Making it easier for those hosting or being hosted

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 11:23 pm

Pesach can be stressful, going away can be stressful, having people over can be stressful.
Can people post idea's on how to make it less stressful?
For both people hosting and for people going away to family or others.

effess

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:09 am

Create a google doc with the food shopping list so everyone can make sure their favorite foods are on the list.
I don’t like bananas but my guest’s kids do. So she added it and I made sure to buy plenty so they’ll have what they like.
I write apples, my guest told me which apples her kids like etc.
Her husband told us which wine he likes, no guessing or overbuying a huge variety.
I asked her how much of specific food she’d buy or cook for her family so I knew how much to shop and prepare for each meal.
Example: dinner is meatballs. My family does 3lbs. Per meal, hers 3.5. I added a pound so it’s not tight and a few leftovers is good.. no guessing. 7.5 pounds it was.

amother

Pear

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 2:08 am

If you're driving and have the car space, pack the kids clothes into plastic camp drawers instead of suitcase's so it's easier to find their stuff all week.

We make menus and shopping list before purim and then it's sent out to everyone for feedback until r"c Nissan.

amother

Yellow

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 5:28 am

Say please and thank you.
Keep expectations realistic
Stock up on shmuntzes from amazing spending so the kids have something new and different for entertainment.
Send the hostess for a nap/let the young generation sleep in .

imasinger

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:04 am

Plan, plan, plan.

Who needs what? Who is capable of what? Who might forget what, and would benefit from discussion/reminders? Who is responsible for what?

Who will pick up the kid toys in the public spaces? Who will sweep the matzo crumbs? Who will bathe/shower when?

What can be cooked in advance? Who will bring what? Will it help both guests and hosts if visitors bring their own duvet covers/pillows?

Are everyone's expectations realistic? If the hosts don't kasher until the last minute, and are dependent on visitor help, what would happen if the kids need supervision, and nobody is available? What if a child gets sick?

Is there anything that could be solved with money? Extra help?

How much sleep will everyone need? What are the most realistic ways to get that to happen? If no guests are assisting with post seder cleanup, is it realistic to ask hosts to get up early with children in the morning?

If and when there are inevitable glitches, who are the calmest ones to discuss and arrive at a workable Plan B?

amother

Honey

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 10:12 am

Please pick up after your kids. Please clean the high chair tray , do not leave it for Bubby to clean whilst she is also cleaning the rest of the eating area and kitchen and preparing the next snack and meal for everyone.

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 10:22 am

Take a moment before Yom Tov (it can be while you are cooking , or packing ) to think of positive aspects of your guests / hosts to help foster positivity all around and feel free to express gratitude and share those positive thoughts when you are together over Yom Tov.

BatyaEsther

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 10:46 am

Bring a good attitude, on both sides.
Be kind.
Be mevater.
Think about how much work it is to have you/Think about how hard it is to come.
Do whatever you can to be helpful and easy as a guest or as accommodating as a host.
Help as much as you can, be it in your MIl’s kitchen or watching your SIL kids or your grandchildren.
Keep in mind everyone is tired and working hard.
Keep in mind it is a few days. You can eat your not favorite foods. You can share a bathroom and sleep in a lumpy bed with mismatched linen, You can deal with a temporary mess and noise. It will all pass.
Be appreciative of every little thing.

Bubby6

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 11:34 am

amother Pear wrote:

Clothing for each kid in zip lock bags, all socks in one, all undies in another, all pj's in another, packs diapers for each child in another bag. Things don't get thrown around this way and u unpack each ones bags into their designated area.

amother

Zinnia

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 11:46 am

amother Oleander wrote:

You’re not at home and your kids won’t sleep well! Accept it and don’t be so grumpy about it the whole time

I needed to hear this lol
But I did learn that if I sleep well, and am well rested, I'll be a better mother to my kids who are overtired
So I invested in a box of earplugs! I'm a light sleeper and the noise from other babies or young kids at odd hours can be very annoying. I stuff my ears for a good nights sleep

amother

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:46 pm

One year my MIL put together a list called What needs to be done
The list hung in the kitchen and listed everything that needed to be done from breading chicken to opening soda bottles. After you did what ever you did you crossed it off the list.

This was very helpful for people who wanted to help and did not have to keep annoying my MIL with "What can I do now". It also showed how you can help with out being under foot and while watching your kids. I remember opening up all the boxes of tissues while sitting in the playroom with my kids playing.

I have also found that the more child friendly the house is, the less stress.
When a host takes all the breakables to their room or somewhere out of the way it makes the experience more enjoyable for everyone.

bsy

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 1:13 pm

I've been hosted many times. I would love to help out a lot more with communal tasks/prep. But then my kids are unsupervised and that may be a disaster..... I make sure to clean up after them. Wash high chair tray, clean up the toys several times a day, make sure someone is watching them in the morning, and help out whenever I can.