting disgusted e/time I see it.
He has a twin sister who he constantly says hey u wanna see my thing go up and down? And I dont think its appropriate for her to see it either.
My husband thinks hes doing it for attention and that I should ignore him whenever he shows it to me.

Any suggestions? Please help.

Thanks

If he's doing it for attention, DON"T ignore him! He is telling you (in a not so nice way) that he wants and needs your attention. Are there many other kids in the house and perhaps he doesn't get enough alone time with you and/or your dh? I remember hearing this at a shiur given by Rabbi Keleman.

leomom

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 10:08 pm

I think the point is she should ignore him when he does the behavior she is trying to extinguish, and give him attention when he is not.

Also, OP, you need to try something consistently for quite a while in order for it to have results. If you are ignoring a behavior, you have to consistently give NO response. An occasional response will make the behavior occur MORE often than even a consistent response. It's like playing a slot machine... you keep trying and trying until you get a payoff. Because once in a while, even if it takes lots and lots of tries, there is a payoff.

mimivan

Thu, Aug 14 2008, 10:10 pm

yy wrote:

Great observation, yy!