My baby is "too good"-is there something wrong or am I just

amother

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 1:32 pm

or am I just being paranoid and I should appreciate it?

He is about 10 weeks old, and behaves really really well bh, and hardly ever cries.
He whimpers when he is hungry or tired, eat nicely and falls asleep pretty quickly.
He sleeps about 5-6 hours at night.
My others kids were much harder; waking every 3 hours round the clock and crying a lot more, so I am just getting nervous that there is something wrong!
The other thing is he definitely can smile, but he doesn't do it a lot.
It takes a lot of coaxing, and even then its like a half hearted smile, not a full one. I never managed to get a single picture of him smiling. My friends baby the same age giggles all day.
Pediatrican says everything is alright, but like how can he really know anything after examining him for 3 min?
I can't really discuss this with anyone in real life cuz I don't wan to jinx him chas vshalom.
Am I being ridiculous?

amother

Seablue

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 1:51 pm

I had a baby like this, minus the smiling delay. She's verrrry chilled now as a preschooler too. Goes with the flow, likes to have fun, has never given me a hard time with bedtime ever, etc...

amother

Yarrow

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 2:00 pm

I had a baby like this, spent the whole first year and half worrying. He’s just extremely easy going and chilled (his teacher complain that if they forget to give him snack or something he won’t ask for it, but he just really doesn’t care much) never gets worked up or too excited about anything. No idea where it comes from because my other kids are high strung, highly sensitive kids

amother

Valerian

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 2:09 pm

My baby is like this. Except she doesn't eat well, and is super sociable, curious and engaged. I relate to the worry, and can't shake it despite everyone telling me everything is fine. She's 5 months now and finally becoming a little more demanding, which is actually a relief.

amother

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:07 pm

amother Vanilla wrote:

Sounds like you are just lucky!

Does your baby make eye contact? How does he do with tummy time?

He does make eye contact bh. Does not like tummy time; actually now that I am thinking about it, thats really the only time he will actually cry, when left on his tummy for mor than 2 min.

He is gaining weight bh; not tonz, he is pretty skinny, but on the charts ok
Maybe I should just count my blessings that he is easy

amother

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:08 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

thanks for helping my put my finger on it a bit more. My baby is NOT sociable curious and engaged. At all. Its takes a lot of coaxing to get him to pay attention to someone talking to him.
But maybe hes still just little?

amother

Viola

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:24 pm

I'm a very anxious mother. So take what I say from that perspective.

I would definitely be concerned. But keep it careful eye on it. At this stage, I would try these three things.

1) focus on attachment. That means holding him close, contact napping, baby wearing, talking to him and making eye contact.

2) provide sensory input. So massages, joint compression, tactile activities, a lot of vestibular input like dancing while holding him.

3) ducking from the tomatoes. Push off all vaccines and avoid all antibiotics till he's much older.

amother

Maple

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:28 pm

If you feel like something is wrong, follow your gut.

I have a kid exactly like this. And she's very smart. But she is also ADHD inattentive, sensory processing disorder, visual processing disorder and a developmental delay. The dr brushed me off when I said something was off. Then at 1.5 she was able to sit quietly for 5 hours in shul. I had her evaluated for ASD which she wasn't. I was then brushed off again and told to relax. When I put her in school she got an ADHD diagnosis almost immediately and then started doing therapy. She's doing amazing. She's homeschooled, gets therapy and is way more engaged. It was very difficult for her to learn to read but she finally did at age 9 and is very quick. She has tons of friends.

So my point is, if you feel something is off, it probably is, but it may not be a big deal problem, just be persistent and don't let people brush you off and don't give up on getting the help you need

eta14

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:29 pm

I work in EI and have a masters in Special Ed. Your baby sounds normal and your friends baby also sounds normal. Development is a huge range and there are variations of normal for everyone. If your worry continues into 4 months then I'd set up an evaluation with EI. It can't hurt!

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:31 pm

amother Maple wrote:

Based on these diagnoses I am honestly shocked that she is easy going. Especially with the sensory processing.

amother

Maple

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 3:40 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

Based on these diagnoses I am honestly shocked that she is easy going. Especially with the sensory processing.

She overloads and shuts down. She's just out in space most of the time.

Kids like that struggle but don't get diagnosed so fast because they are so "good".

amother

Hawthorn

Mon, Mar 11 2024, 5:45 pm

amother Maple wrote:

She overloads and shuts down. She's just out in space most of the time.

Kids like that struggle but don't get diagnosed so fast because they are so "good".

I was that kid. Inattentive adhd, sensory issues, delayed physical milestones. My parents never got me help because I was so good, and also the oldest so they had no one to compare to. My mother still tells me what an angel I was as an infant, just sitting in the high chair for hours. She has no idea how much I suffered. (Ironically she is an OT and spent years trying to correct my handwriting). I dissociated so much when I was in the moment. I got straight As throughout school and have a high level degree, but socially I did not do well and still don’t. I suffered my entire life. I am a wreck emotionally. If your baby is too good and quiet look into it.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 5:35 am

My second child of many many slept around the clock except for eating 3/4 times a day-- from the night before his bris he slept 10/12 hours a night and only awoke for his feeds during the day. I was convinced there was something wrong with him and traipsed around asking until the nurse at the local clinic said "You have to accept each child for what they are". I came home crying. My son is a Rosh Yeshiva today...no kidding you..... so bear in mind that you may just be lucky! I was lucky only once!

amother

Almond

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 7:24 am

This was me with my daughter - I have a thread on it somewhere here… she didn’t maintain eye contact, didn’t smile easily and was just so good!
Fast forward 1 year… shes super friendly, interacts beautifully, talks etc. (doesn’t walk yet but she’s literally just a chilled kid)
She was 3 weeks early and that definitely played out in her milestones - each was reached exactly three weeks later! I wasn’t expecting that as her sister who was a month early with medical conditions BH met all her milestones on time…