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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Kosher Kitchen
amother
OP
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:28 am
I’ve been wanting to just be able to eat Chalav Stam products. Can someone please explain to me why I can’t? (I know many do but me and my husband grew up that it’s not allowed, and my husband really doesn’t want me to)
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amother
Antiquewhite
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 1:31 am
The only one you should be asking for reasons is your husband
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essie14
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 3:18 am
amother OP wrote: | I’ve been wanting to just be able to eat Chalav Stam products. Can someone please explain to me why I can’t? (I know many do but me and my husband grew up that it’s not allowed, and my husband really doesn’t want me to) |
You answered your own question. Your husband believes that your family should be eating only CY.
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salt
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 3:24 am
amother OP wrote: | I’ve been wanting to just be able to eat Chalav Stam products. Can someone please explain to me why I can’t? (I know many do but me and my husband grew up that it’s not allowed, and my husband really doesn’t want me to) |
Taken from aish website:
Chalav Yisrael
A rabbinic law requires supervision during the milking process, to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision. Many people, however, do not rely on this, and will only eat dairy products that are designated as Chalav Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk").
Many people think that only eating chalav yisrael is a chumra. In fact, eating chalav stam is a kula. Don't know if that makes you feel any better.
Buy yourself yummy chalav yisrael treats - there must be some good products where you live.
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amother
Scarlet
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 7:42 am
Quote: |
Many people think that only eating chalav yisrael is a chumra. In fact, eating chalav stam is a kula. Don't know if that makes you feel any better.. |
This is a debate that has been discussed many many times on this site.
According to my understanding, having actually gone through the halachos and sources, it’s not really either. Chalav yisrael is a must. The question is what can you rely on for chalav yisrael? A mashgiach there at all times, watching every drop? A mashgiach checking every couple weeks? Just the fear of the mashgiach? Or the fear of the Deaprtment of Agriculture?
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amother
Brass
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 7:56 am
I want a cheeseburger. I’m not eating one because it’s not allowed. You see what I’m getting at?
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amother
Viola
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:20 am
amother Brass wrote: | I want a cheeseburger. I’m not eating one because it’s not allowed. You see what I’m getting at? |
You're suggesting that chalav stam is comparable to treif?
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kenz
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 10:36 am
amother Viola wrote: | You're suggesting that chalav stam is comparable to treif? |
No, she’s saying she’s not allowed so she doesn’t. End of discussion. If OP views chalav stam as prohibited, which many of us do and her husband clearly prefers, it won’t be a question anymore. It’s simply not allowed.
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amother
Springgreen
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 10:43 am
amother Viola wrote: | You're suggesting that chalav stam is comparable to treif? |
According to some Poskim, yes it is. And dishes would need to be Kashered etc.
According to some Poskim it should shouldn't be eaten but is not considered Treif. The more you know
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amother
Leaf
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 10:46 am
OP I just want to say that a big rav told me that even though I must raise my family with my husbands minhagim I’m not personally privately required to keep them. Meaning if I want to eat a Hershey’s bar when I’m alone in the car one time, it’s not a problem (as long as I’m not one of those who believes that cholov stam is treif, which I’m not).
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amother
Lightcoral
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 10:48 am
amother Viola wrote: | You're suggesting that chalav stam is comparable to treif? | here we go again
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 7:34 pm
For those saying I should just blindly follow my husband good for you if you can do that. I’m having a very hard time as I have family members and friends and acquaintances who eat Cholov Stam and I don’t think in any which way they are eating trief. So it’s more of if they can then why can’t I? Why do some hold it’s perfectly ok, if others think it’s almost like eating treif?
Saying just don’t eat it, or follow your husband, is not very helpful.
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amother
Grape
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 7:53 pm
Many hold it is muttar. It isn't treif like a cheeseburger or bacon.
Now the bigger question is why do you want it?
Cravings? Childhood memories? Feeling trapped or constricted?
What would the repercussions be if you ate it? Shalom bayis or otherwise?
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amother
Daffodil
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:02 pm
Op did you grow up eating it? It’s very different if you did.
Also, if you stop eating only chalav Yisrael, you’d need to do hataras nedarim according to Rav Moshe.
Side point: if you’re chasidish, or not in America, it will be difficult to find a rav to approve the switch. The chasidish rabanim never got on board with Rav Moshe’s heter. And rav Moshe approved Chalav Stam specifically for America, not other countries.
Also, I don’t want to be mean, but you can take this attitude to almost every area of yidishkeit so I understand your husband’s reluctance.
Are you in general looking to loosen up, or is it only this? Because it CAN indicate an overall attitude. (Why wear stockings if plenty of people say I don’t have to? Heck, why cover my hair if there are valid opinions not to? And so on.)
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amother
Moccasin
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:05 pm
You need to ask a Rav.
We keep it and believe it as a Chumra. Of course it’s hard.
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amother
Pewter
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:24 pm
amother Springgreen wrote: | According to some Poskim, yes it is. And dishes would need to be Kashered etc.
According to some Poskim it should shouldn't be eaten but is not considered Treif. The more you know |
I've heard this specifically for countries where there is "no fear of government", as in Rav Moshe's heter for Chalav Stam wouldn't apply.
Just wondering if any Chassidim or Chabad hold that Chalav Stam is treif even in the US?
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amother
Daffodil
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:27 pm
amother Pewter wrote: | I've heard this specifically for countries where there is "no fear of government", as in Rav Moshe's heter for Chalav Stam wouldn't apply.
Just wondering if any Chassidim or Chabad hold that Chalav Stam is treif even in the US? |
Yes, definitely! That’s why they won’t eat anything pareve made on even dairy equipment.
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Cheiny
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:30 pm
amother OP wrote: | I’ve been wanting to just be able to eat Chalav Stam products. Can someone please explain to me why I can’t? (I know many do but me and my husband grew up that it’s not allowed, and my husband really doesn’t want me to) |
I’m just wondering. Which products can’t you have because you keep CY? I feel like there’s so much, I’m not missing anything…
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effess
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:36 pm
Would you consider studying the sources so you feel you are owning your observance?
It’s very hard to do something when you don’t have complete buy-in, and you might be feeling choked by a stricter spouse.
Knowledge might give you confidence and you won’t feel on the fence when tempted.
If this resonates, perhaps some imas can suggest what they found helpful in learning about it.
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amother
Kiwi
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Wed, Jan 31 2024, 8:39 pm
Cheiny wrote: | I’m just wondering. Which products can’t you have because you keep CY? I feel like there’s so much, I’m not missing anything… |
I only eat cy, but so do all my relatives and friends. I can see it being difficult if op can't eat in her acquaintances homes ect...
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