Bar Mitzvah Present

proudmom

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 11:14 am

My cousin just turned bar mitzvah and my husband wants to give him cash what do you think is a normal amount to give?

goldrose

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 12:22 pm

Maybe I dont know too well, but my mind would tell me that if you feel like being generous, give fifty (or 54 - it's a multiple of chai), and if you feel like being regular, try 36.

Am I way off? I havent given many bar mitzva gifts!

hisorerus

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 12:35 pm

I was going to say the same thing. Although I haven't given many Bar Mitzva gifts either! Very Happy

red sea

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 12:46 pm

Well the bar mitzvah gifts really depend on the location, in LI you need to give min of 100$, in brooklyn less than 72$ is an insult, out of town 36-54 is normal.

proudmom

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 12:47 pm

goldrose wrote:

my Dh also said 50 and I told him its too much because he isnt getting married no bills to pay no expenses and my DH said I was right on that one. So now I dont know.

goldrose

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 12:48 pm

proudmom, but I didnt say 50! I said if you feel like being generous, then 50! - Basically, I agree with you, he isnt getting married... Smile

chocolate moose

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 1:26 pm

right, it's not hachnoses kallah after all. why not a jewish book? there are many even if the kid isn't a learner.

SMG

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 1:30 pm

I always like going with books. Sometimes if you buy a bunch at a time, they give you a break. Something like Ishei Hatanach or another less typical sefer.
Also, I know it's cheesy, but I did it for my brothers and have done it other times since, but a nice pen (maybe with the BM boy's name engraved).
I know, I know, "Today I am a fountain pen..." LOL

stem

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 2:09 pm

For a boy in the family, we chip in with other family members and buy him a nice watch. He'll get plenty of sefarim!

shopaholic

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 4:17 pm

For a cousin I would give $50 because I usually give $36. Truth is, I've only been to a couple other than my brothers & bil's.

technic

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 4:19 pm

tovah 36 PENS???? I know they usuallly end up w that many - but not all from the same person!!! LOL

downsyndrome

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 5:01 pm

Oh gosh, technic! The 36 was the response to cash, not pens!!!

My son got 17 challah dekels (covers) as Bar Mitzvah gifts. Here comes the challah dekel gemach!!!

lucky

Wed, Jan 25 2006, 8:32 am

My mom gives a matzo tash for all her nephews.
I never give money, just a nice sefer. Or for close family, we all chip in for a bigger gift.

downsyndrome

Wed, Jan 25 2006, 2:42 pm

Why do you say a challah dekel is a terrible present? I think under regular circumstances it is a wonderful gift, but in our case we were over-gifted. We even know why it happened - My son has Down syndrome and people had a hard time figuring out what to give him. He got lots of duplicate gifts - some very beautiful ones, nice ideas. He got two junior challah boards, he got several wristwatches, quite a few Shabbos zmiros'lech, Tehillims, siddurim, CD players, shtenders, pens, etc. and of course the 17 challah dekels.

LoveMy2Kids

Wed, Jan 25 2006, 2:52 pm

What about a savings bond? The money comes in handy when they are an adult, and not wasted in their teens. The nice part is you can give a $75 bond for $37.50 (at least when I bought one a few years back).

chocolate moose

Wed, Jan 25 2006, 2:54 pm

But for a Bar Mitzvah gift? Even for a wedding, if you get more than one, how many do you need? Also, it's a personal, what if the giftee doesn't like it........

I stick to something returnable! Or Tupperware!

7diamonds

Wed, Jan 25 2006, 2:59 pm

We usually give seforim but 4 of our friends got together and bought our son a silver menorah-that was really nice.
And the amount to spend (or give cash) should not just be a set amount but based on your financial solvency and how close you are to the boy or his parents.
For instance, we have received anywhere from 18 to 360 from friends or relatives at any given bar mitzvah (not including what was from Buby and Zaidy, of course).