My Atara project: comments required

rrlavona

Thu, May 09 2024, 5:43 pm

Chodesh tov

I am making an Atara for my husband to be (both second marriages, both widoders). It has been my dream to do this for a long time, and BH I have finally been blessed with the schus to be able to do this, thank You Hashem. My mum is helping me choose the materials (she is a sewer, I am an embroyderer) as I am embroydering and sewing on silver base clear rhinestones and also fresh water white silver pearls for the pattern I have drawn of the Atara. I am drawing the design with iron off pen, then sewing the lines, ironing off the pen, then sewing on the rhinestones and pearls over the sewn pattern, and then filling any little gaps that rest with shiny silver embroydery thread.

My questions are as follows and I need those in the very haredi community to help me (I was at Malchut the other day in Yerushalayim and another chassidishe satmar lady helped me as we talked about what I could design the atara with (we are personally old chasiddishe breslev and alexander), but noone here has actually done it here where we live! She was so excited that this is done! By us it was always a thing, but my father died when I was young and my brother never had this done for him, so I don't even have to compare now and am so upset I don't have my zaydes talis to compare, but I am going by memory and my mum. So I am literlaly designing this and doing it but desperately need your advice out there!!

1: The Ataras that I saw are all made with raised beads that have the shiny thread emboydered over it, so obviously not with expensive rhinestones and real pearls. I need to know if this (rhinestones and pearls covering the atara is currently acceptable (as it was in my parents' and grandparents' days)

2: Are there kabalistic patterns I need to be aware of? Confused

Any and all ideas or knowledge would be so helpful.

Thank you Smile

amother

Peachpuff

Thu, May 09 2024, 7:35 pm

It sounds very beautiful and so meaningful. The only thing I’d share is that I’ve never seen a man with an atara that had rhinestones or pearls in it. Maybe you should gently broach the subject and find out if your dh to be would feel uncomfortable wearing something different and unusual. It depends on where he davens but mainly on his personality. It’s doubtful anyone would say anything (except maybe to admire it) and there’s certainly nothing wrong with it, but he might prefer something that looks more standard.

rrlavona

Fri, May 10 2024, 3:46 am

amother Peachpuff wrote:

Every time I woke up last night I was thinking about this. It hadn't even crossed my mind in all these years!!! You are absolutely right! So I was up thinking about this in the night and I had two ideas come to me (basically I'm going to go safe with a normal one, and also offer the one with rhinestones), the ideas were:

I was received by the wife of a chassidishe Rebbe Tuesday night, and we talked about the atara and doing it by hand with pearls etc and how it has been my dream for several years to be able to do this for my husband, ( and about also doing a talis bag and tefilin bag with embroidery. Don't we all need so much more time!?) and she was encouraging and spoke about her mother and bubby who did this sort of thing and spoke about the different things they would do (they were also chassidishe in chutz l'aretz). I thought that if it were not an acceptable project she would have not had such a reaction bichlal and that she would have hopefully said something!!!! So I now need help deciding on a plan of action (please!):

Should I:
iyH get the usual silver embroidered atara and put that on with very tiny pearls around the edge and offer this as a usual safer option, and at the same time also make the hand pearled and rhinestoned one and offer that along side (if he feels comfortable to wear it, BH, and if he doesn't it doesn't matter because I have BH offered the other one also!)

Or

should I just buy the silver embroidered atara and appliqué it on with tiny pearls around the edge and see if I can also put tiny pearls in certain indents in the pattern? It would be discrete and barley visible. I guess from a personal and family point of view it isn't then hand made, it is just added too 🙁 but maybe that's ok? What do you think?

amother

Peachpuff

Fri, May 10 2024, 5:51 am

rrlavona wrote:

I would no way say this type of atara is unacceptable. That’s why the rebbetzin didn’t say anything. There’s nothing wrong with decorating an atara as you want to. We can’t know exactly what the rebbetzin was thinking. Maybe she genuinely loves the idea and maybe she didn’t want to offend you.
I think you should talk it over with dh. He’s been davening in the men’s section for a long time. He’s the one who knows how unusual it is and if it is very unusual he’ll know how comfortable or uncomfortable he’d be with it. It’s a personal choice. You don’t want to put him into the position of wearing something he’d rather not just because you put so much work into it.

rrlavona

Fri, May 10 2024, 5:56 am

amother Peachpuff wrote:

This helps Smile

thank you for this. I'll update you in a few weeks iyH with the outcome!!!!

🌸

rrlavona

Fri, May 10 2024, 6:21 am

Elfrida wrote:

I've seen some tallesim with hooks and eyes to attach the atara, to allow ot to be removed for cleaning or whatever. Perhaps you could have that kind of set up, so that the two you make would be interchangeable.

A lot of rhinestones and pearls might be rather heavy and potentially not so comfortable to wear.

I was also thinking that this morning Confused

This is definitely pushing me to just add a few tiny tiny pearls to the border of the embroidered chassidishe one.

Phew

What a brocha you ladies are!!