if I dont want my baby to cry herself to sleep

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

If I dont want my baby to cry herself to sleep

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amother

Sun, Jan 04 2009, 2:41 am

what can I do so that she will fall asleep on her own?

right now I rock her to sleep. she is a little over half a year old now.

amother

Sun, Jan 04 2009, 3:02 am

nobody???

saboni

Sun, Jan 04 2009, 3:04 am

would also love to hear!

Pizza

Sun, Jan 04 2009, 3:09 am

I nurse my baby to sleep, and in the evenings, my hubby and older kids take her for a walk in the stroller

I usually start letting them cry at about a year. It only takes 2 days for them to figure it out.

Good luck!

Rivky

Sun, Jan 04 2009, 3:09 am

I still rock my little four month old to sleep so dono

amother

Sun, Jan 04 2009, 3:16 am

Pizza wrote:

first off, I said that I DONT want to let her cry herself to sleep and second, she doe not fall asleep from eating anymore.

chavamom

Sun, Jan 04 2009, 3:44 am

There is a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution". I recommend you look at that. It is more than a simple answer in one post at imamother.

shatzileh

Mon, Jan 05 2009, 2:46 am

My baby's about 6 months old and I also wasn't into crying it out. I'll tell you what I'm doing now - so far it's working but we've only been at it for a week and a half. Pretty much what I read is that almost any method will work so long as you're consistent. I read about the "No Tears" method - I think tis by Dr. Sears, and adapted it a bit. I try to give my baby a happy bedtime and let him know I'm there if he needs me. So, I give him a bath, we turn out the lights and turn on a night light, I read him a book in my bed, then I nurse him, then I read him the book again, and then I lie him down next to me while I say Shema. He sometimes fusses through the first book reading but otherwise he loves it. (It should be noted that during shema is virtually the only time during the day he isn't demanding to be held.) I then carry him to his room and put him in his crib. If he's fussy I'll first calm him down. I then say good night and tell him if he needs anything, he should call Wink

Then comes the hard part - leave, but as soon as he makes a sound (unless its happy sounds), run in and get him back in a good mood. Try to do it without picking him up - by me it's usually "Yehudah! You're not ready to go to sleep? Oh! Where did your paci go?" And I usually wait for a smile and then give him his paci. If need be, I'll pick him up, calm him down, but put him back in awake. There are the frustrating nights where he just won't tolerate it and I have to rock him to sleep, but so far it's going well. They say the key is to leave the baby drowsy but awake, so s/he learns how to put him/herself to sleep. I don'tusually leave him drowsy, just happy. Hatzlacha raba!

amother

Mon, Jan 05 2009, 2:51 am

it seems that many babies go to sleep with a pacifier for help and that is GREAT but my baby does not take a pacifier, so none of these ways are going to work, to just put her down and let her suck a pacifier. that is why I am at a loss of what to do. we tried MANY MANY pacifiers and none worked.

I do have a bedtime ritual with my baby. we take a bath. she is allowed to play a little bit more. then she is fed (bottle) and then we go into her room where it is mostly dark except for a lightg on in the hallway and I rock her to almost sleep and then I put her in, but many times she ends up crying and so I pick her up and rock her to full sleep. I wanted to know if there was anything else that I could do other than letting her cry it out.

mimivan

Mon, Jan 05 2009, 3:04 am

I always nursed mine to sleep until about one when I rocked them to sleep in their strollers and transferred them to a bed. This has been fine for one or two, but for number three, I need another solution, because I am so exhausted by the end of the day I fall asleep nursing him and then wake up at weird hours.

I would nurse while sitting straight up...I like what a poster wrote about the No cry Sleep solution...in fact, I'd like to buy the book.

I don't mind rocking them to sleep but others do and the ganenette complains that my toddler won't take a nap with the others...so I think I've got to make the transition to actually teaching them how to go to sleep by themselves.

Amital

Mon, Jan 05 2009, 5:58 am

I also vote the the no-cry sleep solution.

The basic premise is a graduated "program." Start by putting the baby almost all of the way to sleep like you have been, then lay them down in the crib to finish. Move a little each day until you put them down awake and alert and they do it themselves. Of course, there is much more, but that's the basic course. Smile

I would pick up my kids when they cried, and put them back down when they stopped--sometimes I got sore from all the bending, but in that, you don't let them cry it out, but do help them learn to drift off to sleep themselves.

chavs

Mon, Jan 05 2009, 9:05 am

All right, I didn't like the no cry sleep solution, it seemed like it was made very cheaply and wasnt what I would call clear and a lot of it was spend advocating itself.

I really like Dr Sears "Baby Sleep Book", its made well, read easily and has some great ideas and its clear.

Another good book is Tracy Hoggs "The baby Whisperer" She is completely against ever leaving a baby or child to cry but also doesnt do co-sleeping, unless thats what you want in which case you wouldnt be reading her book (she says), it does take a lot of effort because you put the baby down while its still awake so it doesnt wake up scared because you were there when baby fell asleep but gone when baby wakes up. I am not sure what she says inregard to older children because I used it for ds when he was a baby, so its slightly different.
Read up a bit about all the suggestions you get, then choose and most importantly stick with whatever you choose for a while because no matter which you choose there are no easy fixes.

gryp

Mon, Jan 05 2009, 9:27 am

What works for me is to just keep putting the baby back down to sleep. When he cries, I count to 20 then go repacify (as in a pacifier) him. It doesn't work right away but eventually he gets the message, and he goes to sleep nicely. I rub his back slowly, pat him a bit, sing to him, tell him it's sleeping time, etc., if he's crying in the crib while I'm there.

But I co-sleep at night until I move the baby out of my room. The baby wakes up about once or twice a night for a quick feed.

When my baby cries, it doesn't help to ignore him because he starts screaming louder and louder until he's wide awake. And then I have to start all over again from scratch. This is the 3rd/4 that did that.

amother

Mon, Jan 05 2009, 9:46 am

GR wrote:

as ive already mentioned (im the OP) I wish that my baby would take a pacifier but she never did, so these suggestions, I would love to do but cant.

mo5

Tue, Jan 06 2009, 5:40 am

Same problem, ds refuses to take a pacifier.

Some of the other ideas, like patting them to sleep, soft calm music, swaddling them so they feel held have helped.

amother

Tue, Jan 06 2009, 5:43 am

OP :
I guess my original post was not clear. I want to try to get my baby to go to sleep on her own, but she does not take a pacifier and I dont want her to cry it out.

is there anything to do gradually so that I do not have to rock her to sleep?

chavs

Tue, Jan 06 2009, 8:06 am

try and read those books I mentioned, neither of them requires a pacifier in any way and both Dr Sears and Tracy Hogg's books are meant to help you help your baby sleep better at night (and during the day).

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