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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
amother
OP
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:31 pm
DS is a young toddler (just under 1 y.o.) and loves to do whatever he knows I don't want him to do. Now that he knows I don't want him to bite me while nursing, he does it every time! And stopping doesn't work, because he waits till the end and then chomps! Then he doesn't care if I stop. Is there anything to do???
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:35 pm
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amother
Moonstone
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:36 pm
Just remember that it’s not malicious, he’s exploring the world and likely your reaction too
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amother
OP
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:38 pm
You mean for a few minutes or for good?
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amother
OP
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:39 pm
amother Moonstone wrote: | Just remember that it’s not malicious, he’s exploring the world and likely your reaction too |
It makes me so mad though, it's the one thing I can't stand!
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lilytee
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:42 pm
He is enjoying your reaction. I would without reacting with more than a neutral ‘I can’t let you do that, that hurts’ comment, put him down every time. It’ll only take a few times until he stops.
Also please read Janet Lansbury book and blog to understand why he is acting this way and how to avoid it.
Good luck.
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:51 pm
amother OP wrote: | You mean for a few minutes or for good? |
For good. He is one. He can get his nutrition elsewhere.
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lilytee
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:55 pm
That would be a terrible message to give to a child. You misbehave, I disconnect? That is sending them a message that love is conditional.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:57 pm
lilytee wrote: | He is enjoying your reaction. I would without reacting with more than a neutral ‘I can’t let you do that, that hurts’ comment, put him down every time. It’ll only take a few times until he stops.
Also please read Janet Lansbury book and blog to understand why he is acting this way and how to avoid it.
Good luck. |
Thank you for the recommendation! I'm looking into it.
It's sooo hard not to react though. I tried to do exactly that, but I just can't seem to hold back my reaction when I get hurt.
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lilytee
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 1:59 pm
amother OP wrote: | Thank you for the recommendation! I'm looking into it.
It's sooo hard not to react though. I tried to do exactly that, but I just can't seem to hold back my reaction when I get hurt. |
It definitely takes practice, But it is a grateful to have in your arsenal!
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amother
OP
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:00 pm
In the moment when I get angry, I feel like doing this, but I don't think I really will. I really do want to continue nursing. Even if I wanted to stop, I wouldn't even know how (he's my first). Would you just stop cold turkey?
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amother
OP
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:01 pm
lilytee wrote: | That would be a terrible message to give to a child. You misbehave, I disconnect? That is sending them a message that love is conditional. |
I feel so guilty because I do disconnect emotionally when he does it, I just can't deal with him in the moment.
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:03 pm
lilytee wrote: | That would be a terrible message to give to a child. You misbehave, I disconnect? That is sending them a message that love is conditional. |
She will stop at some point anyway. Why does she have to keep getting bit?
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:04 pm
amother OP wrote: | In the moment when I get angry, I feel like doing this, but I don't think I really will. I really do want to continue nursing. Even if I wanted to stop, I wouldn't even know how (he's my first). Would you just stop cold turkey? |
I've stopped cold turkey. It hurts for a few days no big deal. If you are resentful from nursing I don't see why you feel bad stopping he is already one.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:04 pm
amother Turquoise wrote: | She will stop at some point anyway. Why does she have to keep getting bit? |
How do I stop though? I'm trying to night wean and can't even figure that out.
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lilytee
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:07 pm
amother OP wrote: | I feel so guilty because I do disconnect emotionally when he does it, I just can't deal with him in the moment. |
Disconnecting in the moment is not the same as disconnecting for good.
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lilytee
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:08 pm
amother Turquoise wrote: | She will stop at some point anyway. Why does she have to keep getting bit? |
She doesn’t. There are ways to stop the behavior without stopping cold turkey.
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:09 pm
amother OP wrote: | How do I stop though? I'm trying to night wean and can't even figure that out. |
Just stop. Give him a bottle or sippy cup instead. Or have your dh give it to him.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:09 pm
amother Turquoise wrote: | I've stopped cold turkey. It hurts for a few days no big deal. If you are resentful from nursing I don't see why you feel bad stopping he is already one. |
I feel bad because he relies on it so much for comfort. He won't take a pacifier or bottle. I put him to sleep nursing most of the time. I'm trying to drop a feeding at night and keep caving and nursing him anyway. It's hard enough to drop one feeding let alone stop entirely
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amother
Silver
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Mon, Apr 08 2024, 2:10 pm
I'm careful not to react--that's exactly what gets them to bite again and again. I squirm, but silently. Also, I pinch my baby's nose to get her to open her mouth to breathe. This also serves as a little consequence. She doesn't love when I pinch her nose so she stops.
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