Can't decide if proud of myself or not.

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach

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amother

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 10:28 pm

For deciding to not take money out of savings and spending pesach at home instead of out of state.
One the one hand I've been so depressed the last couple of weeks because we are staying home. My family is suffering from my depressive state that I wonder if I made the right decision or not..

amother

Hyssop

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 10:41 pm

One of the biggest life skills I needed to learn after I got married was making a decision and not looking back. My mother rehashes every decision she ever made in her life and when I got married dh made me realize how unhealthy it is.
Took me a few years of self talk and reading up about diff topics but I really think you would be happier, not depressed, if you would do the same. U made a decision about yt. It's not life altering. But a lil extra thing to make it as pleasant as possible Eg: an extra magazine if you'll be bored or lonely. If u don't enjoy it this year, you'll make a diff decision next time. Don't make your family suffer.

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 10:43 pm

All I can tell you is I made an impulsive decision that cost 4000 from savings and I am having stress and anxiety about it and really regret it

zaq

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 10:43 pm

Decide to be proud of yourself. Then take a small sliver of the money you saved and buy something nice for yourself and for the family.

I have no statistics, but I would not be at all surprised if rates of depression among observant Jewish women skyrocket before Pesach and then decline.

amother

Sand

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 10:44 pm

I believe that a good decision. It's not about the result, but about how you made it.

Did one use good values? Did one think it through rather than act impulsively? Did one research, or ask for help, or ask a rav if appropriate?

If the answer is yes, then a good decision was made. If the result was less than hoped for, that is certainly disappointing, but doesn't mean that the person making a decision made a mistake.

May Hashem give you strength to carry out your plan, happiness with your family and yom tov and yourself, blessing for parnossa as you were so responsible, and menuchas hanefesh.

Yes, you should be proud of yourself!

Chag kasher v'sameach!

Boca00

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 11:10 pm

Regret is no fun, sorry you’re going through that.

I’ve heard that a good way to look at it is the past is hashgacha pratis and the future is in your hands or something like that.

You made a decision with the info you had at the time, and now that the decision is done- understand its because HaShem wanted it to happen that way. HaShem led you to make this decision and this is where you are meant to be spending this Pesach.

(In the future you can always make a different decision.)

I hope you have a beautiful Yom Tov!

amother

Pansy

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 11:18 pm

Let’s revisit a few weeks after pessach

DrMom

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 11:26 pm

Good decision!

You can go away for a Shabbat or two
later on for a fraction of the price.

amother

Freesia

Wed, Apr 17 2024, 11:27 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

I need help making decisions. What topics did you find helpful?

amother

Daisy

Thu, Apr 18 2024, 1:54 am

Since the decision is made, and it’s too late to go back, then it was definitely the right decision. Hopefully you can take a break after for a lot less money. I am also like you and I have to learn to let things go once a decision is made.

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