How do you handle your son’s bris?? The crying…

amother

Trillium

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 1:24 pm

I'm chassidish and officially we don't go. By my first few I followed protocol.
By my last one I said no way is anyone keeping me away.

We used an amazing mohel, baby barely cried and recovery was the best one ever yet. No bandages. Gauze and bacitracin only first 24 hours. Never had such an easy time.

It was the most beautiful and moving experience.

Research your mohel! It makes a difference.

amother

Melon

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 1:27 pm

I view it like this. Is birth painful for the baby? Of course! They’re getting squished and pushed and suddenly they’re not warm and safe in their mother’s stomach, they’re out in a freezing cold world with bright lights and loud noises…but of course we say Mazel tov! It’s a huge simcha. So too for the bris, it’s not pleasant for the baby, but they are being born into Am Yisrael! It’s a huge simcha!

amother

Taupe

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 1:40 pm

I had a top mohel who told me before the bris that the vaby will cry from cold when the diaper is open and right after the bris they give the baby a drop if wine so to get groggy.
I still was upset until my daughter at 6 weeks needed a spinal tap. The crying I heard from her was so loud louder than a baby at his bris.
The doctor didn't care he just wanted to get it done while a mohel cares much more for the baby even if they seem rough.
My next boy I remember my daughter and was calmer about it but still cried from emotions thinking about what the bris represents not from fearing he was in pain..

bsy

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:33 pm

I cannot handle the crying. I do not go into the room. I'll be very honest, it's a very hard thing for me to do. I find out the gender in advance and this is part of the reason why.

amother

Glitter

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:45 pm

I love brissim! Imo it's Simcha in its purest form. What could be better than celebrating a brand new baby with a mitzvah that literally comes straight from the chumash? I love going and it's a very auspicious time to daven, especially when the baby is crying. I have two boys and while the whole procedure freaks me out a bit both of my kids barely cried and healed very well. I always had my husband do the diapers right after but besides that it's really not so bad. A good mohel is really important. Someone who you trust and who has MANY good references. The tying up thing is horrible and I had my mohelim use a straw. The worst about the bris for mom is getting dressed, made up and out of the house a week after birth! That part is horrible and it always sets back my recovery from birth.

amother

Lime

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:57 pm

My baby had a bris this week. I have a few boys.
I have never seen a baby tied.
I did see a baby that was older have a bris and the baby was secured by the arms so the baby’s arm wouldn’t get in the way.
Most of the time, the baby cries for a short minute.
This time, even though the Mohel checked him before, the bris itself wasn’t going smoothly. It felt like an eternity that the baby was crying, but it was probably 3 minutes.
It was clear to see that the Mohel was calm and in control. He felt very bad about the crying, which continued through the Brachos and naming. But by the time the baby came back to me, he was calm and quiet. The mohel did not do any “fixing” after. I have heard that being done and it’s awful. Making the baby cry twice…So the mohel knowing it would need fixing, did it all at once even though the Kahal needed to hear the baby cry.
The after recovery is fine. The baby does not cry from pain. I have never given any of my babies any medication after.
My sister told me she gave her baby arnica.

ladYdI

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 4:54 pm

In the chasidush world moms don’t go since it is hard for any mom to hear her child cry and a mom 8 days post birth is in a very delicate state. And to think of her having to get all dressed up and put on makeup and a shaitel is sooo hard! To me the chasidush minhag of moms staying home makes so much senses!

amother

Skyblue

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 5:12 pm

ladYdI wrote:

I would not give up on the opportunity to be there when my son enters briso shel Avraham Avinu for anything. It is such a joy and zchus to have this opportunity. Why would I want to miss it?

amother

Clematis

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 5:24 pm

tichellady wrote:

It was hard but honestly baby was really ok. It was harder for me than the baby

I have a few girls and now expecting a boy. I've been to a lot of brissim and I'm more emotional of the auspicious time it is to daven. That being said those babies aren't mine. As it gets closer to my due date I think about the bris from time to time. I think my biggest worry is making sure its done quick and well. Not so much of thr pain but im worried about how well the bris will get done. I'm also my afraid of how my mother will react as she cannot handle these things.

amother

Peru

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 5:42 pm

amother Pear wrote:

grateful I dont have boys yet. this is one thing I rly struggle with in my yiddishkeit. if I wasnt jewish and didnt have to, I would not circumcise.

Do you have girls? If they give birth when they grow up that's a whole lot more painful.

amother

Clematis

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 6:04 pm

amother Peru wrote:

Do you have girls? If they give birth when they grow up that's a whole lot more painful.

Definately! My mother is one of my biggest support people and we are extremely close but I know she would not want to see my labor let alone give birth. I mean there is a whole baby coming out of my ....lol. It's beyond amazing but it hurts!!!! LOL

Brit in Israel

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 1:24 pm

My baby maybe cried for 2 secs.
By the time he came back to me he was fast asleep and wasn't interested in nursing until 2.5 hrs from his previous feed even though they told me he will want to eat after the bris.

A mohel told me usually the baby is crying before the actual bris. The moment they start undressing the baby they are crying so it's not crying from pain especially.

It helped me that the night before the bris when the mohel came to check he asked to show me exactly what he will be doing, it gave such clarity know what would be happening and what's being cut. He also only used a gauze no full bandaid and told me to put on a double diaper for the next two days to soften the babies kicks on the sore area.
My sil has a mohel that says she needs to bath baby every 2 hrs during the day for 48 hrs. If you don't want to hear your baby cry or want to recover from birth make sure your mohel doesn't say this. Mine told me not to bath for 48 hrs

amother

Calendula

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 2:23 pm

ladYdI wrote:

But who comforts the baby right after the bris?

mushkamothers

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:00 pm

amother Calendula wrote:

But who comforts the baby right after the bris?

I'd never miss a bris for this reason. Bh I made 4. It doesn't get easier. I wouldn't do it it it's not a chok. It is a big mitzvah, and that's why I do it. That's it. Yes I tell myself that I use an amazing mohel, fhat baby isn't really hurt, that it's like a medical procedure etc but the fact is... it is a chok. It's also an honor and privilege to welcome my baby into the bris of Avraham and the Jewish people and honestly that's what makes me cry, repeating the pasuk. Yes as a jew we live by our blood. This won't be the first uncomfortable moment you have as a jew. Welcome to the tribe lol

amother

Cyan

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:10 pm

I got through my son’s bris with my mother, my grandmother, and my best friend.( My mother and grandmother did not go to their sons’ brissin.) It was hard, but I took him out and nursed him during the seudah and we both felt better! I don’t remember the crying lasting long. I attended my grandson’s bris during Covid. It was a very small event at home, so no escaping. He really cried for a very brief time. Rejoice in a healthy baby and for the important occasion. The crying will be over fast.