How far apart upsherin from actual birthday?

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 4:22 pm

How long is it normal to "push off" an upsherin after the actual 3rd birthday?
My sister who is super close with my son is coming back from seminary a week after his birthday. Then a week later my sibling is coming to visit for a few days.
That's already 2 weeks after his birthday.
Is it common to wait?
It's my first boy and I don't have any young boys in my life so I am clueless when it comes to upsherins.

gr82no

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 4:23 pm

We hold the same day unless shabbos/ sefira.
But definitely tzitzis and yarmulke from birthday

amother

Firebrick ↓

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 9:34 pm

I would do haircut, tzitzis etc on day of and push off the party until it works for you

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 9:52 pm

amother Firebrick wrote:

I would do haircut, tzitzis etc on day of and push off the party until it works for you

We're very simple people and have a super small family. So our party will be small, the cutting is the main event I would say.
That's probably why it would be so special to me to wait, they make up most of my family.

amother

↑ Firebrick

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 9:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

Got it. Is an upsherin your minhag? If not it doesn't really matter when you cut his hair.

I'm trying to figure mine out actually since he was born on erev Pesach. Whether we should try to cut his hair then, if we could possibly cut a few days earlier or we should wait till Lag Ba'omer. Probably will ask our Rav. It is our minhag so I want to do it right

effess

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 10:05 pm

Our Rav told us not to do it earlier than birthday.

I would wait for the party to celebrate with the family, but give the first snip and start tzitzis and other things on the actual birthday.
At the party finish the hair cut and celebrate.
Lots of nachas

amother

Bluebell

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 10:08 pm

I would do haircut and Rebbi on the day of birthday and then the party can be whenever works for you! The party really has nothing to do with the “upsherin”

amother

↑ Hydrangea

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 10:27 pm

What do people do when the birthday is on yt? Before? Wait till lag baomer?

amother

Mocha

Mon, Feb 05 2024, 10:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

We had considerations with parents (I don’t think I’d consider siblings) We spoke to a rav.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 7:12 am

amother Mocha wrote:

We had considerations with parents (I don’t think I’d consider siblings) We spoke to a rav.

Can I ask what you ended up doing?

bnm

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 10:23 am

One kid was during sefira. We cut the hair and had a party Lag Baomer and took to cheder on his actual birthday.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 10:32 am

It may depend on what your minhag is. For some it's a very big minhag and a bit more rigid. For the chassisim I know it's a huge deal with a lot that goes into it. For others it isn't a minhag or one that's just been absorbed into our culture almost across the board. That will make a difference in the answer that you get.

amother

Papayawhip

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 10:38 am

amother Slateblue wrote:

I'm chassidish and have a bunch of brothers, only some had their haircut on their actual birthday. of course sefirah is an issue, but we've also had some haircuts earlier or later, taking into consideration trivial things like travelling.. I guess AYLOR

Ema of 5

Tue, Feb 06 2024, 10:39 am

amother OP wrote:

My two older boys were both born during sefira, I believe we made both after Shavuos, on a Sunday. My baby was born in November, so, if timing allows, we will probably do it the Sunday after his birthday.