No baby gate at stairs

amother

NeonYellow

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 2:44 pm

tichellady wrote:

We didn’t have one but our baby was extremely risk averse so it just wasn’t an issue. We now don’t have stairs but our second child loves to try things out so we would have one if we had stairs now. My parents don’t have a gate but we put chairs down to block the stairs before our kids learn how to use stairs safely

My baby is not a risk taker, but sometimes he doesn't realize he's too close to the edge and he transitions from crawling to sitting and falls off the ledge. He actually has great motor skills and spatial awareness on general, but there's only so much a seven month old can do.

amother

Hosta

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 2:47 pm

amother Burgundy wrote:

I would think those without gates probably don't have the stairs located in a prominent place where it's easy to stumble down without noticing the stairs.

In the bedroom floor I don't feel the need but on the main floor with stairs to the basement I can't imagine not having a gate. Are those kids in high chairs/ excersaucers much of th day or in full day daycare? My babies are super active & even if safe on the stairs I can't imagine running down constantly to get them. And besides I don't keep my basement free of small objects like beads or lego so I don't let babies down there at all.

This is what I’m thinking, there’s no practical way to actually monitor a baby 24/7 even for a month unless the steps are really out of the way or you put your baby in a chair or other sort of baby container.
By 5 months my babies have free rein of whatever floor they’re on, I couldn’t contain them even if I tried, they love to explore!

Ema of 5

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 3:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

I've been to several homes which there are little babies there, but no baby gates at the stairs. They say that it doesn't look nice & they want the babies to learn to do the stairs on their own. I aske what if they fall? "If they fall, they'll learn to do it differently the next time". I'm just so astounded by this. Don't people realize that if a baby takes a tumble down the stairs, there may not be a "next time" ch'v??? Why is the house looking nice more important than childrens safety? I don't view this any different than allowing babies to run in to the road so they should learn on their own road safety.
I couldn't relax the entire shabbos, I was busy chasing my baby to make sure they're not near the stairs.
Thoughts?

When we were fixing up our house before we moved in, the contractor was supposed to make a built in gate, but he never did. At the time it was t really important, because our youngest was already well able to go up and down.

When our next one was born and started crawling, I did buy a gate, but because of the position of the stairs, it didn’t really work well.

My baby started going up the stairs a few months ago. As soon as we saw him going up, we all taught him how to go down. It took a few days, but that was it. BH we have a very soft carpet on the steps, and we only have a few steps together at a time. The staircase in our old house was much scarier- it was 13 steps, and they had no backs. Then I DID have a gate, at the top and at the bottom.

For me. It’s not about looks or wanting them to learn. It’s that gates don’t work on my steps. I’ve tried multiple.

momsrus

Fri, Jan 12 2024, 3:17 pm

Ema of 5 wrote:

This is different than steps doing down. Would you feel the same way if you had steps going down in a a place that baby crawls around regularly.

amother

Magenta

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 4:33 pm

I have too much experience with babies/toddlers falling on stairs, I really need to use gates.

When I was 11, I was watching a baby on the stairs, I was literally right behind her on the steps, yet she managed to fall down 7 or 8 steps onto the tile floor. Thank G-d she wasn't seriously hurt, though badly bruised. But even having another 'older' child watch a baby on the stairs doesn't prevent accidents. A grown up probably would have been able to stop it, but I couldn't.

My niece as a toddler was playing on her grandparents stairs and was distracted by someone at the top of the stairs and tripped. There were 3 adults nearby who rushed onto the stairs but she still fell down the stairs onto tile floor on her nose. It swelled up to look like a plum in 3 colors, they weren't sure if it was broken. It wouldn't have happened at all if there had been a gate, because she wouldn't have been playing there. Even with nearby supervision of a child who knows how to do stairs, you can look away for a minute and your baby can fall.

When we were little, my friend fell down stairs onto a marble floor and broke his jaw. Had to be hospitalized and have surgery and had his jaw wired shut for several weeks and couldn't eat, only drink through a straw. Lost a ton of weight, just cried a lot. Was a nightmare for the whole family.

When one of my parents was young they fell down the stairs at night and got a concussion, had to be rushed to the hospital. Although no problem with stairs during the day, in the dark is a different story. This was a staircase with carpeting and that had 2 landings, so it wasn't a particularly big fall, but they landed on their head. Concussion lasted a while, thankfully no long term damage.

I fell on the stairs when I was little too (from the top), injured my toe so badly I couldn't walk for a month - still clicks to this day almost 30 years later. My friend's little brother had a similar story, but he broke his toe falling down stairs when he was little, and it never healed properly and permanently sticks up.

We also have a distant relative who fell down an entire set of steps and died young, it was extremely tragic.

