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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
How to you give tzedaka?
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| I separate exact numbers & only give that |
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24% |
[ 12 ] |
| I give a percentage plus extra, that depends monthly on what moves me |
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63% |
[ 31 ] |
| Other (explain in comments) |
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12% |
[ 6 ] |
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| Total Votes : 49 |
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amother
OP
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 Fri, May 24 2024, 7:27 am
This is a spin-off of the locked thread where someone mentioned that people only have a certain amount of maaser to give or if they give money to one place then it means they are not giving to another.
I'm not talking about people who have extremely set finances. I'm talking about people that have a little (or a lot) of flexibility in spending.
Am I the only one who makes sure I give maaser, but after that I will give extra to someone or something that moves me, or will have a few set places that I give to but because we have some money flexibility, will just again, give to places that move us. It can be $100, $1000, $18, depending on your income.
So giving to one place does not necessarily mean that I am not going to give somewhere else. I've already fulfilled my torah obligation, & now, if I see a place I want to give to, I will spend it but if I don't, then I won't. Just like if I have flexibility in spending and I see a skirt that I really like and I buy it, that doesn't mean that I now can't buy any other skirt, it just means that I don't see any other skirt now that I want to buy and if I do, I will buy that also...
Obviously there are limits but people are making it sound so calculated, as if the majority of people have an exact number they spend on tzedaka and any funds they allocate to one place means that they are definitely not allocating anything to another place.
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amother
Pistachio
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:30 am
I will give over maaser, but its small amounts here and there.
Im not giving any remotely big ticket amounts, unless its a relative.
So definately hear the argument thats its limited.
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amother
Lightgreen
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:32 am
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I am not tich and maaser is hard for me so yes I keep a maaser cheshban and whenever I give tzedaka I minus that ammount
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amother
Aster
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:34 am
I haven’t been able to afford giving maaser for the past year  I make sure to give $100 a month to a family member who needs it and sometime donate small amounts to good causes but my maaser is very limited.
I keep track of the amount I owe and hope to pay it back to tzedakah someday.
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amother
Dustypink
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:35 am
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I wouldn’t consider ourselves poor, but we can barely afford Maaser, so no. But I’m happy there are people who can give extra.
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Iymnok
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:36 am
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There is a clear description of what maaser is and what constitutes maaser. Anything else is regular tzedaka.
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amother
OP
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:41 am
| Iymnok wrote: | | There is a clear description of what maaser is and what constitutes maaser. Anything else is regular tzedaka. |
I changed the topic but it's pretty obvious from my OP that I'm not specifically talking about the halachic obligation, but tzedaka funds.
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amother
Chicory
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:42 am
| amother OP wrote: | | I changed the topic but it's pretty obvious from my OP that I'm not specifically talking about the halachic obligation, but tzedaka funds. |
You may have meant it, but it wasn't obvious
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amother
Papayawhip
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:49 am
We give maaser, we give a monthly amount to tomchei Shabbos and daily giving in addition to maaser, and once in a while we’ll give $18-36 outside of maaser.
When we got our ANCHOR rebate we donated the entire thing to an Israeli tzedakah outside of maaser (we got the rebate therefor you know we are far from rich!)
We live paycheck to paycheck after maaser, bH saving 10% of our income in retirement funds, maxing out our IRAs and additional investments for future simchos. Meaning we put that money away automatically and live paycheck to paycheck off the rest. So don’t have as much flexibility as I wish I did to give more tzedakah.
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amother
Aster
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:50 am
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I don’t get your point here. Everyone has a limit on how much tzedakah they’ll give. The wealthier people like you are privileged to have a higher limit but there’s still a limit. You need to have enough to pay your family’s bills and save for the future. Giving to a less urgent cause does take away from the urgent ones.
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amother
Oak
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:52 am
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We give our set 10% of maaser to family members, but I cut back on a lot of extras to give a lot more- just there's no definite amount I'll give a little to whoever asks or sends a campaign etc...
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amother
Aster
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:52 am
| amother Papayawhip wrote: | We give maaser, we give a monthly amount to tomchei Shabbos and daily giving in addition to maaser, and once in a while we’ll give $18-36 outside of maaser.
