Switching to chalav Yisroel hard on the kids

amother

Gardenia

Thu, May 02 2024, 1:25 am

We live in Israel and when we’re here my husband keeps it. I didn’t keep it in America and didn’t really feel like I wanted to do it here. So I buy things with an OUD but he just doesn’t need them. Can you just do that for your kids? We were married for many years before we moved here and he did not expect the whole family to take it on. He might’ve liked it but we were very used to certain things and I did not like the pressure to take it on, so I’m thinking if your kids are older, they might feel the same. Anything I cook with is definitely cy

kenz

Thu, May 02 2024, 1:44 am

I wouldn’t force it. They’re big enough to really resent it. I changed as an adult and there are definitely things I still miss, even after more than 20 years. I think you can tell them it’s something you would like to try so you’ll be buying CY from now on but you’re not going to be a policeman and they should do as they feel is right.

amother

Crystal

Thu, May 02 2024, 2:35 am

I work in MH and with kids at risk.
You are setting your family up for a huge struggle. The kids are big. If they were under 4 I wouldn't say this but they are thinking kids with opinions, needs and wants.
Why are you making the switch? Is this a part of a greater pattern of taking on chumrahs or minhagim? Kids react to change. Many start to feel resentment that things are forced on them. Or that changes that affect them are made without consulting them. They can then resent all of kashrus and then other halachos. They can feel confused, frustrated, jealous of friends who can (and attend the same Schools/shuls), resentment, disillusioned with yiddishkeit...

Don't be pressured by those who say it's for their neshama. When their kid stops keeping Shabbos, kashrus and other basic halachos...

it is not a scare tactic. I have seen this firsthand.
If you do it, do it carefully. Slowly. And talk to your kids. Find out if they are on board. Don't pressure or use fear tactics. And definitely don't do it as a refuah shelaima because if CV the person is niftar it can rock their world and cause even worse resentments and anger.

Maybe dinner is always CY. Family foods. But snacks, individual portioned items are their normals CS stuff.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, May 02 2024, 2:47 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

I buy food for the whole house as well. My husband keeps cy, I don’t and the kids don’t. The things he will eat (milk, cheese, etc) I buy challah Yisrael. The things that he won’t partake of (ice cream, snacks, yogurt, etc) I don’t buy cy. I know it’s hard, but maybe you can do something like that for the kids? They’re still young, and this is definitely going to be hard for them. Also keep in mind that this is a decision that is being made for them, and they don’t really have a say. When my husband decided that he wanted to be makpid, I made it very clear that this was something that is only for him. If and when I or the kids wanted to switch, it would be up to us.

I grew up like this. When I turned 12, I decided I wanted to keep CY. It wasn't easy then. We really didn't have a lot of options. 3 of my siblings followed me when they turned 12/13. The 2 that are way younger than me eat chalav stam. They didn't have the peer pressure Wink

.

I was never resentful because I choose it.

But honestly, I don't understand the hype of chalav yisroel. It's a sound heter in the US. Chodosh is really a bigger deal.

amother

Brickred

Thu, May 02 2024, 3:05 am

Take it on for you and dh fully. Let the kids know that you & your dh are doing that. Assure them that they can still have whatever they want. The older 2 children are too old to be switched over without it coming from their own will without resentment. And therefore the younger one needs to be treated the same to avoid resentment.

Tell them they should feel free to try the cy products or request non cy. It will be up to them whatever they want to do.

That's really the only option that can go well. Chances are mathematically that at least one will fully choose in eventually and at least one will be majority cy, and one who will stick to wanting to keep eating reeses and all the other stuff. But you'll avoid anger, resentment and all the detrimental pitfalls while displaying a beautiful example of your wanting to grow in Torah and mitzvahs.

Ema of 5

Thu, May 02 2024, 8:55 am

amother Slateblue wrote:

.

I was never resentful because I choose it.

But honestly, I don't understand the hype of chalav yisroel. It's a sound heter in the US. Chodosh is really a bigger deal.

