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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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amother
OP
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 Sat, May 04 2024, 11:02 am
Davening is longggg. Not all boys can sit. What goes on at your shul ? Does your shul have a special program for them? Do they play outside during davening and randomly come in when they can? Do they stay inside shul and leave for breaks? Do they sit the whole time? Do they stay home?
Today at our shop I noticed a group of about 15 boys ages 7-10 playing tag outside of shul (my son one of them) and a group of about 9 twelve year old boys shmoozing outside shul during kriyas hatorah. (Their fathers called them back inside for mussaf). As a young kid, I always sat next to my mother throughout all of davening. Was what I saw concerning? Or is this normal and the kids will sit through davening when they mature?
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amother
Thistle
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Sat, May 04 2024, 11:37 am
| amother OP wrote: | Davening is longggg. Not all boys can sit. What goes on at your shul ? Does your shul have a special program for them? Do they play outside during davening and randomly come in when they can? Do they stay inside shul and leave for breaks? Do they sit the whole time? Do they stay home?
Today at our shop I noticed a group of about 15 boys ages 7-10 playing tag outside of shul (my son one of them) and a group of about 9 twelve year old boys shmoozing outside shul during kriyas hatorah. (Their fathers called them back inside for mussaf). As a young kid, I always sat next to my mother throughout all of davening. Was what I saw concerning? Or is this normal and the kids will sit through davening when they mature? |
so so age appropriate and normal
BH for a healthy connection with shul
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amother
DarkYellow
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Sat, May 04 2024, 1:07 pm
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I know many Shuls have ''Davening and a little learning about the Parsha''for girls ages 2-10. Boys I have seen from 2-8. By our shul you can go out and play with friends. Streets are closed so its not dangerous with cars. Many families will not send their boys to shul if they can't sit. You need to do what's best for your family.
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amother
Gardenia
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Sat, May 04 2024, 7:29 pm
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I used to worry that my son would not want to ever sit in shul. He and his friends would be in and out of davening and playing outside. Around 11, it began to change. By bar mitzvah, he was happily inside. My Rabbi growing up would always say that he would prefer kids making noise and playing in shul than not there at all. Totally agree that it should be a happy and welcoming place that they should acclimate to for a more serious purpose.
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Raw
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Sat, May 04 2024, 7:33 pm
Depends on the child. My 8 year old stays in shul 95% of the time, davens loudly, follows every word of kriah, etc.
My 12 is bored, does an abbreviated davening, and leaves the second he can.
I try not to make an issue about it because I’d rather he comes to shul and does little than doesn’t want to come at all.
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mha3484
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Sat, May 04 2024, 7:36 pm
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One shul we go to has boys groups with a rebbe for those ages.
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amother
Impatiens
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Sat, May 04 2024, 7:39 pm
Our shul does groups, one for kids age 3-6 and another for ages 7-11. Boys and girls together. The groups start 1 hour after the start of schachris and run until it's time for kiddush. The kids daven, then do parsha-related learning, activities, and games. They get little tchachke prizes.
For the hour before groups start, my 3 year old is in babysitting and my kids 6-10 play in the shul library or outside if the weather is good.
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amother
Silver
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Sat, May 04 2024, 9:53 pm
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My kids go to shul around 5. They play outside. They have chess games and comic books for rainy days. Kids are very excited to go to shul to play. The fathers call them in for very important parts. In my opinion the older boys aren't davening enough and the younger boys are given too much freedom. But I get a break, as long as the shul is ok with the occasional hash wiped up coffee spills and messed up bathrooms. The fathers watch them as well as a man/father can.
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amother
Amethyst
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Sat, May 04 2024, 9:58 pm
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Im in boro park for reference. Boys here mostly play outside at that age. I feel someone should be supervising cuz they can be pretty rowdy and sometimes destructive but there isn't. Dh davens in multiple souls and says some fathers are very strict and keep boys inside but most let run and play.
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amother
Seagreen
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Sat, May 04 2024, 11:31 pm
My husband doesn't take/let my 8 yr go to shul ,
Early with him.
Since he says shul isnt a babysitting service.
When hes old enough to sit and daven he can come.
I did take my little boys to shul for mussaf yt.
My 11 yr old goes with my husband and davens, but also they have tons of (comic) books, so they all read and do play outside by leining.
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Comptroller
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Sat, May 04 2024, 11:53 pm
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Up to 10, they play when they want, once they near bar mitzva they do more and more davening.
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