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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Apr 25 2024, 6:04 pm
Yom Tov I was looking out the window watching boys going to shul. My bachur hasn't gone in a while, hasn't put on Tefillin. It's not his fault and I think I'm ok but then I see all these normal kids and it really hurts.
I'm sure I'm not the only one.
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amother
Midnight
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Thu, Apr 25 2024, 6:38 pm
I’m sorry
It’s really hard to watch other “normal” kids doing the things we ache for our kids to be able to do so easily ❤️❤️
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amother
Mocha
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Thu, Apr 25 2024, 8:49 pm
You are not the only one! 
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Apr 25 2024, 9:13 pm
I can say for myself, the real horror show was yet to come. How about friend's kids getting married, having grandchildren, making simchas? DH and I are only 2 for yomtov meals. Every yomtov. We have never made a simcha in our house yet we've lived here long enough to have paid off the mortgage years ago.
You need to make your peace with it or it will eat away at you. Yes, some have it worse but a lot have it better too.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Apr 25 2024, 10:14 pm
| chocolate moose wrote: | I can say for myself, the real horror show was yet to come. How about friend's kids getting married, having grandchildren, making simchas? DH and I are only 2 for yomtov meals. Every yomtov. We have never made a simcha in our house yet we've lived here long enough to have paid off the mortgage years ago.
You need to make your peace with it or it will eat away at you. Yes, some have it worse but a lot have it better too. |
This was really not helpful but I'm sorry for your pain! 🙏🏼
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amother
Sienna
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Thu, Apr 25 2024, 10:39 pm
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Also, you really don’t know that they are “normal” maybe they go to shul because that’s where they can get alcohol (just as an example)
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amother
Almond
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Thu, Apr 25 2024, 10:41 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Yom Tov I was looking out the window watching boys going to shul. My bachur hasn't gone in a while, hasn't put on Tefillin. It's not his fault and I think I'm ok but then I see all these normal kids and it really hurts.
I'm sure I'm not the only one. |
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amother
OP
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Thu, Apr 25 2024, 10:42 pm
| amother Sienna wrote: | | Also, you really don’t know that they are “normal” maybe they go to shul because that’s where they can get alcohol (just as an example) |
Yes, of course. But I'm not assuming that. Is that what I should think when a kid passes by my house?
It's ok to feel pain.
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amother
Lemon
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Sun, Apr 28 2024, 6:47 am
| amother OP wrote: | Yom Tov I was looking out the window watching boys going to shul. My bachur hasn't gone in a while, hasn't put on Tefillin. It's not his fault and I think I'm ok but then I see all these normal kids and it really hurts.
I'm sure I'm not the only one. |
Does your son have a diagnosis? That will probably explain the why he doesn’t go like other boys. I have a son like this. It’s extremely difficult.
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amother
Heather
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Sun, Apr 28 2024, 7:26 am
It's hard op, really hard. As much as I have accepted my child's diagnosis and love them with it all (not despite it all) there are simply times where the contrast is hard. It just stings. The skills and milestones others reach easily, the considerations others don't even realize they don't have to make and the things others simply don't need to think about.... Sometimes it just hurts! It's ok to be with it and recognize it, they are important and valid feelings and can be overwhelming at times. But hopefully they will pass. Getting back on routine and having others kids in my face less helps me.
Sending you love and strength and the knowledge that your child is perfect the way God wants him and you are handpicked to be his mother and are best for him
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Cookin4days
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Sun, Apr 28 2024, 7:36 am
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Yes I feel you especially around holiday times surrounded by kids DC age it’s hard and I shed tears but I look at my positives and pray the positives always outweighs the negatives
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