Help, baby cries to nurse ALL night!

PSR

Mon, Feb 12 2024, 7:55 pm

Just read this thread and it brings back memories from when my 6 year old was a baby. He didn't sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time from age 6 months to a year old.
It was pure hell. I really sympathize OP. Sleep deprivation is torture. I'm still not sure how I survived it. I can still cry when I think about it.

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Feb 12 2024, 11:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Of course I've tried paci instead of nipple. Gets him very upset.

He won't sleep with dh. Alas.

With medicine I think acid blockers can mess up the natural acid system or something. I'm giving elimination diet another try but if I continue to suspect acid reflux I'll have another talk with the doctor.

I have the baby whisperer solves your problems and haven't read it, will see if it includes the sleep training method.

Grasping at straws here... It's come to the point where sometimes even if I know he's tired I try to distract him instead of putting him to sleep because I just don't have the energy to hold him for the next hour. I know that's terrible and counterproductive and everything but that's desperation.

Well, he's going to have to bite the bullet—or paci—at some point. Too bad if he gets upset. You keep pushing that paci. That is not your role; you are not made of silicone.

amother

Mon, Feb 12 2024, 11:32 pm

There's only so much you can try before you realize that your sleep and sanity in the short term isn't worth it. The misery level when he wakes up in middle of the night and doesn't get what he wants is very very high. Very. Very very high level misery. He doesn't simply get over it, get used to it, or adjust.

amother

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 3:42 am

Came back here for company.
After some time of surrender, I decided to try the gentle end tactic of waking up earlier to try to move the whole clock to something more aligned with nature or whatever. I'd been meaning to do it, especially since I want to ease into more work hours too, but today worked out because he happened to wake up in a decent mood around 9. usually if he wakes up around then or if I try to wake him up before he's ready, he's super cranky and just cries until I let (... nurse) him back to sleep. So today he was willing to wake up so I said great, let's go with this.

It backfired big time. The great mood lasted pretty much all day. We had a nice friendly hour or so where he chilled while I got mostly dressed, then got clingy and then nursed back to sleep. I let him sleep on me and took most of that nap with him because I was also tired from getting up at 9 after not sleeping any more than usual before. After that he was pretty happy, we did a couple errands, until it was time for the sitter and work. Sitter said he was great and I got the best thrilled greeting (I don't always get that, often he just whines for me) and he was super cheerful the rest of the evening.

Then he peacefully fell asleep around 9. Started the day early, get tired and end the day early, amiright?

I am not right. Or rather I was right earlier upthread where I gave up on this. He woke up after an hour or so, decided that the 9 was a nap, was happy for another hour or so, and then tired again and now I'm having a night from heck. I've put him to sleep like 5 times already, don't think I'm exaggerating, including one where he transferred to crib long enough for me to use the bathroom, one where he woke up upon attempt to transfer, one in which I held him until he woke up of natural causes, and one where I was able to get him to sleep in the bed cuddled next to me but not in my arms so I was able to get some computer work done. Sleep would have been nice but he and other stuff has been keeping me too busy and I had a couple of deadlines that were getting too far in the past. Then he woke up from that too and now my computer is closed and he's falling asleep nursing in my arms, I will keep him there, and this better be it for the night because I am thoroughly burned out and did not start making shabbos yet. It's almost 4am, even if he does sleep this time I'm already beyond hope to function today.

I had such a nice pleasant happy relatively productive day and now I feel like I'm being soundly punished for it.

If I get enough sleep/nap to keep my eyes open, I'll try to read the baby whisperer over Shabbos.

Can't Believe It

amother

Indigo

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 3:48 am

OP, all I can say is Gam Zeh Yaavor.

I am saying this as I put my 18 month old back in his crib (thankfully only his first waking for tonight, and he just nursed and went back to sleep). It was a lot of hard months but it does end!

Dolly Welsh

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 3:52 am

amother OP wrote:

With baby being 100% cheerful and friendly all day and ok for part of the night (like 5-8am)? He's only miserable from about 11 to idk 4ish.

So, right in the middle of the night. Is that when your husband gets to bed? Your husband is very, very busy. The kid may not know him well yet. He may not know who is this guy coming in here.

Make sure your husband walks around with the kid in his arms, preferably bare chested, talking soothingly to him. The kid will get used to his feel and smell.

As your husband is so busy, that might be hard to achieve. But try for a little of him walking the boy around, every day, even if just for a few minutes. Daily.

Just a thought.

a2z

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 5:14 am

For your sanity please nurse laying down
That way at least you don't have the part of putting him down plus you are in a resting position.

amother

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 9:07 am

He knows perfectly well who his father is. They've been healthily attached since he was a newborn and he's his favorite person ever.

I do nurse lying down and various levels of asleep. But it's not real sleep. And it doesn't help when nursing isn't what he needs and he's begging for it but then squirming and pulling on and off and crying...

amother

Burgundy

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 9:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

Really sounds like reflux, sorry to say...