Chizuk - daughter rejected because of her size

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 25 2024, 1:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

AND SHE IS ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you Hashem

All of you out there - it's really really not easy but iy'h when the time is right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chasdei Hashem

You made my day! Mazal Tov! Such wonderful news! Continued Nachas and Simcha!!!

Thanks for updating us!

ChossidMom

Thu, Jan 25 2024, 1:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

I kind of knew it can happen but now that it happenned my heart is just shattered
great shiduch
great boy
and they dont want daughter because she is a size 14-16
oh well
I guess they dont deserve her
but it does sting

I didn't read the thread but know this well.
I was probably a size 18 when I got married. My husband never really wanted a fat girl but HE DIDN'T NOTICE.
Size 14-16 really isn't so big. Some guys just can't.
It stings but I'll tell you this - I would rather be rejected by an outside factor (which can potentially change) than my personality (which can't)!!!!!

What really stung was when shadchanim told me to lose weight. It's true that most guys want thin girls but you don't need "most guys". You need that one.
One guy I was dating went so far as to ask me if I would lose weight after we got married. I told him no promises. That hurt. I really liked this guy.

There is someone out there for your daughter.
May she find him soon be"H.
The pain we go through really serves to round out our personalities and make us much more sensitive to others' pain. I feel for both you and your daughter and I'm telling you - It's going to be ok and she will BE"H meet a guy that way surpasses her expectations.

ChossidMom

Thu, Jan 25 2024, 1:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

AND SHE IS ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you Hashem

All of you out there - it's really really not easy but iy'h when the time is right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chasdei Hashem

Oh wow. She found him! Mazel tov!!! May they build a binyan adei ad!!

amother

Celeste

Thu, Jan 25 2024, 3:29 pm

This post reminds me of my experience. A mom of a boy said no cuz my weight (m/l). I am married for two half yrs to the most amazing man and pregnant with my second when they don't have even one (got married same night as me ik cuz husband is friends with that boy)

Tao

Thu, Jan 25 2024, 6:30 pm

ChossidMom wrote:

One guy I was dating went so far as to ask me if I would lose weight after we got married. I told him no promises. That hurt. I really liked this guy.

This is so so off and innappropriate! I can't believe a guy would say this to a girl's face. What an idiot. I'm glad you didn't end up with him!

On another note, there is also no guarantees. A friend of my husband's (who btw, is no model himself, he's probably obese or at least close to it) had to be pushed into his shidduch because he had a thing about marrying only a skinny girl, which she wasn't. (I know her well and she is adorable - he did extremely well for himself, despite not marrying a size 0.) Meanwhile when I got married I was literally as thin as you can get. Fast forward, we both have 2 kids bH, and I'm the same size as this other woman now (we're both big). Moral of the story: even if you marry a super thin girl, there's no guarantees she'll stay that way!

Mazel tov OP on your daughter's engagement! May the young couple have a wonderful life togetehr ad meah ve'esrim!

amother

Poppy

Thu, Jan 25 2024, 6:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

AND SHE IS ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you Hashem

All of you out there - it's really really not easy but iy'h when the time is right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chasdei Hashem

Mazal tov!!!! They should be happy together all of their days!!!!

Thank you for updating.