I love cosleeping | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 1:50 pm

There, I said it!

Me, who is a stickler for the rules, and DH even more so than I. It so happened that baby and I started co-sleeping 1/2 the night because she refuses to sleep in her crib after 4 AM, and if she does, then wakes up at 6. The first couple of nights I was nervous but we've figured it out.

She's sleeping longer, I don't have to get up every 15 mins to rock her back to sleep, and it feels great. It gives me this feeling that everything is as it should be, IDK, maybe it's hormonal.

Right now, she happens to be sick, and all I want is to comfort her and make her feel better, so having her in my bed feels really right right now. I know that all I wanted when I was sick growing up was cuddles with my mother.

I will say, I wouldn't do it with a newborn, but now that she's a bit bigger, I'm not as nervous.

In general, I'm starting to realize that many of the "recommendations" out there go against our natural instinct, which is to nurse to sleep and to keep babies close.

I'm not a convert yet, and still very much plan to continue crib sleeping, but this is all to say that I now understand why people do it.

amother

Geranium

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 1:53 pm

I'm with you. I love co sleeping, and have co slept with most of my babies. To me it feels utterly natural and the right way to do things. That being said you have to be honest with yourself, I am an extremely light sleeper. For those who fall into a very deep sleep it can be dangerous.

amother

Fuchsia ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 2:14 pm

Me too!!!

My baby turns around to smile at my sometimes and I just meeeeeeelt.
I used to think I’d never do it, I hated sharing a bed, and I’m overprotective with babies, but it happened and like you said, it just FEELS right.

There is no better feeling in the world than being up at 3 am and watching your baby’s chest rise and fall near you, and you feel the smell of their breath.

amother

Trillium

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 2:25 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

This. I did it with all my babies but I’m an extremely light sleeper and they slept in the crook of my arm. If they moved, I woke up. And even with that I thanked Hashem every morning that my babies were safe and sound because it can be dangerous. My babies wouldn’t sleep otherwise and I do love the feeling of having them close but you have to realize it’s still a risk.

LovesHashem ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 2:38 pm

I'm a deep sleeper but when it comes to my babies I'm aware of everything. It's like my body knows, I have a hard time sleeping even when theyre okay cuz sometimes I hear phantom noises.

Cosleeping is natural and actually a lot safer IMHO. Sleep deprivation is seriously not a joke! It's seriously dangerous.

↑ LovesHashem

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 2:40 pm

amother Trillium wrote:

Everything in life is a risk. I mean there's SIDS and plenty of babies who sadly die in safe cribs, car seats, baby bouncers, etc.

I thank Hashem every day for all my children and that they are safe and healthy I thank Hashem, as do all of you - ever day that Hashem returned our neshamos back to us

amother

↑ Lightgreen

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 2:47 pm

amother Azure wrote:

I've heard that cosleeping is much more dangerous when it's accidental cosleeping that happens when the parent is already overtired.

Yup! Thats why I started actually cosleeping with my kids. I kept falling asleep with them and it was terrifying!! Decided just to do it safely:)

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 2:47 pm

amother Azure wrote:

I've heard that cosleeping is much more dangerous when it's accidental cosleeping that happens when the parent is already overtired.

That’s true, but that’s not what’s being discussed here. We are talking about the conscious choice to cosleep.

Dolly Welsh ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 2:52 pm

Of course.

But the day will come when it's not possible anymore. The kid will then wonder why he/she is being banished to another bed. While this is convenient and very pleasant for now, it might be kinder to the kid to not raise the expectation that he/she will sleep with you forever. Kids have no way of knowing phrases like "this is just for when you are very little." They think, "this is how things are."

So do a bit of both maybe and get the kid accustomed to not being in your bed.

I read about annoyed husbands who, when the kid is six months or more - and that comes fast - have about had it, with the kid in the marital bed.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 2:55 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

Yes, this is what I'm worried about. But for now it's only half the night. Hopefully we'll move her into her own room after Pesach and can work on it then.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 3:01 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

That’s not what happens. No one just one day gets banished. When time is approaching for the child to be moved, there are conversations. Does anyone worry about a 6 month old “being banished” when a/he is moved out of mommy and daddy’s room?
I have had no problem with intimacy when I had my kids in my room. They go to sleep somewhere else, we go somewhere else, etc. We make it work. My guess is that many of the couples for whom it is an issue didn’t discuss cosleeping, or plan for it.

amother

Melon ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 3:04 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

This is literally what parenting is. Meeting their needs at each stage and helping them bridge to the next stage. For me, co sleeping at night and having them sleep alone for most naps works well.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 3:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

There, I said it!

In general, I'm starting to realize that many of the "recommendations" out there go against our natural instinct, which is to nurse to sleep and to keep babies close.
.

and this is how it starts.... Soon you'll be a homebirthing antivaxxing baby-wearing mama lol.

Don't worry, I do all of those things so it's not being said in a negative way.

amother

↑ Poppy ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 3:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes, this is what I'm worried about. But for now it's only half the night. Hopefully we'll move her into her own room after Pesach and can work on it then.

Don’t worry about this. Intimacy works itself out and no child needs to be banished.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 3:11 pm

amother Crimson wrote:

and this is how it starts.... Soon you'll be a homebirthing antivaxxing baby-wearing mama lol.

Don't worry, I do all of those things so it's not being said in a negative way.

I’m educated on vaccines and wish I could be more selective. I’m pro home birth…..but not for myself. I do baby wear :-)