Jewish Mothers | Imamother

timeout

Mon, Jan 09 2006, 6:40 pm

What would these mothers say if they were Jewish?
**read with the whiney Jewish mother voice**

Alexander Graham Bell’s Jewish mother:
“Nu, so you invented the telephone. You think you could give your mother ah call sometimes?”

Paul Revere’s Jewish mother:
“Why do you have to ride around like ah meshuganeh in middle of the night? Why can’t you ride during the day like ah mentch?”

Dr. Seuss’s Jewish mother:
“What’s all this nonsense about eggs and ham? Come taste some of this potato kugel I made yesterday.”

Gandhi’s Jewish mother:
“I understand you don’t like violence but do you have to fast so much? My poor boy is wasting away!”

Babe Ruth’s Jewish mother:
“Best player in the history of baseball… so what? Mrs. Rabinowitz’s son is ah doctor! Ah top surgeon!”

Beethoven’s Jewish mother:
“You play very nicely, but ah haircut wouldn’t hurt! You look like ah bum with all that hair!”

Mona Lisa’s Jewish mother:
“No boy is going to look at you if you smile like that! You want to leave me with no grandchildren?!”

Frank Sinatra’s Jewish mother:
“All this singing about New York! What about coming to Miami for Pesach to visit your poor mother?”

Shakespeare’s Jewish mother:
“What’s with all these tragedies you make up? We don’t have enough real tzuros in this world?”

Martha Stewart’s Jewish mother:
“You say you know how to cook, you say you know how to clean, and your husband still left you for ah shiksa