When we got our ANCHOR rebate we donated the entire thing to an Israeli tzedakah outside of maaser (we got the rebate therefor you know we are far from rich!)
We live paycheck to paycheck after maaser, bH saving 10% of our income in retirement funds, maxing out our IRAs and additional investments for future simchos. Meaning we put that money away automatically and live paycheck to paycheck off the rest. So don’t have as much flexibility as I wish I did to give more tzedakah. |
I’m pretty sure the phrase paycheck to paycheck can’t be used when you’re maxing out your IRA, saving for retirement and have additional investments.
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amother
Junglegreen
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Fri, May 24 2024, 7:58 am
I divide it into another account immediately and that’s what I give.
I only give maaser/tzedaka from that account.
I am barely making it month to month, I can’t afford now to use grocery or braces money on extra tzedaka.
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amother
OP
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Fri, May 24 2024, 8:07 am
| amother Aster wrote: | | I don’t get your point here. Everyone has a limit on how much tzedakah they’ll give. The wealthier people like you are privileged to have a higher limit but there’s still a limit. You need to have enough to pay your family’s bills and save for the future. Giving to a less urgent cause does take away from the urgent ones. |
I don't think everyone is that cheshboned. And that's the point of my poll.
Yes of course people have limits for things but just because someone chooses to give to one place doesn't mean that that means that THEREFORE, they're not giving to another place.
In the 17 years were married, we have never once said, oh no! even though we want to give to this specific organization we can't, because we already gave to a different one. Even when things were tight. We always stretched to give *within our means* to all the places that we were able to. If we gave a lot more to one place, that just meant that that place meant more and it didn't mean that another place is getting less because we gave more to place number one, it just meant that we don't care as much for a place number two.
And even if it might come up once or twice it's not that typical. The same way I was comparing to clothing. If you have a little bit of flexibility, when you buy something you buy it and you're not saying because I buy this I'm not going to buy xyz.
Yes there are people who need to be more calculated as is obvious from the poll and the comments, but I'm wondering if that's the majority or the minority.
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amother
Aster
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Fri, May 24 2024, 8:13 am
| amother OP wrote: | I don't think everyone is that cheshboned. And that's the point of my poll.
Yes of course people have limits for things but just because someone chooses to give to one place doesn't mean that that means that THEREFORE, they're not giving to another place.
In the 17 years were married, we have never once said, oh no! even though we want to give to this specific organization we can't, because we already gave to a different one. Even when things were tight. We always stretched to give *within our means* to all the places that we were able to. If we gave a lot more to one place, that just meant that that place meant more and it didn't mean that another place is getting less because we gave more to place number one, it just meant that we don't care as much for a place number two.
And even if it might come up once or twice it's not that typical. The same way I was comparing to clothing. If you have a little bit of flexibility, when you buy something you buy it and you're not saying because I buy this I'm not going to buy xyz.
Yes there are people who need to be more calculated as is obvious from the poll and the comments, but I'm wondering if that's the majority or the minority. |
It’s the majority. Our communities are really financially struggling. The frum lifestyle was always financially stressed for many but with inflation, upper middle class became middle class and middle class turned poor. Many wealthy people’s businesses have slowed tremendously or are failing. My husband says you walk into shul and see more unemployed men than several years ago because businesses are laying people off and not hiring, and people are talking with so much stress about finances. Rich people aren’t making the parties they used to.
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amother
Sand
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Fri, May 24 2024, 8:15 am
| amother OP wrote: | I don't think everyone is that cheshboned. And that's the point of my poll.
Yes of course people have limits for things but just because someone chooses to give to one place doesn't mean that that means that THEREFORE, they're not giving to another place.
In the 17 years were married, we have never once said, oh no! even though we want to give to this specific organization we can't, because we already gave to a different one. Even when things were tight. We always stretched to give *within our means* to all the places that we were able to. If we gave a lot more to one place, that just meant that that place meant more and it didn't mean that another place is getting less because we gave more to place number one, it just meant that we don't care as much for a place number two.
