The standards of todays clothing

amother

Glitter

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 12:16 pm

my coat cost 40$ from Costco. (it happens to have a stain so looking to replace and can get a nice coat for approx $100) or I can buy the coat again from costco. I have a moose knuckle coat that cost way more that I don't like and don't wear. I think I don't feel the pressure because I know I bh can afford designer items if I wanted them but don't need them so don't waste my money on them anymore. Whoever won't be friends with me because I am not stylish enough for them its their loss.

amother

Dimgray

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 12:21 pm

This is so, so community-dependent.
I live in a yishuv in EY. We have a second-hand store on the yishuv. A large percentage of people shop there. New or like-new clothing for 3NIS a piece. No worries about the child losing/tearing clothing. They can just be kids. And my husband and I love shopping there too.
It makes me so happy that we don't have to venture into the dizzying, gaudy, non-tzanua malls.
There is really no chasing after designer stuff here. It's just not a thing.

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 12:28 pm

amother Dimgray wrote:

Obviously Israel is different not referring to that

amother

Heather

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 12:34 pm

I agree, there something wrong with a big slice of frum communities, I'm so glad I'm not part of it.

I'm in Yerushalayim, we dress nicely, don't need gemachim etc. but we buy mainly from Next and other normal / less expensive places. I get a few pieces now and then from nice women's clothing stores but not the overpriced American ones. We don't look old fashioned, still look put together but definitely not into the latest fashions. When I see posts about table cloth lengths and what's in this season it makes me wonder where on earth things have gone wrong. I personally don't believe it's people's way of serving Hashem, I think it's horrible ostentatiousness that has crept it's way into yiddishkeit like a plague.

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 1:03 pm

amother Candycane wrote:

I'm in boro park and the pressure is real. The designer and jewish brands are crazy expensive and there's a pressure to have ur kids and yourself look just so. The country scene makes it much worse imo.
Many wear knockoffs, many don't. Many husband's cry about what their wives are spending. Husb friend confided that his wife bought 120 dollar shbs shirt for his 3 yo. He wanted to know if it's normal or if it's excessive. Unfortunately, it's not considered crazy!
I'm very frugal bit still want my kids to look part of it but I don't do brand names. I don't see the point in buying a mackage coat for 1200 if can get very nice in style coat for 400 without the symbol on sleeve.
But you can't take away the pressure. Many of those families also drive crazy expensive cars.
We grew up very budgeted and my mother used to say that only people on programs can afford designer stuff. If you're not paying rent, tuition, food, insurance.... then your whole income, that was prob paid off the books to qualify for all this, can go to clothing and extras.

Is this a joke? I don't know anyone who spends 400 on a coat, nevermind 1,200. Since when is $400 considered cheap???

I guess this proves the entire point of OP.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 1:32 pm

amother Obsidian wrote:

For those saying 400$ for a coat is crazy- the 80$ Zara coats don’t look good after a few months. The lands end are not fashionable enough for me. I walk everywhere and I’m on the thin side I freeze when it’s 40 degrees out. You bet I’m getting a mackage coat to protect myself from the elements. I tried the Sam coats the smallest size was huge on me. I don’t believe in moncler they’re not warm enough for the price tag. Over 12 years ago I was already wearing mackage before people knew what it was. Back then there was no obvious label but people were still stopping me in the street asking me where my down jacket was from. The mackage coat I have now currently has no M label on - that’s how old it is - worth every penny.

Oh please.

Who said Zara? Nordstrom rack, Ali- I live in Chicago where it gets very cold. I get amazing and very warm coats for $60-120. Even $120 is on my very high end. These coats last I can pass down for kids and for myself I wear for a few years.

Sorry there is absolutely no justification For spending $400 other than that you want that coat because of style

amother

Cyan

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 1:41 pm

I live in Lakewood, dress in style , had a daughter graduate from very with it high school… most girls are Not wearing the crazy expensive brands. It’s a few but everyone talks about it so it feels like more. And for those saying they need to dress a certain way for social acceptance, I don’t believe for 1 second a friend would stop being your friend because you don’t wear brand names. In fact, they may come to respect and appreciate it for it makes it easier for the next coward to think for herself!

amother

Snowflake

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 1:44 pm

I agree with a lot here and disagree with some.

Our generation is lost. We desperately need Moshiach because while Covid and October 7th woke us up some, and we are always a special nation even with our scratches, we aren't going to collectively find our way without some major help. I think 2000 years of Galus and a very bumpy road prior to that has proven that point.

Every generation has their "thing". Our generation is no different. For us I think the issue is materialism. That is why the standards are so outrageous and only getting worse. I will add that our generation seems to have a lot more problems than other generations but there is no way to really know that unless you lived both. We seem to struggle with so much from materialism, mental health, religious observance, woke culture, technology, family breakdown, etc.

I think we need to recognize that this is not a black and white thing. It's ok to like trendy things. Its ok to be in style. Its ok to spend money responsibly when you have it. Every person needs to be an adult, take stock of their financial situation and their priorities and make their own personal decisions.

I personally am squarely middle class. We own a house and 2 cars. Our house is old and not very large but we did renovate lots of it and it is very presentable and I am happy with it. Our cars run well and are not the lowest model available or the highest model either. If you compared me to a yerushalmi family in mei shearim, I would look like a spoiled wealthy American but if you compare me to typical American intown standards I look very simple and not fancy or trendy at all. I could buy Walmart and Childrens Place clothing but it really doesnt much cost more to look in style and I appreciate buying things that make my children look nice with very little extra costs added.

For example, I purchased my daughter the Ali coat for $60 when she outgrew her old coat. I could have spent $45 to buy the Childrens Place coat and saved $15 but I like when she looks nice and I can afford to spend an extra $15 so my daughter is happy. However, I wouldnt spend $150 to buy the on brand because that is where I feel the cost outweighs the benefit.

Some people would say I am buying into trends and I shouldn't even spend $15 more just to look like everyone else but I would say back to them, maybe you shouldnt have that extra hour of cleaning help that you have every week. The point is that everyone has their things that they find important and as long as their spending is done within budget and with a chesbon, it really isnt for anyone else to have an opinion on.