Davening too long | Imamother

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Davening too long

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amother

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 11:48 am

My daughters are 7 and 9 and they have checklists of what they need to say every day. 9 year old davening takes about 20-30 minutes. 7 year old at least 15-20. Yes they're singing most of it but they have no patience, and they're pretty studious, serious kids. I don't like pressuring them to daven. Should I just let them skip? I don't want them to lose the feeling for tefillah either but right now we're about a week into vacation and they're already burnt out, especially the 9 year old who is saying shmoneh esrei.
Looking for tips, advice....

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 12:00 pm

Can you split it up? Daven until shmone esre earlier, take a break, play, and then do the rest
With Hallel, Sefira, and Musaaf if that's included it should divide it up into manageable chunks

amother

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 12:26 pm

That's an idea. Thanks. I'll ask them. I think I'm general is just too much for them. But maybe I'm projecting my own feelings onto them

ttbtbm

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 12:35 pm

I tell my kids that tefila is OUR opportunity to connect to HKBH, He doesn’t need our tefilos - WE need them. I also tell them that until they understand what they are saying it can be hard to say so many words. I make a list of the most important tefilos from each section and tell them to try to say these. I tell them that if they are up to it, they can for sure daven more but that I’ll be able to sign their checklists if the minimum is said. I really keep it to a minimum. What I put on their list is individualized to each child’s age, temperament…. Davening is an avoda - it takes work and each person is in their own place and has their own abilities. I try to use the chart as a framework but make it more doable for them.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 12:54 pm

I don’t follow their lists. I don’t even look at them.
I try to remind them every day to daven and in my home at that age it means Brachos and shema. (I don’t make the 9 year old say shemone esrei)
If they want to fill in their charts it’s on them.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 3:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

That's an idea. Thanks. I'll ask them. I think I'm general is just too much for them. But maybe I'm projecting my own feelings onto them

Has it been hard for them to keep up or does it look to you like a large amount?

amother

Geranium

Thu, Apr 25 2024, 3:04 pm

My kids are 8 and 12 I make them davenport brachos right after breakfast they usually like to play after that then we take a break a little before the men come home to finish davening and set the table. Since the two go together it's not forgotten. Hallel is usually said then too but I told my older one she can say it anytime in the afternoon before mincha. Once or twice a year I tell my kids to skip something. This happened on the second day of pesach they woke up at 1:00 same time my husband was ready for kiddush. I made my husband wait for them to daven everything besides besides hallel.. but I told them both to davenport brachos then just varuch shamor, ashrei, yishtabach then Simona esrai

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