spin off of my other thread - why do ome women/men fake??

miriamnechama

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:33 am

I thought I'd start another thread on this ubgect.. faking.

why do people fake cry, fake shockle etc??

I don't like to show emotions anymore in public.. butif a tear comes naturally then fine.

for me neila is also harder now that I realize that this was about the time my world came crashilg down on me with the loss of my mother right after YK... though I keep it quiet and tryto getoutof shul asap so noone knows about the yartzeit.

Isramom8

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:44 am

I didn't read the other thread, but maybe they are trying to get themselves to feel he emotions they would like to be feeling at this time.

Lady Godiva

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:52 am

I don't think people fake it when crying to God. (I answered in your other thread...)

Sorry about your mom.

ClaRivka

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 12:55 am

I've never faked emotion. Either I'm moved from the davening or I'm not. Alot of times I shuckle to keep the focus off my stomach or feet.

happyone

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 6:13 am

Why are you so sure they are faking? Everyone has a different way of having kavanah. Some shake, some close their eyes, some cover their eyes with a siddur, and there are those that drop some tears, as well as those that cry uncontrollably. I didn't read your other thread, but what's up with thinking ppl fake?

mimivan

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 6:21 am

I'm sorry to hear that Neila is so painful for you MN and about the loss of your mother.

I don't think everyone who is openly moved is faking. I don't see many "fakers"...and when I hear people sobbing loudly at the kotel, I just tell myself they are genuine so it doesn't distract me...who knows maybe they are?

greenfire

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 6:51 am

sorry about your mother ... why don't you want people to know about her yartzheit ... can you do something in her honour ...

while I might be embarrassed - I can't help but to sometimes cry ...

I think every plea to Hashem is real ... just by virtue of davening ... you cannot know what is inside a person ...

greentiger

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 7:00 am

I hate this. It is for reasons like this I am happy to daven at home. Why is anyone looking at how anyone else is davening? I am scared to cry in shul because every time I pick up a tissue, the heads turn and women are trying to figure out if I am "for real" or putting on a show.

Please everyone get a life and look in your siddur when you daven instead of around the shul.

gamekeeper

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 7:17 am

maybe the reason it bothers you is bec you are having a hard time connecting to your emotions? I know I have this sometimes...

as greenfire said, you never know whats going on in someone elses life thats making them break down and cry.

I must be honest that sometimes I wish I could get so in touch with my feelings and feel free to explore them.

Ruchel

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 7:20 am

I think the kotel is the only place I've seen people crying while praying. At shul never that I can remember (not even the men who concentrate much more and chat much less or not at all).

miriamnechama

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 7:26 am

greenfire wrote:

greenie we did this morning, I don't like talking any more about m personal life with my neighbours... I've basically had it with them....

greenfire

Fri, Oct 10 2008, 7:36 am

gamekeeper wrote:

did you know that when you daven shmona esrai - there is a place at the end that you can say your own tefilos ... while everywhere else we are busy with prefab words - try a few of prayers of the heart ... it can get anybody to cry ... Crying