What happened to her long stretch??

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

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amother

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 6:24 am

And how do I get it back?
My baby is 4 months old kah and not a good sleeper. She used to give me a long stretch many nights (4-6 hours) and eat and go back to sleep. For the last several weeks she won’t sleep longer than 3 hours and she often won’t settle easily when she wakes at night.

It takes forever to get her to bed at night. I give her formula then in hopes that it will help her sleep but it doesn’t make much of a difference. She usually falls asleep by 10/11.

Last night she went to sleep 10:30. Woke up at 1:30, nursed and went back to sleep after about half an hour, 45 minutes. Woke up again at 5:30, nursed, and is currently wide awake at 6:20 with no sign of going back to sleep before it’s time for me to wake up…

She doesn’t take a pacifier unfortunately.

Please help me troubleshoot! Is it a growth spurt? Sleep regression? Is there something I can do to reclaim that long stretch? I am so tired!!

lemonlime

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 6:28 am

Can't know for sure but the 4 month sleep regression is infamous and supposedly can last for a while and be really tough. The babies sleep habits shift as they became more aware of their surroundings and begin sleeping less like newborns. I don't think every baby gets it's so bad, mine only had mild short periods of wake ups, but some people say it's awful.

amother

Orange

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 6:33 am

Yeah, 4 month sleep regression. Can be really bad.

One tip is not to think of it as how to "go back" to how it was before - understand that your baby is in a new more aware stage and needs to learn good sleep for this stage. May be the same things that helped before will help now too, but maybe it will be different things! Basically, try anything and everything till you find what works. With my baby learning new good sleep habits took about 2 months but iyH you will have success quickly!

amother

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:02 am

Thank you both! She finally went back to sleep at 6:45 and stayed asleep until 8:30, long enough for me to get my kids off to school and eat breakfast.

She’s not the greatest napper either. Some days she’ll take one good one and another short one. Some days only short ones. Isn’t she tired?? I do pay attention to wake windows and all that but it’s hard in the evenings when my other kids (teens and down) need my attention at all hours and when she takes little mini catnaps.

Any tips for getting her through this? How do I teach her good sleep habits when she nurses to sleep and won’t take a paci, and definitely won’t fall asleep on her own?

I already keep the room dark and quiet, have a bedtime routine, and minimize stimulation as much as possible.

amother

Clover

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:05 am

amother OP wrote:

It’s the 4 month sleep regression /progression(so many new skills are being learned! It’s a good thing for them but so annoying for us parents..). It will pass soon. 4 months is a major regression- most people say it’s the worst one.

amother

Clover

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:06 am

amother OP wrote:

Short naps are super super developmentally normal at this age. Naps tend to lengthen around 6 months. 30 min/ cat naps are very common nothing to worry about. It’s okay if sleep is broken up as long as over the 24 hours she’s getting enough.

You can baby wear or contact nap if you want to lengthen nap. But most babies won’t take long naps at their age on their own.

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:06 am

The 4 month sleep regression is so hard and exhausting. Just keep using healthy sleep habits and it will eventually pass.

amother

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:08 am

amother Clover wrote:

If her catnaps were 30 minutes I’d be okay with it. We’re talking like 5-15 minutes. And then she’s so cranky until the next one.

amother

Clover

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:09 am

amother OP wrote:

If her catnaps were 30 minutes I’d be okay with it. We’re talking like 5-15 minutes. And then she’s so cranky until the next one.

Even if contact napping? It’s the only way my baby napped nicely at that age.

amother

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:09 am

amother Nemesia wrote:

The 4 month sleep regression is so hard and exhausting. Just keep using healthy sleep habits and it will eventually pass.

Like what? Am I missing anything except the “drowsy but awake” which is simply not a reality for this baby? If she’s awake when I put her down she wants to party.

amother

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:11 am

amother Clover wrote:

Even if contact napping? It’s the only way my baby napped nicely at that age.

Yes! She pops her little head up after a while. ETA she won’t sleep in the car or stroller either

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:19 am

amother OP wrote:

Like what? Am I missing anything except the “drowsy but awake” which is simply not a reality for this baby? If she’s awake when I put her down she wants to party.

I don’t think drowsy but awake is necessary at that age. I always fed my kids to sleep. It’s only an issue when every time they awake at night they won’t go back to sleep unless they’re eating. But if you don’t have that issue then you can just feed to sleep. A disclaimer though, my babies were all bottle fed. With nursing it’s more complicated because babies nurse not just for food but for comfort. So if your baby will ONLY fall asleep nursing you may have to stop nursing as soon as they start falling asleep and stick a pacifier in their mouth so they can still suck but not be relying only on you.

By healthy sleep habits, I mean that you shouldn’t resort to using methods to put baby to sleep out of desperation, that your baby will then come to rely on to fall asleep. Examples are starting to put them to sleep in a swing/carriage/your bed, contact sleeping with them all night, feeding them at every single wake up if you know they’re not hungry, etc.

4 months is still so tiny, and I know it’s so hard. With some of my kids I found the 4 month sleep regression even worse than the newborn phase because my life routine was already more demanding- back at work, not getting suppers sent etc, but then suddenly I was thrown back into getting no sleep when I was already used to getting a normal stretch.

I never let me kids cry it out my kids but at the 4 month sleep regression I would try to avoid taking them out if their crib every time they woke up (sometimes every hour all night!!). I would stand over their crib with a firm hand on their back or pat them firmly on their bottom, shush them, try my hardest to get them to go back to sleep without taking them out. Sometimes it worked, other times they would cry so I had to take them out but I tried to keep it as short as possible and only feed them if I knew they were hungry. It was so tiring but eventually without you even realizing they start sleeping longer and longer once their brain learns to adjust to the new sleep wave patterns (this is what the 4 month sleep regression is).

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:20 am

I think nursing to sleep is a great sleep habit at that age Smile

When that didn't work, I'd rock my baby in her stroller, as long as it took. On her stomach. She usually slept well there.

tichellady

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:22 am

Baby sleep is usually terrible at this age. I didn’t figure it out so I have no advice for you but it does usually get better with time

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:23 am

OP I just read your post again and I see you wrote she nursed at 10:30, 1:30, and 5:30. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for a 4 month old going through a sleep regression to be fed after 4 hours of sleep, especially a nursing baby. But if it’s less than that and you know she isn’t hungry you can try to put her back to sleep without nursing. You may need your husband to do this for you because if she smells you she may not give up until she gets to nurse.

amother

Clover

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:25 am

amother OP wrote:

Like what? Am I missing anything except the “drowsy but awake” which is simply not a reality for this baby? If she’s awake when I put her down she wants to party.

It’s not a reality for most babies. Most babies need to fall asleep while nursing, rocking etc. it’s normal. It’s a myth that the way they fall asleep affects how they sleep.

amother

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 10:56 am

Thank you everyone for advice and commiseration! I’m reading all the posts but can’t respond to them right now. I appreciate you all taking the time to help me out.

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