When they go back to Yeshiva

amother

Fri, May 10 2024, 5:16 pm

So my sons went back to yeshiva this week and the world is starting to right itself. At least, that's how it feels.

When the bochurim are home, the world (my world) feels like its spinning off its axis. I find it hard to get my bearings. Of course, it's also because their homecoming usually happens to coincide with a Yom Tov, when my life is being turned upside-down and inside-out anyway.

I feel a bit chagrined that for the past few years, every time my boys come home, all they see is chaos. Kids being shuffled to different rooms, mattresses on the floor, closets being emptied, a frazzled mother who keeps running out of ingredients and- please don't walk into the kitchen when the cleaning lady is mopping! And can you empty the negel vasser bowl before you leave to Shacharis, please?

I hope they will remember that they once had a mother who was normal and calm and didn't need people to not talk to her while she was making the kugels, lest she lose count of how many eggs already went in. Wait, did I put in the salt already? I can't remember. (Kugel without salt is NOT edible. Trust me. )

But, really, Yom Tov was beautiful, and I enjoyed spending time with my kids who are usually not here. Aside from everything else, it was exciting to see the gefilte fish plate being emptied out at each meal. That's not something I take for granted.

And here's a pro tip for anyone who has not yet reached the Mother-of-the-Bochur stage: You can never make enough deli roll. Even if you think it's enough- it's not. Actually, anything with puff pastry goes. As long as it doesn't contain fruit. Or vegetables. There's a reason why the supermarkets in my neighborhood were all out of puff pastry sheets the Friday after Pesach.

But all good things must come to an end, and higia zman for the boys to go back to yeshiva.

So YB calls me from the airport to tell me that, as he was checking in his luggage, the agent at the counter wouldn’t give him his boarding pass, because he didnt have an ID.

"But I'm a minor," he says. "I don't need to have an ID."
The agent isn't sure what she's supposed to do. She asks him to wait while she calls over her supervisor.

The supervisor comes over, eyes my son, and asks him if he has any ID at all. Maybe a credit card or library card? A birthday card?
No, he says. I'm a minor. I'm under 18.
(My son does not look a day older than 16. Maybe they are thrown off by the teenage version of the sefira beard? )
Supervisor looks at the reservation, sees the DOB, and then says, "You say you're under 18, and...am I supposed to believe you? "
YB looks him right back in the eye and says, "Yes!"
Finally, Supervisor says, "Ok...but they won't let you through security."

YB says he'll take his chances. They reluctantly give him the boarding pass, he grabs it and runs to security. He's flown many times before, and he usually carries his passport with him, just in case. This is the first time he didn’t have it with him, and it is also the first time he's ever been asked to show his ID. That's how it goes.

Thankfully, he had no trouble at security and his flight was uneventful. (No, he was not asked to deplane just for wearing black and white. Baruch Hashem for small miracles. )

He calls me again when he arrives at yeshiva.
"I became a Vip," says he. He says vip, like it rhymes with zip. Bachur's humor. Just go with it.

I asked why, and he tells me that his suitcases didn't make it onto the plane. Maybe they didn't have proper ID either.
But they were somehow left at the departure airport. He was told that the suitcases would go on the next flight. He had to fill out a form with his address. They assured him that they would "hand deliver" the suitcases later that night.
So that made him a vip.

He was excited.
"I think they're gonna deliver the suitcases with a helicopter, and drop them right on top of my dorm." (I told you, bachur's humor. Just breathe through it. )

I said I hoped nobody got hurt when the suitcases come flying down, and he reassured me that they will be equipped with parachutes.

But the suitcases did not arrive that night. I checked the website for United Airline baggage tracing and put in the reference number. It said that the bags left the airport and were on the way to the address given. I clicked on the link provided to track, and was directed to the FedEx page. But when I put in the tracking number, it said "Sorry! We did not recognize the information you entered."

So I called the number at Contact Support. Support said that the tracking number was wrong but that they couldn't reach the airport for the correct number. The agent said he will call me back shortly. He never did. (Surprise, surprise!)

YB borrowed pajamas from a friend.
I spent the next 24 hours alternating between checking the website, repeating the story to various agents, being put on hold, listening to hold music (they don't respect the fact that some of us are avoiding music these days, shelo nahagu kavod zeh lazeh....) and answering YB's calls asking if I got through.

