Raise your hand | Imamother

amother

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 2:08 pm

If you despise purim as much as me!
When I was single I hated the drunk guys. Once I got married I hated the drunk men. Now I hate the preparations, the gifts for the teachers, the costumes, the kids shalach manos, the chaos, the mess, the kvetchies. This is not my holiday.

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 2:13 pm

Rappel wrote:

I love it, but BOY am I tired!

I love it too, even though this year is turning out impressively pathetic.

How was your chayalim hosting? Did you have enough room and enough food?

kneidelmeidel

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 4:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

Ready to catch the eggs but really, friends, if chagim are stressing us out, don’t you think it means we’re doing them wrong??

Borrow costumes from friends/ family

Give simple simple mishloach monos to a FEW meaningful recipients

Make a nice, not crazy meal, and done!

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:02 pm

This year I studied the megillah before and it made a huge difference. I’m probably older than you guys but I felt connected to the spiritual aspect instead of getting lost in the logistics

amother

Hydrangea

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:06 pm

amother Puce wrote:

Hate it but only because I dont really have friends so this day just highlights that fact.

Me too. And it hurt a lot when someone who I thought was friends with me didn’t come to me when I found out she went to the other people we have in common.

My dh hates having to pretend to be happy. He’s not so depressed at all, but when he’s forced to pretend to be happy it makes it worse.

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

I like Purim, but could do without the drunken idiots. Just came back from a shul party that was full of them. B"H DH isn't one of them. Feel so embarrassed for their wives and kids.

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 11:47 am

It doesn't have to be a do-something-because-others-are-doing it day. Make it simpler. You don't have to give teachers or all of your kids friends/ classmates. Limit the number they can give, if it is too stressful for you.. The parents don't appreciate their kids getting so much nosh anyway. Shaloch manos doesn't have to be elaborate. Costumes don't have to be stylish - go old- fashioned and let them wear simple masks. Make it fun for the kids by encouraging them to clean up. Put on music and dance with them. If you aren't enjoying it, probably your kids feel it too.

amother

Arcticblue

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 11:51 am

I did very basic boring mishloach manos, bought whatever costumes my kids wanted, gave mishloach manos/tips before purim to their teachers, and didn’t dress up myself because I didn’t feel like it.

My husband drinks a little but doesn’t get drunk. We take care of the kids together and go to the parties on both sides of the family.

It’s definitely not my favorite day at all, possibly still the worst day of the year because I am an introvert, but it wasn’t that bad. I appreciated the ability to daven and know that my prayers had more power than usual. I davened maariv after our night Purim party with my eyes half closed, and mincha in middle of the day.

Shoutout to scheiner shul in monsey and to the another who posted their schedule which had megilla readings all day and night. Having so many different options for going to megilla was life altering this year.

amother

Buttercup

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 11:53 am

I love purim!!!!

I love every yt tho Very Happy

its hectic and crazy and tiring and even stressful at times (mishloach manos)
but bottom line I love it!! the festivity and the music!!!

also the davening - I love that I can ask Hashem for anything on this day

amother

Vanilla

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 11:54 am

I dont love Purim but Im jelous of all the drunk men.

Iv never been drunk with a group of friends and Id love to!

Anyone else care to join me?

Without responsibilites of kids obviously.

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 12:33 pm

hate Purim
I try to tap into the tefillos and mitsvos
I do minimal mm but do nice for kids .
now they are older it's definitely easier as they can deliver themselves and do their own costume etc.
bring on Pesach which I love.

amother

Currant

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 12:37 pm

As an introvert, it's all just too much for me.

We've scaled down over the years, but still, even the minimum necessary visits are overstimulating.

amother

Foxglove

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 12:42 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

You mean for the seudah? They can't be in two places at once. Maybe the other family invited them first?

If you mean just stopping by for a visit, maybe they were going to be in the area anyway and were able to stop by there.

Purim is such a hard day with so many expectations. There are people I send mm to who are not my closest friends, but they're near where I'm going anyway. Or, they I someone I haven't spoken to in a while and I use this time as a chance to reach our or reconnect. I hope the people I don't get to don't take it personally.

amother

Foxglove

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 12:45 pm

The last several years, I did not enjoy purim at all. It was very stressful. This was BH a little better, but it's so much a packed into one day and I feel like so much falls onto my shoulders.