Why does everyone hate on Maaser so much?

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:42 pm

Whenever anyone posts about their financial difficulties, if they are giving maaser or chomesh (10% or 20% to tzedakah) it always gets jumped on.

Why?

People post about their $4,000 mortgages and $600 car leases and $3,000 food budgets and nobody blinks, but if chas veshalom we are giving a percentage of our income to keep other Jews afloat, better get a heter to get out of that?

Women post about spending for Shabbos because Hashem pays you back, but tzedakah (which has an explicit guarantee for the same) is looked down upon?

Why is it not seen as a mitzvah, if not an obligation, and something that brings bracha from Hashem?

Why can people not fathom that for some, it's as non-negotiable as therapy?

Why are people focused on honesty with taxes, but chas veshalom to give our "tax" to Hashem?

Isn't it obvious that if everyone would give maaser or chomesh, we'd have fewer desperate families? That if each of us would stretch to give to those less fortunate than us, we'd all benefit?

I understand some Rabbonim say it's entirely optional, or that you can get out of it with tuition, or that if you're poor you're exempt. But why is getting out of it viewed as praiseworthy?

Please educate me.

applsauce

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

I agree 100%

the Torah says that the only place we can test Hashem is with money. that is with giving maaser and the biggest source of blessing is when you make sure to give proper tzedakah

and Hashem lets us test Him with that

amother

SandyBrown

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:24 pm

We absolutely give 10%! And yes I posted in the other one that I thought it was crazy that that lady who wasn’t getting Bayit was only getting by with her parent support was giving 20%. I think you can afford to give 20% more power to you and we always give 10% and we try to give even more. But we don’t commit 100% together 20%. I had some businesses for himself and some months are great and some months or not as great so we really have to set extra side. I actually listen to a podcast and it was about setting aside a separate bank account for. Maser and we did it literally the next day. It’s been the best thing ever because as soon as we get the money in it immediately gets 10% into another account.

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:26 pm

I am the OP of the post that mentions chomesh, and was killed for it.
That was very hard when no one seemed to understand that I’d keep giving it, even if I can’t “afford” it, because of the bracha Hashem promises from it.
I just wanted help on cutting down other things, not bashing on our tzedaka amounts (which I specifically said will not change in my OP).

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:31 pm

Nobody from the not frum world would understand why I continue paying private school tuition when I can't afford it.

I get that.

But it is a little surprising to me that a frum group can't handle that I give tzedakah.

I'm not homeless and starving. I'm not wearing rags and begging on street corners. Yes, I'm poor, but not completely destitute. Why is it so unfathomable that I might consider maaser a priority?

amother

Cobalt

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 3:02 am

amother Vermilion wrote:

I felt sorry for you on that thread. You got a lot of unasked for advice! Even though you made it quite clear that you were looking to cut expenses, but not the ma'aser.
But that's the risk you have to take when asking for advice-people project what they would do in your situation onto you.

amother

Rose

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 3:40 am

applsauce wrote:

Then why are people who give maaser/chomesh sometimes struggling?

When people are struggling and desperate for money why isn't giving masser the obvious guaranteed fix?

Why are there ANY poor jews? Why don't rabanim simply tell them to give maaser and they won't be poor anymore?

amother

Rose

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 3:41 am

amother Vermilion wrote:

How do you explain why you are struggling if giving a chomesh is something we can test hashem with?

notshanarishona

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:31 am

There is a difference in hating on something and suggesting someone reevaluate their priorities. Yes it would be great if we could all give masser but some have been told tuition comes first or other similar commitments. Everyone asks their own shaylos but schools probably take up a huge chunk of people’s maaser . It’s not like otherwise this $ would support our poor people, because these same people giving tzedakah would need tsedakah to keep their kids in school. It’s also funny to give away $ that others are giving you to support them, which is really them giving the tzedakah. (Personally I feel like in a case like described previously OP should cut back on one of her many other luxuries before cutting back on the tzedakah, someone who chooses to live in the most expensive area can’t cry poverty).
If someone wants to give up on masser to have $ in savings I think we would all say no you have to give it. When someone is struggling to put food on the table , keep their kids in school , and everything in their budget is non negotiable/ ie can’t be cut back, then it’s logical to cut back on tzedakah.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:34 am

I don't read through all what you are referring to yet something caught my eye yesterday.
Someone giving a chomesh when parents are supporting while living in a non negotiable high class neighborhood.
Seemed strange to me. A chomesh is for those who can financially. Receiving support to be able to do that I found odd

amother

Tiffanyblue

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:36 am

amother Vermilion wrote:

Sorry to have brought it up here then. I wasn't even aware ppl called you out.
Didn't read through the whole thing.

amother

Navy

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:42 am

I get given a hard time by people in my family (parents, siblings etc ) for giving maaser . For me that’s the first “bill” I pay the minute I get my paycheck. I don’t have money and we struggle financially but maaser is a given. I didn’t realize people are against it on imamother too.
I only feel like it helps me. It also gives me a certain emunah and trust in HaShem when I give it . I feel He’s holding my hand and will help me if needed .

amother

Rose

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:47 am

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

It just seems strange to give chomesh, which is above and beyond, when you can't afford to feed your own children. I personally think there is a difference between Maaser and chomesh but maybe I'm wrong.

I guess some might look at a chomesh as an investment. It has a guaranteed return of riches. Hashem makes the guarantee. So I can understand why anyone rich or struggling would want to give a chomesh. The question is why are they struggling and in need of help if they are giving a chomesh?

amother

Lemonchiffon

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:49 am

I don’t see anyone against maaser. But chomesh is an extra that you don’t give when you can barely feed your kids. And most people don’t have a choice about expenses. Bills, house, car etc… cost what they do and it usually can’t be cut down.

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:53 am

For the record, I think there are many more comments about lavish lifestyle choices than about giving maaser.

Many poskim hold that maaser is not halacha. Giving 20% is for sure not halacha
Especially if someone is struggling financially, it is a shaila if maaser should be given. Is is really helpful for society if people who themselves are getting tzedaka are also giving tzedakah? We just saw a poster who was giving 20% but wasn't putting enough savings to get by when their income decreased.

If you are giving maaser, there are halachos about who to prioritize. Guess what? Your family comes first. It's not selfish, it's the way it's supposed to be. It's backwards to think you should prioritize supporting others when your family is in need.

allthingsblue

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 4:54 am

amother Rose wrote:

Hashem guaranteed it for maaser, not Chomesh