Plus I have kids with motor delays, so it can take months between when they learn to crawl up and when they learn to crawl down. I can't supervise them every second, even if I want to (thank G-d for playpens).

I don't care how nice my house is or how much I think my kids can learn themselves, for me baby gates are life or death to me. I just would never take the chance after what I've experienced and seen with friends and relatives.

Ema of 5

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 7:15 pm

momsrus wrote:

This is different than steps doing down. Would you feel the same way if you had steps going down in a a place that baby crawls around regularly.

I spend plenty of time upstairs in my house, that’s where my laundry room is. When my baby first started going up, I would let him go up two or three, and then tell him to come down and show him how. When my kids were around they did the same thing. It really took a few days, less than a week. Then he was going up and down.

amother

Bronze

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 10:17 pm

Please carpet your stairs!
Our baby fell down the stairs around 10 months or so, bli ein hara BH was ok. Hatzolah said to carpet the stairs.
We r renting, we still did and when the guy carpeted I watched him put a foam layer, then the carpet.
Years later a different child, 3 year old tumbled down the stairs and I took her to be checked at the dr bh bli ein hara was fine, dr said it’s a really good thing our stairs are carpeted.
Please do it people.
We have a baby gate. Our kids learn as babies to go up and down the stairs.
We still have a gate. There’s a teaching process and until they know it I don’t want to have the stairs available.
Also it’s an awkward setup where we r only a 2nd floor apt. The door to our apt opens, u walk up the stairs and thru the baby gate and come in. Like really the stairs should be out of the apartment altogether, it’s not like part of the house it’s only the entrance/exit. So I’m sure it’s different in like a full house of 2 levels with stairs inside the home, but that’s not our situation.

effess

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 11:23 pm

None of the ppl who don’t put gates just let their babies go tumbling down, they’d just dilly to say. They have other things in place for protection.
Their parenting method, their supervision method, their house layout are different than yours.
I don’t have a gate and bh my little babies never tumbled down. Ironically, a walking child once tripped and fell down many stairs.
My method is teaching them to climb down feet first from a very young age.
Someone else deals with it differently.
It’s hard to visit a friend with stairs without a gate if you’re used to that.

Last edited by effess on Sat, Jan 13 2024, 11:51 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Lemonlime

Sat, Jan 13 2024, 11:38 pm

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

Wow bli ayin hora I would love to see that! My 8 month old is crawling and I thought it was early lol!

It's hysterical.
One of my kids were born around lag beomer and was crawling my chol hamoed succos. Took till 11 months to walk though. (I was running at 9 so it was late for me. Lol!)

I have a gate at the top and bottom of my steps and we have a landing in between.
By 7 months both my babies that were born when we already lived in this house learned to go up and down safely. And I'm still not comfortable.
We had 3 different gates between both kids and both of them learned how to maneuver and managed to outsmart it. One kid actually broke one.
Yes they did fall. One time my son at 1.5yo just went zooming with his bike straight to the stairs. Banged the gate open and went flying. It looked so bad I called hatzala to check him out. The same guy who delivered him showed up. It was also the same guy who pulled stuff out of his nose late one night...... some kids are just crazy. No matter how much you watch them stuff happens. Then there are kids, like my sisters kids. Who are just too normal. They play with toys. Then eat they sleep they poop. And they repeat the cycle the next day. And no, that sister doesn't have gates in her house.....

Ema of 5

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 12:06 am

amother Crystal wrote:

I’ve heard multiple stories where people’s kids were doing stairs for a while and still fell down

I’ve been doing stairs for years, and I’ve fallen down three times. In our old house, the one that had 13 steps with no backs, my baby figured out how to get around the makeshift gate we had. (Our landlord wouldn’t let us drill anything in, and the suction ones didn’t stay in.) I’m very vigilant with my baby now, although sometimes he does manage to get upstairs without me knowing. I’m not worried though. The way our steps are, it’s not a long fall, and it’s all carpeted.

amother

Seablue

Sun, Jan 14 2024, 3:05 am

amother Crystal wrote:

I’ve heard multiple stories where people’s kids were doing stairs for a while and still fell down

Not sure what this is supposed to prove.

So you should never teach your kid to do stairs?
Keep baby gates up even for adults?
Only buy houses that are one story?

I don't have a baby gate. I find that they help if it is a house with just parents and a small child. Once there are multiple kids, it ends up giving a false sense of security because not every kid running upstairs will get the gate back on right.

But our house has carpeted stairs, it is a split run (not just one long run), and not to tile floors.

I think tile and concrete are terribly dangerous and hope I never have them in my house! All falls (even small ones) are worse on an unforgiving floor. I do not understand for the life of me why a mother of small children would put in a tile floor by choice.