"I have enough clothes to last me until Shabbos," he said. "But after that, I'm in trouble." His whole life was in those suitcases.

As an aside, it's a wonder to me that these huge companies spend millions of dollars on their software and websites (I imagine), and most of the time, the tracking system has gliches or the agents don't bother inputting the correct info. Really, I have no idea how it works. All I know is that, so often, the tracking systems at these companies malfunction.

Two days after he arrived back at yeshiva, he still had not received the luggage. They evidently don't know how to treat their vips.

I'm on the phone again with another person at Support. Her name is April. (Yeah, they are a month behind.) She puts me on hold again for about 10 minutes. I managed to clean the whole kitchen while waiting for her to come back.

April finally returns and says that she has the correct tracking number for me, and would I like it?
Yes, I say.
She also tells me that, according to what she sees, the luggage was delivered two hours ago.
Oh! Really?
Yes, she says, I see a picture of the bags sitting at the door.
And so they were.

(Just for fun, I tried putting in the new tracking number. It still says, "Sorry! We do not recognize the information you entered." How sorry is sorry?)

And so, all's well that ends well.
My life is back to routine (I was about to say normal, but who am I fooling?), and the boys have gone back to Yeshiva.

Wait.
He just called to ask me to please send him a phone charger.
What happened to your phone charger, I ask?
"I left it at home by mistake. Each time, I forget one thing. "
It's one of the rules in the Bachur's handbook: "Thou shall forget one thing each time." In both directions.
(True story- Last year, he left ONE Shabbos shoe behind in yeshiva. His chavrusa who lives near the yeshiva sent it to him by UPS.)

But the charger was no big deal. Baruch Hashem for Amazon.

PS. To preempt any questions regarding my son's phone, the out-of-town bachurim are allowed to have phones for travel, and they hand it in to the yeshiva during the zman. It's all kosher. (Pun intended.)

cbsp

Fri, May 10 2024, 5:41 pm

Ah, a wonderful treat from PKL to usher in the Shabbos Hamalka.

(I hope your gefilte fish plate gets emptied this week as well)

(was just driving up the NJ turnpike and the license of the car ahead of me was ***-PKL and I couldn't explain to my kid why I was laughing)

amother

Nemesia

Fri, May 10 2024, 6:30 pm

You are a good mother for spending so much time dealing with the bureaucracy. That is NO fun.

amother

cornflower

Fri, May 10 2024, 6:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

So my sons went back to yeshiva this week and the world is starting to right itself. At least that's how it feels.

When the bochurim are home, the world (my world) feels like its spinning off its axis. I find it hard to get my bearings. Of course, it's also because their homecoming usually happens to coincide with a Yom Tov, when my life is being turned upside-down and inside-out anyway.

I feel a bit chagrined that for the past few years, every time my boys come home, all they see is chaos. Kids being shuffled to different rooms, mattresses on the floor, closets being emptied, a frazzled mother who keeps running out of ingredients and- please don't walk into the kitchen when the cleaning lady is mopping! And can you empty the negel Vasser bowl before you leave to Shacharis, please?

I hope they will remember that they once had a mother who was normal and calm and didn't need people to not talk to her while she was making the kugels, lest she lose count of how many eggs already went in. Wait, did I put in the salt already? I can't remember. (Kugel without salt is NOT edible. Trust me. )

But, really, Yom tov was beautiful and I enjoyed spending time with my kids who are usually not here. Aside from everything else, it was exciting seeing the gefilte fish plate being emptied out at each meal. That's not something I take for granted.

And here's a pro tip for anyone who has not yet reached the mother-of-the-bochur stage: You can never make enough deli roll. Even if you think it's enough- it's not. Actually, anything with puff pastry goes. As long as it doesn't contain fruit. Or vegetables. There's a reason why the supermarkets in my neighborhood were all out of puff pastry sheets the Friday after Pesach.

But all good things must come to an end and higia zman for the boys to go back to yeshiva.

So YB calls me from the airport to tell me that, as he was checking in his luggage, the agent at the counter wouldn’t give him his boarding pass, because he didnt have an ID.

"But I'm a minor," he says. "I don't need to have an ID."
The agent isn't sure what she's supposed to do. She asks him to wait while she calls over her supervisor.

