All I want is some peace!!!!!

amother

Wed, Jan 14 2009, 1:25 am

I am going crazy with my kids constant fighting Exploding anger

my dds are 4 and 2.5 and they are always arguing, teasing or actually fighting. it starts in the morning, as they wake they come into mine or dhs bed and as soon as theyre both up chances are they usually start arguing - every day about s/t else. the instidator is almost always the 4 yr old, but the 2 yr old will never let it rest she always has to answer back or tease her sister. I am constantly saying just ignore her or dont answer but they dont seem to get that concept. later in the day they will argue about whos toy.. this leads to pushing or hitting. again its generally the 4 yr old starting and she's the one who will push,hit,kick... sometimes the younger one will take something away just to annoy her (she's a professional "raitzer" - loosely translated as teaser, botherer(?) when she wants to be) they can be fighting about whos mommy I am, whos tznius (my 2yr old puuls off her pants and diaper in the morning but gets upset when 4 yr old says shes not tznius) or anything else they can argue about

my oldest will also push or shove my 18 month old when he took s/t she wants so I took a no tolerance of violence. no matters whos right, if theres hitting they go in time out (which is not a real time out - just sitting calmly on the couch while I count to 20 or 30) of course this is not very effective though I do see it helping a bit.

basically my oldest likes getting her way and playing with the toys she wants. she picks up certain things from school like threatening her younger sister that she wont be her friend or telling her shes mean, since my 2 yr old doesnt care she gets annoyed. I have tried not stepping into their arguments but oftentimes this leads to 4 yr old getting so annoyed that shell hit the younger one

I cant stand their fighting and it drives me crazy. in the morning when im tired and things are nuts as it is, it makes me really stressed.

I started a mitzvah chart with ahavas yisrael as one of the things and that helps a bit but I need ideas on how to end it. my oldest is not an angel in other respects either but thats a different story.

this post is long and disjointed but the bottom line is I need ideas!!!!!
again the ages are 4 and nearly 3 (reffered to as the 2 yr old for shortening)

also what do you think of a more serious consequence of hitting - for ex putting the 4 yr old in her room alone with the door closed which she really hates (daytime or not) is that traumatic or a few times and she'll learn her lesson?