Tuition and maaser

amother

Fri, May 24 2024, 7:59 am

Our tuition bill comes to over 50% of our income so we definitely can’t fully pay for it. We pay as much as we can and depend on financial aid but my dh says we can’t give maaser while we’re depending on other peoples tzedaka so besides our shul and small amounts here and there, we don’t give maaser. Are we alone in this?

amother

Eggshell

Fri, May 24 2024, 8:15 am

You’re definitely not alone. I can’t afford to give full maaser so I give a very minimal amount each month to tzedakah. I have a spreadsheet where I calculate how much maaser we owe and I hope to pay it back someday when we have the money. The kosher money podcast had a Rav on discussing maaser a while back and he said that calculating the maaser you owe is a mitzvah in and of itself even if you can’t afford to give it.

amother

Orchid

Fri, May 24 2024, 8:29 am

We keep asking and we keep being told not to give maaser. We give tzedakah though, and it's at least a few hundred dollars a month.

We have a lot of medical bills that we're paying right now, tuition and low income/large family. We are also paying back huge debt from prior years. I think tzedakah begins at home, I need to make sure my own family has what they need before giving elsewhere.

amother

Acacia

Fri, May 24 2024, 11:11 am

amother OP wrote:

Did you ask a shayla? If so, then you're doing the right thing. What does it matter what everyone else is doing.

We BH have been able to pay full tuition every year, although we are not at all rich and I don't know how long it will last. One year we called our rav and told him that things had been really hard that year and we needed to cut somewhere. We were already living very frugally. We asked if we should cut maaser or ask for a tuition reduction, because otherwise we were going to be in trouble.

He told us to ask for a tuition reduction, but that we weren't badly off enough not to pay maaser.

BUT we live in a city where it is well known that tuition fees are more than the cost of educating your child, and are meant to cover other kids' costs. My understanding is that most schools don't do that, so it would likely be different in those cases.

When in doubt, ask.

amother

Mocha

Fri, May 24 2024, 11:37 am

You'd be surprised. I would ask a rav if I was you. I was actually told I could use part of that money towards tuition. I was told I can use it for 40% for girl and boy tuition, tutors, and playgroup, and any shadow and "older brother/sister" can completely can come out.
I don't necessarily really use it for all that, but this is the answers I was given.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Fri, May 24 2024, 11:44 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

Absolutely, and I try to do services to the community instead....