The supervisor comes over, eyes my son, and asks him if he has any ID at all. Maybe a credit card or library card? A birthday card?
No, he says. I'm a minor. I'm under 18.
(My son does not look a day older than 16. Maybe they are thrown off by the sefira beard? )
Supervisor looks at the reservation, sees the DOB, and then says, "You say you're under 18, and...am I supposed to believe you? "
YB looks him right back in the eye and says, "Yes!"
Finally, supervisor says, "Ok...but they won't let you through security."

YB says he'll take his chances. They reluctantly give him the boarding pass, he grabs it and runs to security. He's flown many times before, and he usually carries his passport with him, just in case. This is the first time he didn’t have it with him, and it is also the first time he's ever been asked to show his ID. That's how it goes.

Thankfully, he had no trouble at security and his flight was uneventful. (No, he was not asked to deplane just for wearing black and white. Baruch Hashem for small miracles. )

He calls me again when he arrives at yeshiva.
"I became a Vip," says he. He says vip, like it rhymes with zip. Bachur's humor. Just go with it.

I asked why, and he tells me that his suitcases didn't make it onto the plane. Maybe they didn't have proper ID either.
But they were somehow left at the departure airport. He was told that the suitcases would go on the next flight. He had to fill out a form with his address. They assured him that they would "hand deliver" the suitcases later that night.
So that made him a vip.

He was excited.
"I think they're gonna deliver the suitcases with a helicopter, and drop them right on top of my dorm." (I told you, bachur's humor. Just breathe through it. )
I said I hoped nobody got hurt when the suitcase come flying down, and he reassured me that they will be equipped with parachutes.

But the suitcases did not arrive that night. I checked the website for United Airline baggage tracing and put in the reference number. It said was that it left the airport and was on the way to the address given. I clicked on the link provided to track, and was directed to the FedEx page. But when I put in the tracking number, it said "Sorry! We did not recognize the information you entered."

So I called the number at Contact Support. Support said that the tracking number was wrong but that they couldn't reach the airport for the correct number. The agent said he will call me back shortly. He never did. (Surprise, surprise!)

YB borrowed pajamas from a friend.
I spent the next 24 hours alternating between checking the website, repeating the story to various agents, being put on hold, listening to hold music (they don't respect the fact that some of us are avoiding music these days, shelo nahagu kavod zeh lazeh....) and answering YB's calls asking if I got through.

"I have enough clothes to last me until Shabbos," he said. "But after that, I'm in trouble." His whole life was in those suitcases.

As an aside, it's a wonder to me that these huge companies spend millions of dollars on their software and websites (I imagine), and most of the time, the tracking system is not updated or the agents don't bother inputting the correct info. Really, I have no idea how it works. All I know is that, so often, the tracking systems at these companies malfunction.

Two days after he arrived back at yeshiva, he still has not received the luggage. They evidently don't know how to treat their vips.

I'm on the phone again with another person at Support. Her name is April. (Yeah, they are a month behind.) She puts me on hold again for about 10 minutes. I managed to clean the whole kitchen while waiting for her to come back.

April finally returns and says that she has the correct tracking number for me, and would I like it?
Yes, I say.
She also tells me that, according to what she sees, the luggage was delivered two hours ago.
Oh! Really?
Yes, she says, I see a picture of the bags sitting at the door.
And so they were.

(Just for fun, I tried putting in the new tracking number. It still says, "Sorry! We do not recognize the information you entered." How sorry is sorry?)

And so, all's well that ends well.
My life is back to routine (I was about to say normal, but who am I fooling?) , and the boys have gone back to Yeshiva.

Wait.
He just called to ask me to please send him a phone charger.
What happened to your phone charger, I ask?
"I left it at home by mistake. Each time, I forget one thing. "
It's one of the rules in the Bachur's handbook: "Thou shall forget one thing each time." In both directions.
(True story- One time he left ONE shabbos shoe behind in yeshiva. His chavrusa who lives near the yeshiva sent it to him by UPS.)

But the charger was no big deal. Baruch Hashem for Amazon.

PS. To preempt any questions regarding my son's phone, the out-of-town bachurim are allowed to have phones for travel, and they hand it in to the yeshiva during the zman. It's all kosher. (Pun intended.)

Thanks for this!! I was the one who requested it.

Yes, they must forget at least one thing, but I always tell them it can be anything but their tefillin!

amother

Eggplant

Fri, May 10 2024, 6:38 pm

Laughing out loud. You made me want to hug my 3 bochurim who are back in yeshiva.

amother

Kiwi

Fri, May 10 2024, 6:39 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

Thanks for this!! I was the one who requested it.

