S/o judging other parents

amother

Lavender

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 1:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is not what I had in mind. This is another judgemental thread. Stop the judging.

Op. I think you're giving a very bland and easy to agree with statement. Don't judge. Ok. what does that actually mean and is it really possible.

There was a thread recently about this and I'll repeat what I said there.

We are all human and have minds. We literally can't help but form opinions about things. A negative opinions is essentially judging.

So If I see my neighbor allow her young kids to ride around on their bikes in the street without helmets, I have an opinion and judge. What about you op? No opinion?

If I hear my neighbor constantly yelling and shrieking at her kids, losing her temper and calling them names, I judge. What about you op? No opinion?

If my neighbors are making loud parties frequently, playing loud music and being inconsiderate of others, I judge. Any opinion op?

And of course sometimes there's room to not judge and be DLZ. If I'm in the park and I see a mother yelling at her kids, I can give the benefit of the doubt about many things. Maybe this is the first time in 10 years she's lost her temper. Maybe her kids have been pushing her buttons all day. Maybe she's going thru a hard time in life.

But to basically say that when we identify bad character we shouldn't have an opinion is ridiculous. We all have opinions including you op.

zaq

Sun, Apr 28 2024, 3:37 pm

OP, forgive me if I'm stepping on your toes. What I believe OP means is simply that everyone has a different parenting style, and just because someone does things differently from you doesn't mean she's a bad parent. Nobody is talking here about failing to intervene when children are in danger or failing to teach them basic good manners and respect for the law. I think OP may have started this thread in response to the "Dear sil" post in which a woman ranted about how her sil "parentifies" her daughter by having the child put younger siblings to bed and wake them up in the morning. Obviously that OP thinks giving young children responsibility and refraining from public displays of affection is horrible parenting, but her sil's parenting style is none of her business.