Vacations | Imamother

amother

Wed, May 08 2024, 9:50 pm

My husband never needs gifts but he loves to travel and that means the world to him...
he always needs to work so hard persuading me to go with him... its a big deal... with all the packing and arrangements for the kids...
I always enjoy in the end but I feel stupid from friends/family that I leave family behind so often....
he is dreaming of going to south africa... not one part of it interests me.. not the long travel time... not the animals... not leaving the kids behind.. and its no vacation..
what do I do?
I told him to find a group of friends but no one can afford it now or cannot travel now...
he is desperate beyond to go already and officially im gonna be joining Sad

im spoiled and still sad.. lol
what to do, what to do?

amother

Valerian

Wed, May 08 2024, 10:05 pm

Is every couple of years often? We’ve gone anywhere from 2-5 days, nothing international or extravagant. We don’t go when we have a baby and the length and whether we fly or stay local depends on finances and whatever else is going on at the time. We are lucky to have local parents who believe that couples going away alone is valuable and are willing to move into our house while we’re gone. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have that, I can’t see it being relaxing if I had to make a ton of complicated arrangements for the kids but it’s really an incredible thing for our marriage.

amother

cornflower

Wed, May 08 2024, 10:08 pm

If you’re not interested in going , why not have him travel by himself? My husband travels alone because it’s not worth it for me to leave the children with other people over night.

amother

Rainbow

Wed, May 08 2024, 10:08 pm

I don't know where you live, but there are a few people in my city who would move into my house and take care of kids mid week.
It's not cheap, but maybe a better option for you not too be busy with arrangements and put everyone out.

giftedmom

Wed, May 08 2024, 10:12 pm

I go once a year. This year I didn’t because the person who moved into my house for a few years wasn’t available in the winter and by the time she offered it was already too close to Purim.
I might still go but lots of things have to fall into place.
South Africa is magical, particularly Cape Town. It’s not all about animals.
If you enjoy in the end then why not

amother

Bone

Wed, May 08 2024, 10:17 pm

I didn't vote.
We aim for once a year, but it doesn't always happen as I don't leave behind children under the age of 3.5-4.
When we go, it's for 2-4 days.

amother

DarkViolet

Thu, May 09 2024, 12:12 am

It seems like you can afford it, and you do appreciate that this is an indulgence that most people can’t afford.

You will need to have a budget to set yourself up well, but it’s a part of the expense. If you can afford a trip like that, you pay a few thousand extra to have your family taken care of. Perhaps do trips less frequently to allow for the bigger budget.

A lot depends on your kids ages. The best would be if you find someone, preferably a family member, to move into your house and take over. Order from a cook for homemade food to make it easier for the caretaker, and have cleaning help every day when you’re not there.

If you do send your kids away, make sure to gift handsomely to make it worth their while.

Yes, it’s expensive, but it needs to be part of the budget for traveling.

Also, please make sure to also take trips with your family. If your husband likes to travel, they should also benefit, not just pay the price.

amother

Thistle

Thu, May 09 2024, 12:25 am

We had some really nice vacations before we had kids, but since we've had kids we only went away once without them and that was 10 years ago. We've actually had offers from our parents to babysit but it's much more complicated now with a bunch of children on different schedules than it was to go away when we just had one child. We do a family trip once a year so we do travel somewhat, although those are usually road trips so we don't get to explore exotic locations.

OP, if it's so important to your husband to travel, have you tried putting him in charge of making arrangements so it's not such a burden on you? Do you enjoy it once you're away?

amother

Hydrangea

Thu, May 09 2024, 3:05 am

We do occasionally do this, but only for 1-2 nights. I have been on quite a few solo overnight trips which were incredible too! Soo restorative and enjoyable!

amother

Maroon

Thu, May 09 2024, 6:20 am

Do it. Life is too short. Buy the shoes, eat the cake. Traveling to South Africa is such a opportunity and you shouldn't miss out sharing it with your husband. We travel often and it's our passion. We love all the memories it makes and cherish all the photos.

amother

Thu, May 09 2024, 4:43 pm

Thanks for all responses and input.
I live in BP. any leads to a move in sitter? what are the prices for this?
perhaps if that is off my head, ill be easier to go

amother

Chicory

Thu, May 09 2024, 5:21 pm

South Africa is amazing, tons to do, gorgeous scenery and weather.
But I wouldn’t go so far without my kids…it’s really really far, how long would you leave them for for the 2 day travel each direction to be worth it?
Can you take them with? We’ve done this trip with kids more than once! do a smaller intimate getaway with DH

amother

Crocus

Thu, May 09 2024, 7:45 pm

Where's the option for once in 15 years and we took our 1yr old along?
Still, it was an amazing experience and I wish we could do it again. It's just way too hard with making arrangements for all the kids bh. Maybe when they're all grown up.

And I'll be happy to join your dh instead of you😉

amother

Apple

Thu, May 09 2024, 8:57 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

I agree with this… also in case of an emergency, it would take at least 24 hours to get back.

Can you afford to take the whole family, maybe instead of camp? If your kids are old enough, it can be an amazing experience for them!

amother

Chicory

Thu, May 09 2024, 9:17 pm

amother Apple wrote:

More than 24 hours to get back! It’s 19 hours flight time! You would likely want a minimum of a week there..add travel and you’re away from ur kids for 10 days.

Btw once you are there things are very cheap relatively (food, lodging, attractions) flights are expensive but if u can swing taking the family, I highly recommend!