Yes, they must forget at least one thing, but I always tell them it can be anything but their tefillin!

Any tips for a mother who's son left his tefillin on plane in December??!!?? With no name or Id in his backpack in which it was?
Any hope? I've called and called and emailed...

Thanks, PKL for your accounts. You're just brilliant!

Iymnok

Sat, May 11 2024, 5:40 pm

The trick to salvaging unsalted potato kugel, is to eat it with a salt shaker in your other hand.
Give a couple shakes over the kugel between bites.
(Guess what I forgot this time?)

amother

Sat, May 11 2024, 10:27 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

You are a good mother for spending so much time dealing with the bureaucracy. That is NO fun.

Thanks, but I didn't know there was a choice. Sometimes it takes days or weeks for the suitcases to return.
And sometimes they are lost forever. I would have to buy him a whole new wardrobe.
BH it was only two days and we managed.

amother

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:02 pm

amother Kiwi wrote:

Wow! That is tough! So sorry about this!
I have no tips, other than saying Amar Rabi Binyomin and giving money to Tzadaka, which I assume you have already done.
Also. Maybe you can find out where the missing suitcases are stored and you can go to physically check?

Reminds me of the time my other son left his tefillin in the airport....bH that story had a happy ending.

amother

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:12 pm

Iymnok wrote:

The trick to salvaging unsalted potato kugel, is to eat it with a salt shaker in your other hand.
Give a couple shakes over the kugel between bites.
(Guess what I forgot this time?)

I tried telling them to mash the kugel and add salt on their plates, but it didn't go over so well. I ended up dumping two 9x13 pans of kugel because no one would eat them. Sad

dena613

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:23 pm

PKL!!!!!!
I love the humor, think your son got it from you!!!

Especially the vip, April... Smile

May this be a healthy and safe zman of growth for all our bochurim!

penguin

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:28 pm

If it happens again (chollilah) ash the kugel, add salt & a little eggs & fry as latkes!

Or, as above, maybe less salt, cut up some deli & roll up & bake?

Hashem_Yaazor

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:45 am

I had the zechus of spending Shabbos with one of my sons who is back in Yeshiva.
Bochur passes by and says hi, I ask my son who it is. Oh just a friend, my roommate.
Oh you have a roommate now? (His old one left before Pesach last zman and he never updated me that he got a new one.) What's his name? Mumbles something. Where's he from? Dunno.
Boys.
I'm sure if it was my daughter, I'd know the whole roommate's life as of a few days ago...

Oh and he still needs another $10. Don't forget.

amother

Oak

Sun, May 12 2024, 4:37 am

cbsp wrote:

And there’s someone on my neighborhood chat named Faigy P.K.L. (First name changed)
Every time she messages, I’m Like oh, faigy potato kugel lady LOL

amother

Oak

Sun, May 12 2024, 4:38 am

dena613 wrote:

PKL!!!!!!
I love the humor, think your son got it from you!!!

Especially the vip, April... Smile

May this be a healthy and safe zman of growth for all our bochurim!

Yes!!
Thanks so much for sharing!
I read it vip/zip the rest of the story!

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:37 am

amother Oak wrote:

And there’s someone on my neighborhood chat named Faigy P.K.L. (First name changed)
Every time she messages, I’m Like oh, faigy potato kugel lady LOL

That is funny! What does it stand for? Her name?

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 3:44 pm

dena613 wrote:

PKL!!!!!!
I love the humor, think your son got it from you!!!

Especially the vip, April... Smile

May this be a healthy and safe zman of growth for all our bochurim!

Amen!
His humor is the teenage precursor to Dad humor. You havent met my husband, lol. So I don't think he got it from me...

But yes, I think VIPs have been transformed to vips forever now. It's just so much snazzier.

amother

Oak

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

That is funny! What does it stand for? Her name?

Assuming so!
I don’t know everyone as I’m pretty new to the area- and it’s a pretty big/spread out community

amother

Cerulean

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:29 pm

My BMG brother told me his roommate got engaged. I said Mazel tov, what’s him name? He changed the subject. 10 min later he said “he left the room now so we can talk about him. I honestly don’t know his name and it’s too late to ask him at this point. If you’re really curious I’ll try to check out his Tefillin tomorow”

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 6:19 pm

amother Cerulean wrote: