My MIL gave my baby a nickname I hate.

amother

Wed, Feb 14 2024, 3:20 pm

My mother in law don’t have the best relationship. Not a bad relationship. Just not close in any sense of the word. Married under 3 years and bh had a baby less than a year ago. My in laws never really welcomed me to the family and I still feel uncomfortable having one on one conversations with them without my dh.
My mil started calling my baby by a nickname that I hate, and now all my in-laws call her that. For example, if my baby’s name is Miriam (it’s not) she calls her Miri. Not an uncommon nickname. Just have negative associations with the name and that’s not the name I gave her. My DH and I have plenty of nicknames we call her and most of the time just use her full name. But we both dislike and never use the nickname my in-laws call her.
DH has tried ( subtlety ) to get her to stop. “We prefer one of these other nicknames” but she said she liked her nickname better.
Makes my blood boil every time they call her that. Definitely not helping out relationship… Any advice…?

BatyaEsther

Wed, Feb 14 2024, 3:25 pm

DH has to not be subtle.

He can tell his mother, we don’t like the nickname, I k ow you do but we don’t, please don’t use it.

Period. End of discussion

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Feb 14 2024, 3:28 pm

Just be upfront about it. “MIL dearest, I know you love the name X but I have very negative associations with that name. Could you please call her by her proper name?”

amother

Ebony

Wed, Feb 14 2024, 4:19 pm

I understand but not worth making an issue out of it. Bc your baby will end up being called the name/ nickname you choose, and as she gets older she’ll refer to herself that way as well.

watergirl

Wed, Feb 14 2024, 4:30 pm

My MIL and my SIL (husband’s brother’s wife) made it clear they hate both of my kids names and made up horrible nicknames. My husband very firmly told (not asked) them to not use them ever. They kept it up for a while and he kept telling them to use their actual names. It ended at about a year.

amother

Violet

Wed, Feb 14 2024, 4:35 pm

If its too hard to tell her straight I would start by making sure its clear to everyone else in your in law family what you would like your child to be called.

GoldenOra

Wed, Feb 14 2024, 4:37 pm

I’m sorry but there is probably something deeper going on here. Maybe you have some other things your mother in law or maybe dh is doing that you hate? If you don’t like a nickname that no one but your in laws call her… I think that’s really immature. Who cares that you don’t like it? It’s not affecting you so badly. Give a little smile under your breath and acknowledge that your mil didn’t name her; you did, and you have control over what everyone else calls her.