S/o Top BY school for girl with HFASD

amother

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 8:15 pm

Prefer out of town but open to anywhere in USA with a frum community. Daughter in elementary has HFASD and ADHD. Mainstreamed now but isn't doing well socially. Totally a mess at home. But academically very bright. Reads above grade level.

Anyone have suggestions?

amother

Carnation

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 8:59 pm

what grade is she in? Tiferes Miriam in Brooklyn has girls from all over the tri-state area and starts from 7th grade

Beingreal

Mon, Mar 25 2024, 11:18 pm

amother Carnation wrote:

what grade is she in? Tiferes Miriam in Brooklyn has girls from all over the tri-state area and starts from 7th grade

I went to Tiferes Miriam for high school, but that was years ago. I boarded by families since I didn't live in NY. All I can tell you it's a really warm and caring place. The principal's daughter is now running it and both him and her is doing a fantastic job! The classes are small and it's modified what you can do. I had close connections with the teachers and they work with you. I wouldn't be who I am today without going there.

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 1:00 am

3rd grade... mainstreaming but I can see her falling farther and farther behind and not having friends in the upper grades.

She needs a warm school with social skills help. Where the class sizes are small and girls get the attention they need. But aren't seen as "problems" because on Adderall (prescribed by child psychiatrist with monthly follow ups) and can redirect her when she does her HFASD perseveration. Oh and communicate with parents, not expect her to follow up exactly.

But she is advanced academically. Not in an extreme way but enough that she doesn't fit any of the special needs schools/programs where I live.

Beingreal

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 1:21 am

Tiferes Miriam is only for 7-12 th grade. But that's what this school is. Consider it when she is older. Have you thought maybe a Montessori school might help?

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 6:39 am

Beingreal wrote:

Tiferes Miriam is only for 7-12 th grade. But that's what this school is. Consider it when she is older. Have you thought maybe a Montessori school might help?

None where I live so hence this question. I want info about all BY type schools for her that could support her needs.

mha3484

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:10 am

You are describing my 7th grade son almost exactly. Its been a journey. He is K'AH doing very decently these days. I have had great experiences in Chicago. The Bais Yaakov and boys yeshiva are connected. We did a lot on our own too. His school works really well with us and socially always have his back. My friends with girls say similar. They don't tolerate bullying, class size is reasonable but you likely will need to also supplement your own therapy. They will work with the therapists so its a real partnership.

Feel free to PM me if you want having a kid like this is so hard.

amother

Slategray

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 6:55 pm

Beingreal wrote:

I taught there 20+ yrs ago and agree theyre fantastic and Individualize curriculum to each girl. But back then It was mostly for girls with LD/ADHD. Would someone academically advanced/on par fit in ok?

amother

Salmon

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:06 pm

Does it bother her that she is struggling socially or is it just that you would like to see her doing better? If it doesn't/won't bother her, then perhaps social skills therapy would be beneficial along with whatever school she is currently in.
Many communities have group social skills programs after school or Sundays. This way she can do well academically in mainstream and receive support and make friends in a program like this.

Beingreal

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:22 pm

amother Slategray wrote:

Wondering if you were one of my teachers....

amother

Slategray

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:23 pm

Beingreal wrote:

Wondering if you were one of my teachers....

I was only there one year and did junior high

amother

Navyblue

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:28 pm

Tiferes Miriam is not for the high intelligence AuDHD child. They're more equipped for intellectually challenged but emotionally regulated students. (Yes, I am speaking from experience, no I will not elaborate. Sorry. Take this for what it is, an anonymous comment with no context, but I'm not comfortable saying more.)

Beingreal

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:36 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

Now you got me curious....

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:57 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

Sorry but this was not helpful and a bit obnoxious... I am a mom crying out for help and shared our issue. You are anon and could explain a little more. Or just said "my kid was too bright and they weren't able to help her" but to say you refuse to answer or explain is just not helpful...

amother

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:59 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

She gets bullied.
She misses out on things because she is awkward and babyish for her age.
She is also having trouble at home with emotional regulation and I see that school isn't helping. She struggles so much at school that it backfires at home...

amother

Navyblue

Tue, Mar 26 2024, 8:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

There is no way I could share without risking people knowing exactly who I am, which I'm not comfortable with even anonymously.

ETA: the people involved might be here, and it's a very painful story. I don't appreciate being called "obnoxious" for doing my best to warn someone while protecting my privacy.

LovesHashem

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:43 am

amother OP wrote:

Therapy. Support groups, can you find her ADHD or Autistic friends? Help her develop hobbies, go to events for them etc.

amother

Carnation

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 9:44 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

I know some of the students currently there personally
they are actually very bright! one sits with books reading all day, and a very high vocabulary
another is at average intelligence. but they are in that school for a while and I see a very big change in each of them! they became confident (still socially inappropriate) but they feel like they are wanted and needed as a friend.

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:11 pm

Any other schools out there?!? My daughter is too young for this school... as I said, 3rd grade. So any schools appropriate for her? Where they can give her attention, play to her strengths and help her succeed!?!?