DH going to get a lap band. How can I help?

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Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise

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amother

Tue, Mar 18 2008, 9:10 pm

Any advice for me on helping him before and after?

Any advice I can give over to DH? I really hope this will help but I'm worried that since he tries to take the quick fix he won't do the lasting things he needs to do to lose the weight and keep it off.

bubby

Wed, Mar 19 2008, 5:55 pm

Just be supportive, & if he starts to get on your nerves (moaning & writhing in "agony", complaining he can't eat this or that), go outside and SCREAM. VERY LOUDLY.

Then go back in & make nice.

In all seriousness, he's very lucky that you want to help him. Just keep boosting him up, telling him you're happy he'll be around for a very long time, & he must remember it goes off quicker or slower, depending on the metabolism. Some people I know lost 100lb very quickly...I still have 20-30 to go after 6 years!

My (male) cousin just had it done & he's so happy...but men generally have much more discipline than we have. Your DH probably will be OK. If he's tried everything else he knows that this is serious stuff & he has to be committed to it.

1 very important tip...NEVER drink with meals. Wait 20 mins after he's finished. Sometimes I'm so thirsty I could lick up a puddle. I find that extremely hard. Tiny pieces of food chewed very well; eat v e r y s l o w l y. And I find stress (like a work or child problem) makes me throw up everything. My chest feels like it closes up, very strange sensation. So my family save their aggravations till after dinner.

After a few weeks he'll know what goes down & what doesn't. EG: I have a very hard time with salad, fresh veggies & fruit; my friend can't eat rice or potatoes. But of course, chocolate is NEVER a problem Rolling Eyes

Who's doing the surgery? When? Maybe he should wait till after Pesach, the matza may be a huge problem. Hatzlacha to you both.

boruchhashem

Sun, Mar 23 2008, 8:19 pm

Bubby, by some ppl crispy like matzo is better than mush, for instance, ME! LOL

So it really is very hard to help someone. Every person is different. Just support him, and be there for him.

bubby

Sun, Mar 23 2008, 8:23 pm

I was actually thinking that the amount we eat at the Seder might be a problem...it is for me, I can eat very little at a time, and I have to eat it very slowly, so DH gave me a "heter" or I'd be in agony & throwing up all night.

You're right, though, crispy/crunchy is generally better than soft things.

ffbmom

Sun, Mar 23 2008, 8:46 pm

Lots of info on this in this week's Binah. Very informative with loads of resources. You might want to get a copy.

amother

Sun, Mar 23 2008, 8:49 pm

OP here. DH is going to somebody in Hoboken I'm pretty sure.

I just read last week's Bina on bariatric surgery. (talk about hashgacha) It kind of scared me and depressed me but DH thinks he can't lose weight by being hungry all the time and this is the way. I do see how it helped one of his relatives but I'm still scared. It would be nice. It would be nice if he could have less health issues.

Any specific tips for post surgery?

Oh and DH isn't getting it done until after Pesach I found out.

boruchhashem

Sun, Mar 23 2008, 8:56 pm

Is he doing the lapband or bypass?

SingALong

Sun, Mar 23 2008, 8:57 pm

my FIL just had it done, so I for post op, I think you can only have liquids. so my MIL made 15 different soups for shabbos. ie: carrot, squash, sweet potato, broccli, whatever is allowed I guess.
I guess you can freeze up some blended soups so he can have variety. also, check out how concentrated the soup can be, a thick mush or thin liquid.

maybe even a very watery smoothie, mix of yogurt, fruit, milk and water would be a good breakfast.

Talya

Thu, Mar 27 2008, 2:32 pm

It's great that you are asking about this now!! One important thing to note is to not offer and diet/surgery advice unless asked. It is probably one of the top few complaints I see on lapband or other weight loss surgery boards. People think they are being helpful and supportive but such comments often come out wrong and offensive and often come from well meaning family members. The patients go through the rigourous set of appointments to teach them about the surgery and preop and postop care so they patient generally speaking knows what they should and shouldn't do and they may cheat on their diet but they will most likely still lose (I lost over 70 lbs having lots of chocolate nearly every day! I don't doubt I would have lost more without it, but everyone has to do it their own way).

bubby

Thu, Mar 27 2008, 3:02 pm

Talya, OP ASKED for advice!! So, we're giving it Confused

Please share how you lost so much eating chocolate! That is my biggest craving. What didn't you eat instead? Feel free to PM me.

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2008, 3:32 pm

bubby, I think she's telling me (the OP) not to give my poor DH "advice" (read: nag nag nag nag)

bubby

Thu, Mar 27 2008, 5:11 pm

brooklyn

Fri, Mar 28 2008, 10:36 am

What is Binah?

What's New?

Sun, Apr 06 2008, 11:22 pm

The hardest part was getting dh to do it, after that it much easier. As mentioned just be supportive and get/make him the foods he needs. Good luck!

amother

Mon, Apr 07 2008, 2:28 pm

Brooklyn: OP here. bina is a woman's magazine put out by Hamodia. It's separate but it's the same editorial people (Lichtenstein etc)

amother

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 2:29 pm

OP here. Can you believe that DH is finally getting his lapband done IY"H Monday. All the preliminary work took forever, but that's good right? Sounds like he might still be on a liquid diet for Rosh Hashanah.

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 2:39 pm

Men are more active AND have better metabolism!

Good luck! Smile

ShakleeMom

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 2:39 pm

Although it’s hard to visualize this, men recover faster from invasive surgery, physically anyway. I know that men with a papercut are impossible and you want to SCREAM but believe me, they are able to bounce around the next day. The food plan might get on his nerves and that’s what other lapbanders can help you with, figuring out something that he will like, calm him, and yet can tolerate. Hatzlocha, and don’t forget, online you can always scream with CAPS LOCK!

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 2:45 pm

Many guys won't even tell there is something wrong, you'll just see he's "weird" (or not). Tell your dh he CAN complain to you!

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 2:47 pm

oh and make sure he takes his post surgery painkillers, it's not a necessity for a guy to do without!!!

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