BH no peer pressure for my kids :-) our community and their schools are diverse

amother

Thu, May 02 2024, 9:23 am

amother Crystal wrote:

Why does everyone keep assuming that this has anything to do with keeping more churmros?? I’ve said a few times it’s only this and for various reasons it’s something we’ve chosen, and as I said I’m trying to do it in the most gentle way possible

amother

Crystal

Thu, May 02 2024, 9:35 am

amother OP wrote:

I didn't assume. I asked.
Can you explain why you are making this radical change? What the impetus is? You will have to explain it to the kids.

Don't force or it will backfire.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, May 02 2024, 9:55 am

We eat OU-D, so maybe I'm not the best person to answer your question. That said, using CY milk, butter, and cheese shouldn't be any significant change. Yogurts maybe more so, but unless they have some real favorites you should be able to buy a variety to let them try out some new brands and see what they like. There is no comparison to most chocolate, especially since most of the heimish brands only make pareve chocolate. Look into some Israeli brands that make dairy chocolate and see if those are CY.

But the main reason I chose to answer your question is the ice cream. There is no CY ice cream that even comes close to the standard ice cream you can buy in any grocery store. However, there's a solution to that issue and that is to make your own! We got an ice cream machine as a family afikomen gift a few years ago and our kids love picking flavors to try and mix-ins to add. It's pretty easy to make your own ice cream and far superior to any CY stuff you can buy and you are pretty much only limited by your imagination when it comes to flavors.

amother

Cherry

Thu, May 02 2024, 9:59 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes. We can get basically anything. But we may not buy as much of it because it’s more expensive. And also, they know you can’t compare anything to a Reese’s bar or Breuer’s ice cream Wink

also we buy a snack at Aldi called Swiss rolls. They like that, can’t find it in chalav Yisroel. Maybe I’ll just get for them to take to school but not way in the house as a way to transition

Pride of the farm makes a good CY Ice cream. See if they'll like it. Also option to make ice cream more special with toppings you wouldn't normally buy, as they adjust.

There are pareve Reese's bars these days. No clue how it compares.

amother

Thu, May 02 2024, 10:01 am

amother Cherry wrote:

We often get pride of the farm already. They don’t mind it. The harder thing is the individual cones (like with nuts on it). The thing is that because from Walmart it’s so cheap they have it more often than I would say they can have the chalav Yisroel one, so I have to adjust my cost expectations for a while so they don’t feel deprived

amother

Thu, May 02 2024, 10:02 am

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Butter is different haven’t found anything like land o lakes in chalav Yisroel.

Ice cream machine sounds fun. Does it actually come out cheaper? Does it really taste as good?

naturalmom5

Thu, May 02 2024, 1:55 pm

tichellady wrote:

Just do it yourself and let the kids make their own decision

EXACTLY

dont play headgames with your kids or tbey will rebel BIG TIME
You want to feel all frum and wonderful , do it yourself
When your children become gedolim present them with alternatives and incentives to switch

amother

Cyclamen

Thu, May 02 2024, 2:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes as they say you need to put your money where your mouth is, u need to show you are willing to spend money on this because it is important to u

amother

Cyclamen

Thu, May 02 2024, 2:05 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

This is so disrespectful, she is asking for advice and wanting to take her kids needs in account no need to speak this way.

Comptroller

Thu, May 02 2024, 4:02 pm

Much also depends on where you live and how available chalav yisrael is.

So maybe you do not have to be rigid, and can adapt to the situation. If you decide to cook using CY only - so be it. But don't start restricting yoghurt because the CY version is much more expensive (as would be the case in many places).

Comptroller

Thu, May 02 2024, 4:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

Butter is different haven’t found anything like land o lakes in chalav Yisroel.

Ice cream machine sounds fun. Does it actually come out cheaper? Does it really taste as good?

You can make your own icecream.

The thing with ice cream machine is this:

The pros (ice cafés) have ice cream machines that spin really, really quickly. They are very expensive, not in the range of a regular household, but this is what makes this very smooth icecream.

the machines you can buy for a household are nowhere near the same quality. They might make a rather good icecream if you eat it immediatly, but if you freeze it at -18°C, the advantage you had from the ice cream machine gets lost.

So I just have good receipes for milchig ice creams (based on whipped cream and whipped egg whites), and they are as good as what you would get with an amateur machine.

What I use a lot are popsicle moulds (for milchig popsicles) and cups for individual portions. And if you use wood sticks with the popsicle moulds, that you can throw away after use, the children can even eat them when leaving the house.