Sx Ed book recommendations

amother

Thu, May 23 2024, 2:38 pm

My oldest is a 12 year old girl and I'm feeling very bad that I haven't spoken with her yet about sx. I'm pretty sure she's heard stuff from friends and I would like her to hear the facts from me, and know that I'm available and open to talking about it. Anyway, besides the technical talk and keeping the lines of communication open, I think she would really like a book she can reference on her own. Is there anything out there that doesn't include inappropriate / unnecessary information for her age and stage? I don't want her reading about lesbian sx, for example, even though she knows that women who aren't frum do marry each other. Definitely don't need her reading about sx toys etc. Any recommendations?

amother

Coral

Thu, May 23 2024, 2:51 pm

I never had the talk with my sons although I probably should’ve/ should…. So I decided last year to purchase the book from boys to men and I gave it to my older son and told him, “I probably should’ve had a talk with you when you were younger but in any case, I want you to have this book so if you have any questions or want to know anything you can read it all in here. And If you have any questions please feel free to ask me…”
This is a book for boys but maybe you can see if there are any chapters that can be read by girls too…

https://www.googleadservices.c.....durl=

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, May 23 2024, 3:16 pm

Following.

Re above link, From Boys to Men, I wish there was a version for girls. I'm reading it though & hoping to find conversation starters, talking points, ways to talk about these things with dd. Maybe I can scan parts that seem more gender neutral, if there are any, I haven't read half yet, but if so present to her to read together.

amother

Thu, May 23 2024, 3:21 pm

amother Coral wrote:

Thanks, good to know. I really would like something geared toward girls..

amother

Outerspace

Thu, May 23 2024, 3:56 pm

The wonder of becoming you

American girl has a series, which I’ve never read but heard is good

Are you looking for more explicit sx related?

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, May 23 2024, 5:13 pm

amother Outerspace wrote:

The wonder of becoming you

American girl has a series, which I’ve never read but heard is good

Are you looking for more explicit sx related?

That book, The Wonder of Becoming You by Dr. Miriam Grossman, is magnificent, but it was perfect for dd for learning about her body, menstruation.
I think op is looking for a book on intimacy, right?

amother

Thu, May 23 2024, 5:50 pm

amother Outerspace wrote:

The wonder of becoming you

American girl has a series, which I’ve never read but heard is good

Are you looking for more explicit sx related?

Yes specifically sx. We had the other talk years ago, and I gave her the American girl book. Is there another one?

amother

Steelblue

Thu, May 23 2024, 6:34 pm

How about “Big talks for girls”
That might be only about puberty.

There is a really good post here on Imamother. It might even be pinned. I don’t know the name but I used it as a template to share with my daughter. Very good hashkafa.

The book you are looking for might not exist.

There are a couple of from books on s-x but for adults to use to teach children.

Actually, JOWMA has some podcasts about this. Maybe Elisheva Liss? And Elissa Hellman and a Rachel someone. Check out their podcast history.

I would recommending listening to the Elissa Hellman ones and maybe contacting her. I think she has a course.

I know someone frum had a mother daughter course on this.

amother

Thu, May 23 2024, 6:46 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

Yikes, sounds like there is a real need for this book! I don't really need guidance regarding the talk. I just want her to have a book to reference on her own.

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, May 23 2024, 7:13 pm

An above reply mentioning Elisheva Liss reminded me about this course, linked here. I haven't taken it, but am considering, she's articulate & so knowledgeable, I've enjoyed hearing her interviewed on Halacha Headlines

https://get-intimate.mykajabi.com/SNS

amother

Poinsettia

Thu, May 23 2024, 7:59 pm

This book was very helpful for me to read before having the talk-
Talking to children about intimacy- a guide for orthodox Jewish parents by Sara diament.
My kallah teacher recommended it

amother

Outerspace

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes specifically sx. We had the other talk years ago, and I gave her the American girl book. Is there another one?

Yes there is (maybe even 2 more?) that’s meant to be the next level but I don’t know if it has the details you’re looking for.

I’ve been keeping an eye out for the books on the market but I still have a few years till my oldest will be ready for it…

amother

Candycane

Fri, May 24 2024, 5:45 am

amother Steelblue wrote:

Maybe one of the posts on this thread?
MASTER POST: Links for talking to kids about puberty etc.
Pinned on Sensitive Parenting Questions

For yourself, Holy Intimacy might be good to give you talking points.

amother

Royalblue

Fri, May 24 2024, 9:58 am

Responding as someone who grew up not frum - parents became frum in late elementary school and I knew everything from a young age. Lots of exposure to tv and stuff like that. Parents were also very open with me at a young age.

To give your daughter a puberty book is one thing (I had American girl) to give your kid as sx education book does not seem necessary. It would be a conversation you have but why would a child (even a teenager) need a book to reference back to?

I had (not frum) friends who had detailed books and we would read them at sleepovers - not something I would want for my typical BY kids (but happy to have the talk with them when the time is right and be open to their questions)