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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:07 pm
With my 3yo tonight. How many times can I have patience for her when she keeps getting out of bed. I gently twisted her arm and told her I'll have to do it again if she gets out of bed. It worked. I tried everything else nothing worked
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amother
Cyan
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:10 pm
Absolutely abusive. Your daughter will be in therapy when she is older.
Please do yourself a favor and get yourself or your child to therapy.
The last thing she needs is you getting upset because she feels scared. She’s coming to you so much bc you are her comfort.
You need to state her feeling. “You are worried now.. what can I do to make you feel safe without coming out of the room?”
I’m horrified.
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hodeez
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:10 pm
Do you want validation or consternation?
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amother
Peru
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:10 pm
amother OP wrote: | With my 3yo tonight. How many times can I have patience for her when she keeps getting out of bed. I gently twisted her arm and told her I'll have to do it again if she gets out of bed. It worked. I tried everything else nothing worked |
Of course it worked, she was terrified of her mother hurting her!
Does not sound ok to me!
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amother
Eggplant
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:11 pm
amother OP wrote: | With my 3yo tonight. How many times can I have patience for her when she keeps getting out of bed. I gently twisted her arm and told her I'll have to do it again if she gets out of bed. It worked. I tried everything else nothing worked |
This is downright abuse. Regardless of how gently you think you did it. Absolutely unacceptable. Get a grip & get help before you hurt your children even more.
Poor child. She's behaving her age & gets her arm twisted by her mother for that!!
And please go on BC till you get help for yourself.
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amother
Cyan
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:12 pm
I’m crying for this child.
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amother
Aster
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:13 pm
Bullying definitely works if the goal is to intimidate, terrify, and scar your child. Please get yourself help.
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giselle
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:13 pm
Did you post this to absolve yourself of guilt? Because I’m pretty sure the responses will go the other way…
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amother
Latte
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:13 pm
You sound very overwhelmed.
I suggest taking time to think about what would need to happen to put you in a better place.
When you feel like that with your child its best to step away from the situation.
It's really not good what happened.
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amother
Peru
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:14 pm
Same here!! I have a child that age and thinking about doing such a thing makes me shudder!!
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imasinger
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:14 pm
Let's see if we can offer you better solutions than that.
Hurting a child, even "gently" might win you this battle tonight, but it will lose you so incredibly much more in the long term.
Tell us a little about structure, rewards, and consequences in your parenting. We'll help you out. And most of us really understand the frustration of That Kid who just won't stay in bed. You're not alone in feeling it up to here.
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amother
Eggplant
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:14 pm
How did you even come up with the idea to twist her arm???? Who does that???
What other abusive things do you do to your children?
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amother
Hyssop
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:15 pm
imasinger wrote: | Let's see if we can offer you better solutions than that.
Hurting a child, even "gently" might win you this battle tonight, but it will lose you so incredibly much more in the long term.
Tell us a little about structure, rewards, and consequences in your parenting. We'll help you out. And most of us really understand the frustration of That Kid who just won't stay in bed. You're not alone in feeling it up to here. |
imasinger always has wise answers! wish u could meet u in real life. I'm sure I would gain so much
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amother
Cyan
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm
I hope you get the help you need. You are sick. I’m shaking.
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amother
Eggplant
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm
imasinger wrote: | Let's see if we can offer you better solutions than that.
Hurting a child, even "gently" might win you this battle tonight, but it will lose you so incredibly much more in the long term.
Tell us a little about structure, rewards, and consequences in your parenting. We'll help you out. And most of us really understand the frustration of That Kid who just won't stay in bed. You're not alone in feeling it up to here. |
This needs professional help. Not imamother help.
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amother
Linen
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm
OP I'd get off imamother for the rest of the night and never open up this thread again.
It won't be pretty
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CPenzias
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm
I'm sorry op. Your daughter will be forgiving in the morning iyh.
Maybe work on an incentive chart. If she comes out only one or 2 times she earns a sticker. X number of stickers earns a prize
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:16 pm
She has a normal bedtime consisting of a book, shema, kiss, tucked in and a cd to listen to. She has a weighted blanket which doesn't even help. She gets right back out of bed and runs around wild until I send her back to bed. She does it as a game. Idk what else to do. She doesn't understand the concept of a reward chart.
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amother
Powderblue
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Tue, Feb 20 2024, 10:17 pm
Voice of dissent here.
It’s never ok to hurt a child. You need to figure out other methods.
BUT, it is in the realm of normal. NOT OK, but most parents do end up using light physical force with their children.
Yes, you were at your wits end. You were triggered. You were exhausted.
You also know it was NOT the right thing to do.
But for people to tell you they’ve never ever ever used physical force or manipulation on their kids is probably not true…
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