And even if it might come up once or twice it's not that typical. The same way I was comparing to clothing. If you have a little bit of flexibility, when you buy something you buy it and you're not saying because I buy this I'm not going to buy xyz.
Yes there are people who need to be more calculated as is obvious from the poll and the comments, but I'm wondering if that's the majority or the minority. |
I think you are blessed if even when things were tight, you were able to give. For others, giving extra might mean not being able to pay bills. Ans yes, I'm guessing things are this tight for a majority.
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Bleemee
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Fri, May 24 2024, 8:15 am
| amother OP wrote: | I don't think everyone is that cheshboned. And that's the point of my poll.
Yes of course people have limits for things but just because someone chooses to give to one place doesn't mean that that means that THEREFORE, they're not giving to another place.
In the 17 years were married, we have never once said, oh no! even though we want to give to this specific organization we can't, because we already gave to a different one. Even when things were tight. We always stretched to give *within our means* to all the places that we were able to. If we gave a lot more to one place, that just meant that that place meant more and it didn't mean that another place is getting less because we gave more to place number one, it just meant that we don't care as much for a place number two.
And even if it might come up once or twice it's not that typical. The same way I was comparing to clothing. If you have a little bit of flexibility, when you buy something you buy it and you're not saying because I buy this I'm not going to buy xyz.
Yes there are people who need to be more calculated as is obvious from the poll and the comments, but I'm wondering if that's the majority or the minority. |
I don’t think the way you are able to stretch for another skirt is the way everyone is able to and therefore they’re also able to stretch for another cause.
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amother
Papayawhip
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Fri, May 24 2024, 8:20 am
| amother OP wrote: | I don't think everyone is that cheshboned. And that's the point of my poll.
Yes of course people have limits for things but just because someone chooses to give to one place doesn't mean that that means that THEREFORE, they're not giving to another place.
In the 17 years were married, we have never once said, oh no! even though we want to give to this specific organization we can't, because we already gave to a different one. Even when things were tight. We always stretched to give *within our means* to all the places that we were able to. If we gave a lot more to one place, that just meant that that place meant more and it didn't mean that another place is getting less because we gave more to place number one, it just meant that we don't care as much for a place number two.
And even if it might come up once or twice it's not that typical. The same way I was comparing to clothing. If you have a little bit of flexibility, when you buy something you buy it and you're not saying because I buy this I'm not going to buy xyz.
Yes there are people who need to be more calculated as is obvious from the poll and the comments, but I'm wondering if that's the majority or the minority. |
I am married for 11 years and we absolutely have not given to one place bec we just gave our maaser to another
It’s not acceptable to give $1 to an organization and we did not always have $18
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amother
Camellia
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Fri, May 24 2024, 8:26 am
| amother Aster wrote: | | It’s the majority. Our communities are really financially struggling. The frum lifestyle was always financially stressed for many but with inflation, upper middle class became middle class and middle class turned poor. Many wealthy people’s businesses have slowed tremendously or are failing. My husband says you walk into shul and see more unemployed men than several years ago because businesses are laying people off and not hiring, and people are talking with so much stress about finances. Rich people aren’t making the parties they used to. |
I agree.
The past few years have been years of plenty and there seems to have been almost unlimited money. I am in my fifties and I don't remember this ever happening before.
We are now reset to "normal" and we are going to have to start prioritizing - those years of plenty seem to be over.
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amother
Papayawhip
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Fri, May 24 2024, 8:29 am
| amother Camellia wrote: | I agree.
The past few years have been years of plenty and there seems to have been almost unlimited money. I am in my fifties and I don't remember this ever happening before.
We are now reset to "normal" and we are going to have to start prioritizing - those years of plenty seem to be over. |
The thing is many of us never had the years of plenty. I mean we were doing a lot better before inflation- and I’m so worried about major tuition increases- so we feel tighter now but we never had the extra money to lease cars or buy Moose knuckle coats. I wonder if those families are affected. It doesn’t look like it. The steakhouses and high end clothing stores do not seem to be doing poorly at all. More keep opening up.
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